my wife says no spark in our marriage?

Question

we have been married 7 years and i love her to death.she went out last night and got drunk and kissed a guy twice that is from her work and all her friends were there.she told me about it and i dont know what to do about it.should i tell her she can go out with them agian even if i dont want to. and she was dancing with guys.do you think thats okay.the dancing part.

Answer 1

You're going to have to make a stand of some kind. Your wife is an adult, so she's going to make her own decisions whether she goes out or not, but you shouldn't stay in a marriage where she takes advantage of your trust that way. Let her know that kissing other men is unacceptable behavior; if she does it again, someone needs to pack their bags.

If you're not assertive, she will continue to walk on your emotions and violate your trust--spark or not.

BTW- is the moron who kissed her married? Did HE know she is married? Who initiated the kissing? Does his wife or girlfriend know? Something you may want to look into.

Answer 2

The title of your question begs the question - are you both happy? If you're not, then everything else will snowball and add to the problems. You have to communicate with her and either re-establish your bond or recognize that you've grown apart and move on. I understand this feeling all too well and I would fight for her. Take the time to remember why you fell in love with her and then talk to her. Let her know your pain and frustrations... but also show compassion to what she is going through. Listen to her and do your best to work things out. Once you've done all of this, no matter the outcome, you'll know that you put your heart into it... and she will too. You've already shared 7 years together... wouldn't it be nice if this was the catalyst for 25 years more wonderful than the first 7?

Answer 3

I am so sorry for you. My daughter is doing the same thing to her husband of 12 years. They are getting a divorce. I saw it coming when she started running to the bars for a girls night out once a month almost two years ago. Telling you the spark is gone is her way of living with she wants to be a party girl again. Don't waste your time with the trash. You deserve better than that . She thinks the grass is greener. Move on don't waste any more of your life with such woman. I told my son in law the same thing. My daughter is following in her fathers foots steps. They will all get what the deserve later in life. You can love someone but you can't make them be faithful or give you that love back. I know I tried and so did my son in law for my daughter. I will call my daughter the name she deserve trash.

Answer 4

Something's not right if she's seeking attention outside of the marriage. You need to take her out or offer to go with her at these parties - then when you go, dance with her, show her love and attention, compliment her, and let her enjoy being with you. You also need to share how you feel about it - that you are hurt and what can you do to make sure that doesn't happen again? In her defense, if she was drunk her judgement was down. But she should try to avoid that situation since she knows what could happen now. Maybe by you going out with her or her only hanging out with the girls (no guys from work), that would help?

Answer 5

Maybe she's trying to make you jealous by telling you that! But, no matter what, kissing a guy she works with and dancing with him while intoxicated is not acceptable behavior for a MARRIED woman!!!! If I was you, I'd be wondering how long the office romance has been going on behind your back!!???? Please, do yourself a favor and move on from this cheating spouse of yours, you deserve better! She doesn't have any respect for you or herself or she wouldn't be carrying on as she is! If you allow this to continue, it won't get better! Have some self respect and move on, Good Luck!!

Answer 6

I'm sorry bud, it must hurt pretty bad to have your partner tell you that.

I'm guessing anything you do to accomodate her will just have her see you like a welcome mat to walk all over. If you stand up to her there's a good chance she'll leave you. Which is worse?

Confronted with that choice I think I'd take the pain of losing her over the loss of self respect and trust of knowing she's out there with other guys and no respect to me or our marriage. But it's easy for me to say objectively I'm not in that situation.

Your wife wants to get into other mens pants and go party. It's up to you whether you can live with that, or whether part of love is truely letting go and finding a partner who takes her wedding vows as seriously as you.

Answer 7

I knew a man whos wife started out like that. She cheated on him even brought the guy home kicked the husband out. Had sex with the guy in her husbands home where there kids also lived. She would go out dancing fun nights out with the girls. Your an adult man you must see where all this is headed. Be a man and say no. She is married and as such can't go out dancing and drinking with out you.

Answer 8

forget the dancing part the kissing part is very bad! Its a huge NO NO! She disrespected you in front al lher friends and made you look like a chump. NO! She cant go out again! Why would you let herout again obviously she cant be trusted! If she kissed this guy and was sorry about she should be trying to win back your trust and going out again is not a way of winning back your trust! She has to earn it!

Answer 9

Think maybe you need to get up and do something with your wife. Put a spark in there man, do something out of the oranry. or just take your wife out. No its not ok to kiss the others why you are married gf/bf but sounds as if she is really bored!!!!!

Answer 10

First of all when you have the opportunity to go out, go with your wife both of you have left the single life and should be going out as a couple. Maybe she says you got no spark because you never do anything together.