Is it normal?

Question

Is it normal that when in a marriage to have crushes? I think my hubby has one on some one else but has not acted on it or even flirted. I don't think that I am paranoid but should I just accept his feelings?

Answer 1

I think you have nothing to worry about then! I'd say it is normal, it may happen to you sometime. You can't control your feelings but you can control your actions...and by doing so....he is staying in control! I'd show that man some love honey! :)

Answer 2

Ok, this is not a good answer, will not be popular, and I'm selfishly venting a bit.

Answer to your question: Not anything to worry about at this point; perfectly natural; if he starts acting on it, it's a problem.

However, several of the answers bothered me, to the effect that you should somehow consider yourself lucky or fortunate that he's not acting on it. I find this to be ridiculous. Maybe I'm unrealistic, but I don't think a man gets special credit for not acting on a crush for someone else when he's married. You're *supposed* to not act like a single teenager-it's what you signed up for.

Would he be considered equally lucky if you had a comparable situation?

I keep seeing all of these Q&A that boil down to essentially the same thing over and over: Women should beg,plead, cajole, and entice their men into acting like men. If men cheat, the woman somehow failed to be sufficiently hot, even though she's working,dealing with kids, cleaning, housework,cooking, etc. and he's doing jack at home or in the bedroom.

Men seem to be considered to be some sort of retarded animals, if these answers are to be believed, and certainly not worth attracting or keeping. If I were a guy, I think I'd be offended at how little is thought of men.

What is going on here? My husband is an amazing guy (apparently even more so than I thought, from reading all of these Q&A), and yeah, he's a man, but he isn't an @$$hole.

Answer 3

Yes, it's normal to have crushes. I'd say, it would be abnormal if after you marry someone you'd never ever found anyone else attractive ever again. A "crush" simply means acknowledging that you find a person attractive. It's a far cry from acting on it. Unless you have some evidence that your husband's intention is to act on it, just let it go, and tell him to pick up his tongue off the floor.

Answer 4

I have a crush on hockey players. My fiance is okay with that. I think if he had a crush on another girl I might be a little jealous.

As long as he continues to respect you, love you, and treat you how you should be treated, I really see no harm with his little crush. Just like most crushes... it will probably go away after some time.

And if it really bothers you, maybe you should let him know. Then at least he's aware of your feelings. Any good marriage needs good communication. And chances are, he wont be upset.

Answer 5

Thats a hard one. Because more marriages fail because of cheating and cheating starts with a crush. If he's open about it and doesnt act on it, I think thats healthy. We're all humans. Thats how I keep hearing Celebrity Couple Will Smith and Jada keep their relationship strong. They talk openly about their crushes. I am VERY jealous , but I try to fight it by just asking my guy to tell me the truth. My options are to except it or not. But I also remember that he has options too. And he chose to be with me. So that makes me feel better.

Answer 6

It's perfectly normal to have crushes or think another person is attractive regardless of if you are married or not. Just because you have the ring on your finger does not make every other woman or man out there invisible. It's human nature. If he's not flirting or acting on it then don't worry.

Answer 7

Guys constantly, and about every 5 seconds or so, fight the biological urge to go for other chicks. Women do not understand this pressure...we, as guys, though, are so used to it it has become like a wispy thought. No matter how hard you fight though, sometimes you have to release the pressure (sorta like a tea kettle....you can heat it all you want but eventually its gonna start screaming for release). The smart guys release it by going to the gym, hanging with their male friends and doing dumb guy stuff, jacking off, flirting, watching Skinimax, or strip clubs. The idiot guys release it in other , more harmful ways. If his flirtations become something different, then worry.

Answer 8

I think it's normal. You're CHOOSING to commit to each other. As long as nothing interferes with that choice, it's perfectly normal to think someone else is a hottie. But yeah - the big no-no lies in acting on it.

If you're having some weird feelings about it, talk to him in a non-accusatory way and set some ground rules so you're both on the same page.

Answer 9

It is normal and natural. Don't think bad of him, humans can't control being attracted to different people during the course of their lives. Just because he got married, doesn't mean he stopped being human. What he does about it is the only thing that matters.

If he does have a crush and hasn't done anything about it, should make you a very happy wife. Means he loves you, and respects you. Most wives would trade places with you in a NY minute.

Answer 10

Well, I don't think it's all that unusual, and it even sounds like, if your husband could choose not to have a crush, he would make that choice. What can you do? You can tell someone not to feel a crush, but he can't stop feeling what he feels. He is behaving well, and for that you should be very appreciative.

Answer 11

Well is normal to look or fantasize; the real problem start when people try to make real their fantasies.
Just make sure to never let your guard down. If the girl is your best friend then watch out because there is no loyalty among women, that's a fact of life.