is having one or two affairs over the course of a lifetime pretty standard in marraiges?

Question

it would certainly seem so. even the happily married have secrets....

thats why i see marraige as a social contract. you owe it to society to stay together (granted its not violent or anything like that.), get along and raise well adjusted kids. after that, or if you have no children, why even get married?

men and women...and they do talk when theyre confident their spouse wont know.

Answer 1

Yes, it's probably standard, although very few people would admit to having an affair.

Answer 2

people years ago didn't have as long a life expectancy as our generation so when a life long marital contract was entered into back then, they did not have the luxury of second guessing it. nowadays, because people are living twice as long, marriage is a very difficult decision loaded with expectency of both parties. you are after all, making a decision to stay with someone for 50 years or so.

this causes natural pressure on both partners. sometimes, I feel a standard contract should apply to marriage whereby every 10 or 12 years (some agreed period) there could be a review of how the partnership has fared. this keeps things relatively refreshed and open to discussion. think about it. if it's not working out, then the marriage ends. as do most contracts in life. it's just a concept.

having said the above, if pressure were to be taken off marriage as it stands, then i don't see how anyone would consider having an affair as they would then be seen to directly contributing to the break down.

deep down, i think you know the answer to your own question

Answer 3

I dont think so, maybe over a bad relationship it might be common place, but again i stress that trust is a key factor in any relationship. One question you might ask yourself? If I am thinking of cheating, what am I not getting from my partner? Talk to them if it can't be resolved, then move on. String someone along, while you go out on the town, is never the thing to do. Sure you dont want to hurt their feeling by leaving some if you cheat in the long run you will hurt them anyway.

Answer 4

Finding out what the average number of affairs is does not give people the green light to do it. No, affairs is NOT THE NORM. So no, having one or two affairs in a marriage is not standard.

Answer 5

Actually, I think that we will never know the answer to that question as I would assume most married men that have affairs would certainly not answer a survey about the subject.

Answer 6

Affairs are bound to happen if you didn't marry for pure love. Those that married for true love will be faithful to each other until the end. Those that married just to avoid being lonely will cheat. And why do I say they will cheat. Because they have started to cheat the day they married because they knew their hearts weren't really in it any how.

Answer 7

I certainly hope not. I know married people who would never ever cheat on their partner. I firmly believe marriage is a committment that you're only with that person, period-the end. If you want someone else, you get out of the marriage FIRST.

Answer 8

I'm betting that it is, some of the naive folks on here blindly think their spouses are faithful to them.....if they only knew...

I have been with many, many married women, so I can't believe the only one or two who are actually faithful are on Yahoo Answers tonight !

Answer 9

No having a affair once married is not standard.

Answer 10

I don't know if it's normal to have affairs during the marriage. I haven't had any yet.