My mom has been there for everyone of her grnd kids births, But how do I get out of having her in the room ? I don't want to hurt her feelings. Help please.
2007-04-13 09:06:21 · 25 answers · asked by B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
quick question, are you planning on having anyone in the room besides you and the baby's dad, besides the doctors of course, if you aren't then let her know that this is something that you want to share with the dad and want it be to special between the two of you.
That is what i told my mom and she totally understood my and my husbands feelings
2007-04-13 09:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Diana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you don't want anyone else there. I don't want anyone else other than my husband in the room when I have our baby. It is a personal choice and you shouldn't be forced into having your mother in the room if it makes you uncomfortable. This is YOUR birth experience, not hers. If you prefer to wait, you can tell your nurse that you don't want anyone else in the room and you can make the nurse the "bad guy." They are used to that and happy to make things easier for the laboring moms.
If it hurts her feelings, I would say "sorry Mom, its' nothing against you, I just don't want an audiance gauking at my love canal while I am popping out this kid. I just prefer to be alone (or with the father, etc.)"
This is a very intimate time. You should have things the way you want...that is why Birth Plans are so popular.
Good luck!
2007-04-13 09:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Julie J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing. My mom is adamant about being in the delivery room when I have my baby. I'm just 11 weeks, and she already has a bag packed! Please note this is my first pregnancy. So she's excited. But, the idea freaks me out. I told her that I only wanted my husband there. Not that it was anything personal, even though it was, I just wanted to share this experience with the one who helped create this baby. She was hurt for a couple of days, but then went about her business of planning showers and shopping. Be honest with her. It will work out!
2007-04-13 09:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by mtippett17 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that you are going to have to tell her. I told my mom she was welcome in the room but then later on changed my mind. I just approached her and told her that I really wanted this to be a "moment" for my husband and I to experience together. That we would both be more comfortable and more focused on the birth without others in the room. It was hard but she took it really well, I was surprised. She said that is how she felt when she gave birth she had her mom in there but she said she liked it more when it was just my dad and her. I hope it goes well. Remeber this is your decision, you get to choose who you want in the room. When it is all said and done she will not care, she will be so happy to meet the baby, tell her she can be one of the first ones to come in and see it.
2007-04-13 09:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by 1st time momma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend also didn't want her mother in the room. They didn't notify ANYBODY when they went to the hospital. Dad called to announce the birth after the baby was born.
Your mother should be more concerned about your feelings than hers. An alternative is to just tell your Mom that you do not want her in the room until the baby is born and want her to wait in the waiting room. If she hesitates, again, go back to the first plan and don't nofity anybody until after baby is born.
2007-04-13 09:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your doctor to tell her only your husband is allowed in..that way you can get this full experience with you and your spouse.
Just explain to him that you are uncomfortable with her being in there and don't need or want any distractions.
If he won't explain that to her then just politely ask her to stay out so you and spouse can do this together. The most she will be is a little upset, but it is your life, you only get to birth this child ONCE...it is not worth fighting over so just lay the line!
2007-04-13 09:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by ChelYox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this same dilemma with my first birth. She kept hinted that she was staying and I thought that was not her place to say who was staying so I just plain out told her "Mom, I only want the babies father in here, Get out!" Tell your mom its not anything against her you just want it to be you two and everyone else will get there chance to see and hold the baby later. I'm now pregnant with my second and am having my husband, my mother, and his mother in the room with me.
2007-04-13 09:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell her how you feel as nicely as you can, but without leaving any room for her to convince you into it. You may want to keep her close by just in case though. When I was having my son I didn't want my mom there either, I was weirded out and thought she would take over. But when the contractions started to get bad my feeling changed fast and I was like, "mommy, I need you to hold my hand!"
2007-04-13 10:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by boo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her just that. Tell her you love her and dont want to hurt her feelings, but this is a special time for you and your husband and you would prefer if she would wait in the waiting room with the rest of the family. Honesty is always the best policy!!! Good luck!!!
2007-04-13 09:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by Bella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you want only your spouse/signigicant other present for this birth. If needed have the hospital staff tell her there's only one person to be in the delivery room at the time of birth. It's true for my hospital here.
2007-04-13 09:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋