Why do I feel uncomfortable interacting with mentally handicapped people?

Question

About a year ago, I moved into a high-rise apartment building and over time, I started to notice that a lot of mentally handicapped people live in the same building. I often ride the elevator with many of them, who are truly as nice as friendly as they can be, and it is nearly impossible to avoid them, but at best I can only smile while I think on the inside (Go away, don't talk to me, etc.)

There is one such lady who always talks to everybody and strikes up conversations most of us would deem inappropriate, unless you have a close relationship, which I don't.

The other day, I saw her coming and she saw me trying to hide behind the stairwell door, until she got in the elevator. My husband then scolded me saying that what I did was rude. I couldn't argue from him, because he's right, and I hate myself for having such an attitude toward people who have never harmed me.

Why do have such feelings? How do I get over them?

Does anyone else feel like this? Or am I alone?

Answer 1

i really feel you on this on you dont need to talk to them you dont even have to like them but remember many mentaly handicapped people just want to be normal and to be treated like everyone else and as mean as it may sound if you have to just ignore them like you would anyone else if they talk to you smile and tell them you have somewere to be but be polite

Answer 2

I work with developmentally disabled people, whom I assume you are referring to, and I try to teach them appropriate social skills and how to interact with people in public. I know that some people are put off by them, especially if they ask personal questions. They do not understand social boundaries and social customs. I think the desire to respond better is good and here are some examples:

1. If someone asks personal information, say in a very nice way, "I think that is personal information, don't you? By the way, it is supposed to be a nice day today, I hope you enjoy it." That is a form of redirection of her thoughts. Try to talk about something that is not personal, but just friendly chatter like we might have with anyone else.

2. Another common faux pas that makes people feel uncomfortable is standing too close. The social custom in American is to stand about an arm's length away, if at all possible. If someone stands too close for no known reason, merely say, "I am uncomfortable being so close. Please stand back a little. Thank you." And then make some friendly innocuous chatter, like, "I hear it might rain. Don't get wet."

Answer 3

Yes, I am also uncomfortable around mentally handicapped people and ashamed of it. I think it's because I care too much, and don't want to be seen as feeling sorry for someone with diminished capacities because one day, it just may happen to me too (who knows?) Many mentally challenged people live extremely happy lives, free from the worries of people without such issues. Sometimes I wish I could be deleriously happy with a hot dog and a juice box.

Answer 4

I totally sympathize with your feelings. I too, felt exactly like you. I was, or took, an opportunity to work, through volunteerism, with mentally disabled people. I would suggest it to anyone.
Stepping outside of ones' comfort zone is difficult, be brave. These are some of the most amazing, inspiring people you could ever come to know. You cheat yourself by not extending yourself to them.
I know, people with disabilities would for, God knows what reason, frightened me, I didn't know what to do. Don't worry, most will be sure to tell you...you've never met such such honesty in your life.
I worked with a women at a volunteer organization who we all called Miss Vickie, she was about 50 and had downsyndrome. When she came to the center she always brought her two favourite books - the Bible, and Green Eggs And Ham. She was precious.
Open yourself, step out of your comfort...it's amazing what you will find.

Answer 5

You probably just have never been around mentally handicapped people enough to feel comfortable. Yes, they are often odd, and sometimes say strange things, but you just have to understand that it is due to their limitations.

Maybe you could volunteer at an adult day care and you might come to see these people as the childlike people that they often are. The more you interact with them, the more comfortable you will be. Humor them, smile, and joke they won't bite!

Answer 6

You know that only a curious twist of fate relegated you to the life that others cannot achieve.

You may be embarrassed that you were lucky enough to have been endowed with the accouterments deemed necessary to live a normal and productive life.

We can choose to treat these encounters as opportunities to accept what is and embrace our diverse legacies, rather than shying away from them.

Answer 7

I can understand. It seems like some people naturally interact better with mentally handicapped people--just like some people naturally are better with kids, or elderly people. I'm great with kids, but not with the other two groups. I went to a church when I was growing up that had a large "special ministries" group for people with mental handicaps. I can relate, because I felt uneasy around them, even though they were very nice and I didn't like avoiding them. For me personally, I think what bothered me was that I was never sure what they were going to say or do--I'm the type of person who doesn't feel comfortable in unpredictable social situations.

Don't hate yourself--you're not feeling that way on purpose. If you haven't been around mentally handicapped people in the past, how can you know how to interact with them comfortably? My best advice is not to feel pressured to carry on conversation with them, just like you wouldn't feel pressured to do so with any other stranger. Smiling, saying "hello," and nodding is nice and appropriate. If you feel uncomfortable because they invade your physical space, it's not rude to ask them politely to step back. "Excuse me, could you give me a little more room? Thanks." There's nothing wrong with asking for your personal space, as long as you do it in a polite tone of voice. If the one lady you mentioned wants to talk and ask you personal questions that you don't feel comfortable answering, don't answer them. Ask her about herself instead, since she'd probably enjoy sharing stories with you and that might feel more comfortable.

If after doing these things and trying, you still feel uncomfortable around some of them--you might end up feeling perfectly comfortable with some of them, but not with others--then don't feel guilty about avoiding them politely. Explain to them when they approach you that you're sorry, but you can't talk right now. You can't be expected to get along perfectly with everyone! Talk on your cell phone while in the elevator if you like, to have an excuse for not entering into conversation. Just be polite--that's the only responsibility we have to strangers who aren't really a part of our lives, and that goes for people of any mental capacity (in my opinion).

Answer 8

It's not uncommon to feel this way and sometimes we don't know how to act or what to say to them. But just be yourself and treat them like you would anyone else...that's what they are looking for. For example if that lady tries to talk to you, just say "sorry, I'd love to chat, but I'm in a hurry or I'm having a bad day." That's not rude; you could say that to anybody. The trick here, and it's difficult to do, is we have to look beyond their disabilities and see them like human beings.

Answer 9

Because you're uneasy with something you don't understand.

Answer 10

feeling a little rightious