Hi
My 8 years marriage is a living hell ! We have seperated once and reunited but in vain. We have a 6 month old boy. I need to talk to a third party- someone who doesnt know him or me to give a valid and unpartial suggestion to me whether it makes sense to file for divorce. Talking to family and friends is futile since their view is always either biased or partial.
Could you pls help ?
(P.S: Pls refrain from suggesting to going to a counseller or a therapist-Thank you !)
2007-04-13 08:59:01 · 14 answers · asked by rimiwithquestions 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those who suggest that I contact them, pls let me know how to get in touch with you. Thanks!
2007-04-13 09:03:23 · update #1
Also, I would prefer to talk to someone who is/has been married. Someone who knows what it is like to be married.
2007-04-13 09:09:49 · update #2
You can email me. I'm no expert other than being a hubby.
2007-04-13 09:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in a similar situation. Been married for 7 years, two kids and am in hell. We have tried everything form couclining, theripy, vacations...you name it. When it all comes down to the truth...the truth hurts. We have just grown apart. The very things that made us work when we first met are the same things that drive us nuts when we are near each other. She has turned into an anal retentive control freak...and she see's me as a slacker who is way too easy-going to have a pulse.
You say you have no family or friends to talk to...then i would do one of the following
1. Find a support group. Im sure where you live there must be some kind of group of people who have similar problems
2. Church...and even if you are not religous...im not, and yet the few time i have gone ive met people there who are willing and able to listen to any problems you have.
3. if you dont go and get theripy for your marraige....get it for yourself. Its what i did. Helped me more then i will ever know. I know i have a long road ahead of me...but at least i can do it with at least some dignity.
2007-04-13 16:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have to do first, is think about all the things that you want to see changed immediately,( major issues) and then future changes ( minor issues). Take the list to your husband and explain the things you want to see changed, now. Talk with him and let him know that if any of these issues can not be worked on (together), then the only option left is filing for divorce. Listen to him and his reasoning and try to understand his view on this. Allow him to also create his own list and make sure your just as willing to work on his list also (it goes both ways).
You have to be both on the same page and you both should be willing to do anything, to stay together. By stating it's a living hell and you want out, is simple to say and do but be sure your doing it for the right reasons and have tried your best to work things out, first. You separated once and returned but was the issues ever resolved or was it just left on the back burner waiting for the other to fix it.
Communicate, talk things through and set an adequate amount of time for things to get resolved. You both have to be willing to change for the other, if your not up for the challenge then don't stay. Your heart has to be in it too, without it, your fighting a losing battle.
2007-04-13 16:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are but I am old enough and lucky to be on my third wife. My two brothers are still not finish with there first ones yet. I always beat them at everything anyway. When I got custody of my oldest two sons at ages 10 and 12 some 11 years ago due to there mother taken ill. I use to tell them it was cheaper paying child support. But I keep them around because they where useful. All they had to do is smile. I can look back every 5 years for the last twenty years. It was always different. I know in five years things will be different again.
2007-04-13 16:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by red dish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't offer enough information to make any kind of suggestion on something this grave. But since you claim it is a living hell and you are not interested in counseling I'm not sure you are headed anywhere but divorce.
2007-04-13 16:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't really say what the problem is but no matter what happen i think u should give it ur best shot for ur son sake,i don't think it is a good ideal to involve friends or family because it just two of u that is involve in ur marriage,the best advice i can give is to forget about past offense & really open ur heart to have a heart to heart talk,always remember that u saw something in him that made u agree to marry him,pls look for that thing before u make any decision.God bless.
2007-04-13 16:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can email me too. I have been married for 10 years and have 2 children. I think that I can usually look at situations objectively.
2007-04-13 16:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a sounding board and/or objective opinion. If u need help, I am no therapist, but maybe I can help. IM, email
2007-04-13 16:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by swilson_lewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Talk to me if you like. I worry about the child more than you two. Why are you breaking up and separating? who did what?Is there abuse and what kind? What is your age?
2007-04-13 16:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't enough information in your question to make suggestions... But if you'd like, you can e-mail me through Y!A. I promise I will reply.
2007-04-13 16:03:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be glad to listen. I understand your need to talk to someone who knows neither of you.
You can email me through Yahoo answers.
2007-04-13 16:05:51 · answer #11 · answered by Many Moons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋