I find myself so confused. I think we still feel something for each other, but not what a couple should feel for one another. He is w/me to be near the kids, and I am w/for money stability. He is a good father, he has a great job, but i don't feel his equal. i feel like he has no respect for me. he calls me the occasional name, and tells my family our problems. it seems he puts me down every chance he gets. i can't think of anytime that he has ever had something positive to say about me. i haven't worked in 8 years, we live a good life and i would be lying if i said i wasnt scared to make it on my own. i think he is addicted to porn, and i recently found him looking up his ex on myspace. i don't think his heart is in it anymore. i think its all for the kids now. i don't know what to do anymore, we are suppose to be moving soon due to him being military, but i'm not sure i want to go w/him now. a person can only take so much.
anyone out there been thru something like this? help!
2007-04-13 10:34:00 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, sadly I have gone through it and finally got out. Without the respect it is useless to carry on with someone. My ex checked out and didn't feel I was his equal which made me feel that way also. Most if not all the decisions where made by him and if I disagreed about it I was just being a b---ch. I felt we should have made them together. You better believe it is scaring to go it alone, but I have gotten back on my feet and now feel I am much better off. He will have to pay child support and you can do it, just keep telling yourself how strong you are and when it said and done with you will be amazed how well you did. Living unhappy isn't worth it, we all deserve respect and to be loved. He has no disrecard for your feelings by looking up the ex on myspace. Take it one day at a time and you will do alright.
2007-04-14 07:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think anyone who is married for 8 years goes through this in some way; and, I really believe that women provide the emotional leadership to get through it. Men are not 'wired' to figure this out. Once a relationship gets 'stuck' ... the woman will either rise to the occasion, discover her power and breath new intimacy into the relationship ... or, she'll run. Half of marriages make it. The other half ... don't.
A woman who has helped many wives find their place as the Chief Emotional Officer of their marriages is Dr. Harriet Lerner. I've referenced one of her books below. I hope this helps.
2007-04-15 10:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by Sultan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋