what should i do.....?

Question

I just admitted to myself that i'm lesbien. (after a few years of denil) and i think i should tell my mom but....I'm afraid of how she'll react. i mean she says oh I won't get mad or I'll understand but i know from experience that about half the time that isn't true....

another problem is how do you bring something like that up? I mean i can't just walk into the room and say "Oh ya mom by the way i'm lesbien" thats just like not possible.

Please people, don't make any rude or stupid comments, i need serious advice.

Answer 1

the first people i ever came out to was my mom and my sister. It was the hardest thing I ever did. For weeks I was thinking about how I would do it, get my chance, and then chicken out. The buildup was such a nerve-wracking experience.

I finally got the courage sat them down and told them I was gay. I just came right out and said. Both of them took it so well, and we all hugged and we moved on. It was a little odd for a little while afterwards, but, it just took some getting used to the new situation for us all. But, it was the best thing I ever did.

Afterwards I wondered why I was so freaked out about telling them. I should of trusted them more.

good luck to you!!!

Answer 2

This is the first time I've "answered" or even looked at this function. I'm a social worker and when I read your question I wanted to say something. When you wrote that your Mom says, "Oh, I won't get mad" and "I'll understand," I got the impression that you have a loving relationship with her. Mothers want their children to be happy. She knows that as a lesbian you may face discrimination and hate from uneducated and narrow minded people. Just explain to her that pretending to be someone you are not is making you very unhappy. Being a lesbian is the way God (or Allah, or Mother Nature, or The Powers That Be) made you and there must have been a reason for it. It is not something you can change. Being a lesbian doesn't change who you are or who you have always been. Being a lesbian is not a reflection on how good or bad she was/is as a parent. Being able to finally live the truth makes you happy and you want her to be happy with you.

Do some reading about how other people have come out to their parents. I'm sure that you are worrying for nothing and you will be so relieved when she finally knows. However, be prepared for what you will do if things don't go as well as you hope. Your Mom may need some time to come to terms with the news. She may have always dreamed of throwing a huge wedding for you and having a dozen or so grandchildren. She has to adjust her dreams for you as well as for herself.

The best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Thank you for asking for serious advice. Be prepared for the idiots who you know will answer just because they can. Now, as to what to do. Were I you, I'd sit my mom down at a nice little coffee shop or what not and tell her VERY gently. See, from the sounds of it, your mom is like some of my friends mothers. The kind that will never say they'll get mad and yet they do because they feel that somehow your life is theirs by proxy and that they've screwed you up because of what you have become or realized you are. Bring it up by mentioning that you and your girlfriend are seriously looking into moving in together on an apartment and you'd like to know if your mom would like to help decorate the place. You need to "feel" her out and see what she's going to say and how she's going to act with this news first before anything else. Yet don't chicken out on me here! YOU HAVE TO TELL HER THEN AND THERE!!!!!! After she's says yes or no to the decorating tips and whatnot that is. Write me if you need to.

Answer 4

you should definitely tell your mom that you're a lesbian. If she has a good reaction, that's great. If she goes into Psycho B*tch mode, give her some time to cool off. Eventually she'll get over herself and come to realize you need her now more than ever.

Ways to bring up the lesbian situation all depend on the parents themselves. I personally started the conversation buy turning the channel to the LOGO network (Gay/Lesbian television station) when we were watching TV together. She asked my why I put it on that station and I simply said "because I'm bi". She just nodded her head and kept watching TV. After wards we talked and she was cool with it. She even watches LOGO with me from time to time.

I really hoped this helped you out, good luck!

Answer 5

ok, seriously, don't bring it up!

i didn't say anything to anybody until i was "caught" in a dress.. for the um-teenth time. and then later in a compromising sexual position with another man. it's no big deal. they'll get over it!

live life! it's yours.

Answer 6

This site will help you baby!

http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Coming_Out3/Index.htm