crys hestericaly and locks herself in the toilet.i have recentaly separted from my wife after 10 yrs of marriage after i found out she was having an affair.she and her new partner who is 61 and she is 34 now live together but because of a court order my children are not allowed to be with him because he has tried to kill himself twice.but my daughter is staying at my sister in laws house across the street less than 30 meters away.what has happened is i have my 3 boys living with me and my daughters there because they say she wants to be with her mother.rubbish she wants to live with me her dad and her brothers and has been really really upset saying to me i dont want to go back ,screaming after she has to be pysicaly pulled apart from her dad.i have aslo started an intrime residence order before the court soon ,do i let her go back or if she starts screaming crying do i keep her
2007-04-13 09:02:32 · 29 answers · asked by tony t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like something has happened to her or she is rightfully scared that something will happen. Go to court and get custody of her. She is crying out for her daddy to protect her.
2007-04-13 09:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by ladywildfireok 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to follow the law correctly, I know it is stupid as your daughter obviously wants to be with you, visit your sister in law and find out how she is acting when you are not around. I would put in for full custody as the situation does not seem right for your daughter to live at your sister in laws because the man your ex is living with is unstable. When the relationship with this older man goes pearshape she will want to walk back in with her children as if nothing happened.
I wish you loads of good luck, but I think the courts have made a huge blunder, I feel so sorry for you and your daughter.
2007-04-13 20:28:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have to let her go back by law, then keep her with you. There must be some reason she doesn't want to be with her mother. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with her mother, but your daughter has a reason for reacting as she does.
Perhaps, while she is with you tomorrow, just casually start a conversation about her life at her house with mom.
Examples:
-Have you had any neat dreams lately?
-What was the last movie you watched at your moms?
-How is (your exs partner's name)? Listen to her answer very carefully.
-Also, ask about life at the sister in laws house. It is possible the problem is there.
Children usually won't tell you up front what is bothering them. You kind of have to drag it out of them.
I hope you work this out very soon for her sake and yours.
2007-04-13 16:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Many Moons 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be a hard thing for you to do at the moment but invite her Mum over just before you take her home & both of you be responsable paents & join forces in trying to settle this little girls heart ache, Her Mummy & Daddy aren't together & she is living away from the family home too...its a lot to lose as a child.
If you both go & seek legal help & show the court that despite your differences you are both looking after the best interests of your little girl. Hopefully your wife may seek to do the right thing once she has seen your little girl in such a distressed state.
Good luck & god bless
2007-04-13 16:15:02 · answer #4 · answered by skippy's mum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say talk to a lawyer get some free legal advice from one that is willing to me id see it as your moore fit than her mother esp since she has commited adultry and is living with a crazy geezer for a partner i dont see why the court even awarded the mother custody in the first place to the mother for thoes reasons i would keep her it sounds like a really scary thing for your lil girl and a bad situation for her obvisously your daughter is not being taken care of properly by your sis in law or sumting there is also free social worker programs avaible that will visit your daughter and what not throught the state
2007-04-13 16:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Honey Badger Doesnt give a Shat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree a difficult one! Yes you need to keep on the side of the law but reassure your daughter that you will always be there for her. Always keep your meetings with her, never let her down and cause her to think that you won't be there. She needs to feel secure so anything you can do to increase her feelings of security will help until the law can help you further. Try explaining to her about going back to her aunties house at the beginning of her visit. Talk through her fears and anxieties as best as she can explain. Listen and be supportive. Always reassure her that you are there and she is safe. All the best. Take care.
2007-04-13 16:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by drcharlieemma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is no court order saying she should stay at your sister in laws, then keep her, you are not breaking any laws. It sounds like she would be better off with you anyway. However, if a judge has ruled she is not to live with you, then you have to send her back or you could get in trouble with the law.
2007-04-13 16:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bit of a tragedy,mate,i would go to court and try and get full custody,if she can't live with her mother she should be with you.Having to forcibly remove a child from her father every week is traumatising,to say the least.
Don't know how the law stands on just keeping her,could be detrimental to your case,be seen as kidnapping,etc.
Good Luck,anyway.
2007-04-13 20:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by picklechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to reassure your daughter and give her all the love she needs and take her back to her family. This will go in your favour at court.if you keep her it wont look good for you.Going through the court is a lenghty process but its the right one.Make sure you also get an interim residence order for your 3 other children.Good luck hun xx
2007-04-14 10:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ems 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give her back, if you aren't the custodial parent.. But, apart from going through court, you should investigate her living situation.. There has to be something going on if she's reacting in that matter... Get the law involved.. Prove that you should be the one she's living with.
2007-04-13 16:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your daughter permanently live with your sister in law whilst your ex wife lives with this man?
If that is the case then I would say, fight for custody. Your wife is putting a man over her child by choosing to live with him when she knows that he cannot be near her children.That is the worst thing a mother should do, her children should come first.
Good luck.
2007-04-13 16:07:11 · answer #11 · answered by Jenni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋