I just found out that, while I still don't have a job to support myself and my child, my ex-husband opened a bank account in his name only to controll all of the money.
What do I do? Do I have any rights? I can't even hire a lawyer in this case cause I don't have any money at all.
Is my ex right to do this? What do you all think?
How can I survive with $45 in the bank and no job right now?
2007-04-13 10:50:01 · 13 answers · asked by Flor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The thing is that we had been married for 13 yrs before I asked for the divorce. We own a house together. Or we own some of it. We are not legally separated, yet. We just sleep in separate bedrooms and have been for 6 months.
Now, I am going to have to BEG him for money, even money to buy FOOD for HIS child?
2007-04-13 11:05:21 · update #1
BTW, he ALWAYS treated me like a piece of the furniture we have in the house. Something like "as long as you cook, clean, and have sex with me, everything will be great."
He NEVER did anything for me and thinks just working to provide for his family was more than enough. And now, as someone said below, since he has lost control of me, he's trying to control me through withholding of his precious MONEY!!
2007-04-13 11:07:19 · update #2
I am living with my stbx (soon-to-be-ex) husband and our two kids so I guess I can relate to a little what you are going through...I do have some questions though, I am assuming your child is young and not in school and that is why you are home? If you are separated how can you still expected your -ex to still pay ALL the bills, rent, food etc for the house. I work full time and we split everything halfway...you can't continue living the lifestyle you were used to when you were married because things are different now...both me and my stbx have our own bank accounts (in fact in different banks)...you need to get a job...there is no other suggestion (unless you have parents or family members that can give/loan you money)...if your child is young, then you and your -ex need to pay for daycare...you need to have your own money (not just to be able to hire a lawyer) but it will make yourself feel better and not so trapped...good luck
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Just read your additions:
Like I said before I can relate to you because I was married 7 years (we do not own a house though...we rent). We are not legally separated either, he just sleeps in the living room (for the last year or so)...You mention that you are "Now, I am going to have to BEG him for money, even money to buy FOOD for HIS child?" ...what was he doing before, putting the money in a joint account that you had access to that he now closed...he has to atleast support his child (I know how difficult things are right now because you can't file and get the courts to force him to pay)...Just curious why you can't work? Sounds like you are used to the nice life-style and I am not putting you down but you are going to have to get your own money...so either get a job, get it from family/friends, or get a boyfriend while you are still married to support your lifestyle...obviously I suggest getting a job...
From what you say about about him he does sound like a jerk but luckily you are finally getting out...you don't need anyone treating you like a piece of furniture...try to get a job and make your own money, I think you will respect yourself a little more than having to beg that loser for money to survive...
2007-04-13 11:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are seperated then he can open as many accounts in his name as he likes,He would not want a joint one with you. But he should however be paying child support. And i dont know about food and stuff maybe he should be paying some house keep money. Why are you still living together??
I think if you was living apart he would not be taking you for granted as much. May be you should talk to him about the money situation. Maybe you are entitled to benefits because i cant understand how u have been living up til now??
2007-04-13 11:00:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you are separated he is still your husband. But that has nothing to do with your question....
He can open up accounts anytime anywhere he wants and does not need your permission.
As for surviving with only $45, do you have child support terms in your separation documents?
2007-04-13 11:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is using money as another way of controlling you.
He cant control you as his wife any more so he has got
you where he wants you.
Can you apply for legal aide? Are there any solicitors who will see you free for the first consultation? When I began my divorce, I went to free mediators run by lifelife and they advised me on where to go and how I could get help.
Try a free counselling service, womens group, even a womens shelter may be able to help you. You need to get yourself out of this situation as quickly as possible. Do you have family who can help you out with a place to stay until you can sort yourself out? Dont be proud, ask and take all the help you can get, remember it is not just you but your child that needs to be safe. Good luck
2007-04-13 11:00:33 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself this:
CAN I AFFORD NOT TO HAVE A LAWYER?
I would venture to guess that the answer is:
NO!!!!
Never mind the $$. Lawyers are good at getting $$ out of HE who has $$. Your lawyer will go after your husband with tooth and claw, so that s/he gets properly paid. FIND A LAWYER, PRONTO!
You WILL get screwed if you do not get yourself a lawyer. Let this (getting a lawyer) be your first step toward taking your life in a new and better direction.
2007-04-13 11:15:22 · answer #5 · answered by katbyrd41 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are separated, there is nothing you can do. He has the right to open his own account at any time. It's a smart thing for him to do. The fact that you are still in the same house is meaningless.
2007-04-13 10:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have to go and get a separation agreement in order to be legally separated. Do this first. Need more information. Who asked for the divorce?
2007-04-13 10:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by browneyedgirl 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Call around and find a family attorney that will work pro bono to start. Tell your husband what you need for you and your child and if he doesn't come up with it, have the attorney get the money from him
2007-04-13 10:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No it is not right for your husband to do this half of the money is yours anyway. Find an attorney who will start working your case and request him to pay attorney's fees and cost. Stop feeling so dependent on him and become independent. FAST!
2007-04-13 10:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by ME 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
theres not much you can do and if you want to make it legal you see your lawyer and go from there... his money not yours in this case and your just going to have to leave or make him leave... get a job and start living your life without his help.. its hard but alot of people do it.
2007-04-13 10:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋