Three years my husband cheated with a woman at work (who was my friend). They decided they were "soulmates" and wanted a life together despite our life...our three children and her life with husband and 2 young children. One of them being only 6 months old at the time. I filed for divorce.
..they remarried. I moved on...have remarried, am much happier than I've ever been. (even expecting a child with my new husband.) But...the difficult part for me is dealing with the hurt of this woman around my darling girls 50% of their
life. I feel she is a horrible role model for them, very selfish, materialistic..and coldhearted. My concerns about their dad of course are there because of his poor life choices......but he is their dad. I hope and pray that their marriage won't work
so my girls aren't raised around someone with such poor morals and values and such little respect for "family". The
statistics say it wont last...any opinions??
2007-04-13 10:06:19 · 16 answers · asked by backflip 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Their marriage probably will not last. She sounds miserable. I bet your ex is sorry already. The only thing you can do is be the good mother to your daughters that you are. Don't talk bad about your husband or his new wife. Believe me, kids are not stupid. They see alot that we think they don't see. If she keeps it up your daughters won't even want to see their Dad when she is around. Just let them know that your lifestyle is different and do the right thing even when you feel like you want to rip the other 2 apart. It works out if you just focus on doing what is best for the girls. The kids will know what is right. I am glad you found someone and are happy with him. Live your life and don't worry so much - they have you!
2007-04-13 10:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first you are not completely over the whole thing.The reason that I say that is because if you were you would not be concerned by the fact that she has an influence on your daughter,because if you are raising your daughter the right way you have nothing to worry about.Because you are not over it completely any little thing will spark you to want them to break up.That my dear is human nature.The reason that statistics say that they won't last is because of the "if he cheated on me he'll cheat on you thing",what you do is don't hope for the worst sometimes a relationship will last because the other parties are aware that you are waiting for the demise of the relationship,and they would rather die then give you that satisfaction,pay them no mind and continue to raise your daughter the right way and you will see the best results come out of that not out of waiting for your ex to get what he deserve.
2007-04-13 10:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by hendersonswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you hope their marriage doesn't work because you think she is a bad role model because.....huh? Don't you think your ex had anything to do with her behavior? Seems like your wishes for them to divorce is more out of your anger for what had happened rather than your kids. They were so young and don't know anything about affairs. Unless YOU are educating them on the matter to make your ex look like the bad guy. I am not condoning adultery, but things happen and you have got to move on. Is she a abusive parent, or are you just angry that your ex left you for her? As far as it lasting, only time will tell, but I think it is a little juvenile for you to wish for it. Despite how you feel, your children most likely love their father don't want anything bad for him. Maybe they are soul-mates? Obviously you and your ex weren't. Get over it.
2007-04-13 10:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Millionaire in training 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can work, ive seen it work. Since you are so much happier now, have you ever considered that they might be also? Maybe they are soul mates. I dont want to sound harsh, but what holds true for you may also be true for them. I honestly think sometimes we cant help who we fall in love with, maybe it was meant to be. My son in law left my daughter after 8 years of marriage and 12 yrs together (1 child) for another girl and while I was upset about the situation and the way it happened... I cant say those 2 dont love each other...
2007-04-13 10:11:36 · answer #4 · answered by just me #1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The real question is: if someone makes a mistake, does that make them no good forever. They both made mistakes, what they did was the worst in my book. But does that condem them forever. I don't think it does. Sometimes doing bad things makes a person better, they see the wrong and hurt they've caused and try to do better, also they might even go more out of the way to make things right, just a though. Good Luck
2007-04-13 10:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, don't get yourself caught up in their drama. All you can do in this horrible situation is be a stronger force in your girls' life than this other woman. Have LOTS of dialogue and discussions with your girls. Tell them that while they have to respect their stepmother as their elder (and stepmother), they don't have to accept her lifestyle choices. DO NOT put a wedge between them and their father, but rather focus more on leading them towards your values by being a STRONG, SECURE ROLE MODEL.
As for your ex's marriage, who cares how long it lasts? It sounds to me as though you're maybe feeling a little bitter still and want his marriage to fail. As long as you're being a positive influence on your girls' life, you have nothing to worry about.
Good luck.
2007-04-13 10:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Courtney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matthew, if she's trash, what does that make you?? Your in basic terms as "trashy" per chance somewhat extra because you said that you've been contained in the missionary field. You were think to be a mild to human beings, no longer a stumbling block! At 18 you knew finished properly what you've been doing. Your spouse might want to quite be careful because you look to don't have any morals.
2016-10-18 01:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it won't-but you might wanna get over it in case it does.
For both of them to leave marriages with small children,their bond must have been extremely close-I am not saying it is right-I am simply saying that I would never risk my family or marriage for a 'fling'.
I also have a feeling that this woman isn't as bad as you are saying-You were friends right?You wouldn't be friends with someone if they were that bad.I think you are just still hurt over the deception thing-You trusted them both and they screwed you over.
If you are raising your girls right,the small amout of influence she will have on them will not affect them.You be strong,selfless,warm and loving,and your girls will aspire to be like you-not her.
You love your new life and husband,so enjoy it.Forget about your ex.
2007-04-13 16:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it won't last! He will cheat on her too when he finds another "soulmate"!! That's bull,anyway that he says he found his soulmate. That's code for "I was bored with you so I'm moving on". he's just a cheater and always will be. When he gets bored of her and her kids, he'll move on!!!! Then you'll have another woman to deal with. I'm sorry for you, but I guess that's how life will be for you. Always new women to deal with.
2007-04-13 10:39:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eventually, your girls will find out the truth about their dad and step mom.
Let the girls make their own decision based on the relationship they have with them.
Your best revenge is to live your life to it's fullest, and raise the kids to have respect for everyone.
2007-04-13 10:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋