I am young but i recently got married, it seems like a routine. We wake up go to work, get off work go home, eat dinner , watch tv, take a shower, then go to sleep. I get a little bored at times. I like to go out but my husband likes to stay home and be on the computer all day. I think it makes me get a little frustrated at times. ...
2007-04-13 09:49:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are both young and we have three children together.So we are really busy during the day we work and when we get off we spend time with the kids. He helps me alot around the house he cooks and cleans, since i have my hands full. By the time all the kids go to sleep we both crash out,
2007-04-16 06:29:37 · update #1
I'm in the same situation... not married... but living together.
We just try to make our weekends worth while. We only have sundays off together... so we make sure saturday is spent with friends... and Sunday is our time to do something fun. Whether it be a movie... or a walk in the park....
We're seeing a play this sunday! ( His idea!) lol.
Just talk to your hubby... let him know that you need to do more then just sit around the house every moment spent together.
I'm sure you'll figure something out.
Good luck
EJ
2007-04-13 09:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by ErinJean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is a routine, punctuated by short spikes of excitement. Each day is only as exciting as you make it. Different people find different things "exciting"; my husband and I both find it "exciting" when we have a free weekend that we can spend without leaving the house; I read or play a videogame, he tinkers with his computers or works on a remodeling project, and in the evening we might watch our favorite TV show. It is actually exciting for us, not in a sense that it triggers a release of endorphins, but in a sense that it is what we find comforting.
If you prefer to have a more active lifestyle, take the lead. Suggest taking dance classes together, go hiking or camping, take up a sport that you can both enjoy (tennis or fencing, for example). There probably are local groups that cater to couples with various interests; but you have to figure out first what interests you. If you have no interests or passions, and are dependent on others to keep you entertained, your life will always seem boring. Your entertainment has to come largely from within - then you will find even your everyday routines rewarding.
2007-04-13 09:59:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex and lots of it. Even if you have kids...don't give up..make time. Tell him you want to go out. That you need to. Make it fun for him. If he's on the computer maybe think about doing a little lap dance for him to get his attention on you instead of a screen. There are so many little things you can do without going out of the house. Candle light dinners...surprise him and rent a porno. Many guys find that a turn on and keep you mind open about it. It can be a really intimate experience for the both of you.
2007-04-13 10:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tina D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so when he's on the computer, come in on him dressed in a sexy outfit with heels and your hair and make-up done. Speak in a low seductive voice.
If he does not get off the computer, something is wrong!
Good luck!
Smile at him first thing in the morning. Make him breakfast. Tell him he is the best thing in the world. Tell him you can't wait to see him after work. Cook him his favorite meal and offer to give him a massage. Be kind, quick to forgive and don't let yourself be snippy at him.
Win him over and write us again to see if anything changes.
If you think this is totally lame and beneath you, then you've discovered part of the problem...
2007-04-13 12:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going out with other young married couples. Maybe you could eat dinner out once in awhile. Look in the paper there are always shows, concerts, events going on. You dont have to go out every night save it for the weekends. He could have computer time during the week and your time on the weekend.
My fiance plays computer games before and after work to relax. So i know how obsessive they can be.
2007-04-13 10:02:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either do one of two things: Get yourself another computer and go online yourself, and then interact with your husband on the sites he goes to.
Or
Have a frank talk with him and tell him how you feel in a way that is non-confrontational. Suggest that you two go out once a week to dinner and a movie, or any other activity and then you'll leave him alone the rest of the time.
My husband and I are both addicted to the computer and we have two computers at the house. He goes to his sites, I go to mine, and we interact in common sites (how we met nearly two years ago). In between we make it a point to spend time together AWAY FROM HOME and its routines. That's one way to keep things fresh between us.
2007-04-13 09:55:12 · answer #6 · answered by flyhasitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with most married couples is that they stop going out on dates. Funny enough, someone said that and I can't remember their name, but it's true. Even simple outtings like going to dinner or seeing a movie keeps the marriage exciting. You can even find a game that your husband may like to play on the computer, with you.
2007-04-13 09:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know lots of happily married couples. The myth is that marriage has to be boring, but the couples I know are off taking family road trips, going on vacations in the Caribbean together, out dancing every night, hosting regular dinner parties, playing with babies and doing lots of fun things all the time. We live in a commercial culture. In order to sell products, you must convince people that they are lacking something they need. In order to sell to married people, you must convince them that they are not in a state of contentment, that they need something outside of their marriage to make them happy. It's all nonsense, really. People who are afraid to get married have probably bought into commercialism telling them that they will miss out on materialism or womanizing, or whatever is supposed to make them happy, while being in a safe, committed relationship is not supposed to be enough. See how screwed up that logic is? Marriage = massive tax write offs, convenience like you wouldn't believe, and greater emotional security. 'Sometimes the spark dies' is a cop-out. You have to work towards anything you want in life, including a healthy relationship. Do parents abandon their kids during their teenage years because 'the spark dies'? Hell no, so that's a lousy excuse. A spark must be created. Fires don't light themselves. Yeah, married men have sex with the same woman, but they also get to have sex REGULARLY, whenever they want it, with a woman who already knows how they want it served up. That's a big deal.
2016-05-19 17:53:34 · answer #8 · answered by diann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make plans ahead of time and let your husband know that you have plan something special for the both of you. Also, let him know that by following through with your plans will make you very happy. Plan a date to the movies, the beach, or maybe a pic-nic even if it's after work. At least you are trying to make things happend in your relationship this should show your husband that you have needs and they should be met. At least half way. Best of Luck!
2007-04-13 09:57:56 · answer #9 · answered by jv27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Pushing will only make a mess of things.
Closeness and common ground take a long time to build, be patient. that is what loving someone is about.
Sit down, and talk, no attitudes. remember you made vows to each other, and love is not jealous, proud, boastful, etc. No score keeping.
Agree to have a night or two a week, in the beginning, that is 'our night'. Take turns choosing the activities.
No whining, no demanding.
Everything will be okay, if you love each other.
2007-04-13 09:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋