is cheating okay if it helps save a failing marraige?

Question

i bet this is almost never the case....but if your spouse is being a jerk, being mean...just not being a good spouse, and you cheat on them....if it makes them change as a person for the better, is it okay?

now thats a dilly of a pickle

purely hypothetical. but what if the marraige was rocky, and that made your spouse realize that they sucked as a husband/wife?

Answer 1

that is a dumb question. Cheating is NOT good in any circumstance...

Answer 2

It can go either way, depending on if the other spouse is willing to work things through, after finding out. If the spouse (cheated on) can not see beyond the affair and understand why their spouse strayed, there is no hope. If however, the spouse, swallows their own pride and can understand the actions of the other and vows to change for the better, there is hope.
Everyone is capable of cheating and not all cheaters are just in it to hurt the other. Sometimes it's just a cry for attention and nothing more. It doesn't make it right or tolerable but if they are in it to make a bold statement and things actually do work out, then the end justifies the means.
Talk will only get you so far and leaving is easily done. If two people are meant to be together nothing will break them apart.

Answer 3

I think cheating usually makes a marriage worse, by adding a new factor into the already dilluted relationship. Mistrust. I mean if my hubby cheated on me because are marriage was going down the tubes, it would just further impress upon me the fact that we should not be together. I think being able to trust your partner is a key factor in any good relationship. Besides if you feel the need to go outside the marriage for affection, then something is missing, besidesthe lack of communication. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Cheating will not take you no where,instead it wil make you feel the bad guy. If your marriage is rocky and your spouse can't and wont change, it's a sign of getting out. Just think about you first, and don't even try to cheat while your married, if your conscience will not kill you,then some how someone did.
My husband did cheat on me this past Oct. and Nov.,he thought that it will make realize that I can't live without him, he didn't know by doing that he ruined my 3 kids life and future, and now we don't want anything to do with him, and he still begging to give him another chance, this was his 2nd time, so its time for us to move on without heavy drama......so do think about it before you do this thing............

Answer 5

No!!!!
If u believe this then u just want an excuse to cheat....
How may time have u heard "well u drove me to do it"!!!!

Come on!! How old r u? There r many ways to show this person what he/she is going to mess up if they keep it up. U can start dressing up like u use to. U can ask them to meet u some were to have dinner or coffee. Go on dates with no kids or family. Woooo them Do the things u did at one point to get them to Love u.

May b it not only them we have lost to do with it to. Check ur self 1st and see what u have been doing. Mayb u nag or disrespect them.

U can also see a therapist or a couple counselor.

Just cz u r married doesn't mean u have that person 4life. Marriage like every thing in life takes hard work and dedication. U have to some time remind ur self y u fell in LOVE and married this person. As well as show them y they fell in love and married u. Y is it when hard times come along we always tend to cry and run. Get urself together and remember what u once promised this person ( 4 better for worse, In thickness and in health to death do us part).

I wish u the best.

Answer 6

How can you predict going into it if it's going to make your spouse "better" or will make them "realize" anything? Unless you have a perfect foresight into the future, you can't predict what the outcome will be. However, you can be certain that when you cheat, you are breaking your promise to your spouse. Is it ever OK to break a serious promise on the off-chance that it might make something better? I don't think so. If you're going to break the vows, don't be such a coward, and do it in a direct manner - tell your spouse you're leaving. I don't care how one's trying to justify it - cheating and lying is always cowardice.

Answer 7

Many years ago, I cheated on my then-husband, once. He was stunned (so, actually, was I), then he began treating me better than he ever had. It was all superficial, though. I was still in a sick, sad, twisted situation and I should have walked away, with my dignity still intact, before cheating even became an option to me. I'm out of that marriage now, and am just grateful that I survived it and have learned from it. If things are really so rotten that you want to cheat, don't be as dumb as I was. Get out.

Answer 8

There are too many other good ways to help a failing marriage. I have always said once you cross that line(cheating), there's no going back. It might get better for a short while but in the end, the damage is done. Good Luck

Answer 9

I'm actually living this...

While I would never cheat even in the rough times my marriage was in, my wife concluded that I was cheating even though I wasn't when I went to visit my college friend last year. Since then she turned back into the woman I married. It's been amazing. It was an unforeseen benefit of a miscommunication. Don't cheat though. You may end up just getting jacked up over it...

Answer 10

Never in any situation is cheating alright. If anything it will hurt your marriage. I suggest you talk to your spouse about the problems that face you try to work things out, and if it doesn't help then I say the marriage isn't healthy.

Answer 11

1. It will not save your marriage. 2. It will just cloud your mind Whit thoughts of getting out and the other person, it makes it harder to make your decisions about the marriage. 3. Once you have cheated you can never go back. You will always consider doing it again and they will always be suspicious of you. It will end your marriage eventually. Decide first if you want the marriage or not. If it is bad and you want out, maybe the affair will give you the strength to leave. just don't count on the affair to turn into a real relationship.