My husband and I havent had sex in a while!!!?

Question

My husband is a young doctor, so I know he is exhausted everynight he comes home. Before my husband used to be the one that initiates sex, but now I'm usually the one thats initiating sex.....I'm tired too.....I'm spend my days at home with our 3 children....and I'm only 28. I still want to enjoy myself at night. What ways can I get my husband back in hte mood? I want serious answers to this question please.

Answer 1

Greet him at the door wearing only a smile.

Answer 2

SAME HERE! I read some of the other answers and you can't force it! Tried that! Besides, it's because he's tired not because of something that you are or aren't doing. It happens more than you think. I've got a couple of girlfriends that have the same issue with their husbands. My husband works long hours, too and is exhausted by bedtime. It's scary because I'm sure you've been told as I was that he's probably cheating and that doesn't help make you feel better. It's just going to take a whole lot of patience and understanding on your part. I've started sending our kids to church on Wed night with a friend and we have that time together for whatever. Or put in a movie and slip off to the bedroom. Surprising him at work for "lunch" might also be an option. Best of Luck!!

Answer 3

Don't bother trying when he's tired. Get a sitter for the weekend--can either of your parents take the kids for a day? Then, don't go anywhere. If you leave the house he will just be too tired when you get back home. Make yourself up, maybe pop in a steamy movie. You know, wine and dine the guy. Remind him how much fun you have together. You are still young and you deserve to have fun! Show him that the good life doesn't have to end at 28.

Answer 4

First of all, communication is SO important. Have you communicated your thoughts to your husband, or are you assuming that he is just tired. Have you asked your husband what might make the sparks fly.

It is important that you first talk to him. Yes spontaneity is a good thing, but if you are feeling like you are the only one initiating sex, then you should express to him, that you know he works a lot, but you don't want to lose the sparks in your marriage.. Suggest a weekend away, or even a night to yourselves (assuming you can get someone to watch the children)

Pick certain nights out of the week, that no matter what you are going to have some together time.. Even if it is just snuggling in bed, or watching a show together, or looking at pictures of the children or the past.. And on those nights, try to stay connected emotionally.. Even if they are only 15-30 minute moments on those nights...

But remember, communication in a marriage is crucial!

Good luck!

Answer 5

No! He is not cheating on you. He's actually being really supportive. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have only had sex 3 times since I found out at 6 weeks. It's been about 3 months since we've had sex. My husband also feels weird about having sex because the baby is inside me and he doesn't feel right doing it in the presence of our child. Maybe that could be it with your husband too. This is good though because it means he's already developing a paternal bond and wants to protect you guy's child from adult acts (even though the baby will have no clue what is going on.) It's really sweet when you think about it. Don't worry. I know you probably feel out of place in your body being pregnant and I know for me anyway, it makes me insecure. Your husband loves you and only the jerks cheat on their wives when they are pregnant. There are more nice guys out there than jerks so I doubt your husband is one of the few real jerks. You guys will be back to having sex like regular after the baby comes. No worries.

Answer 6

Tell him you are interested in more action. Ask him if there is anything that you could do..either acts, role playing, watching videos...whatever...that would make things more interesting to him. Or just ask him what interests him and be open to hearing and trying to understand. Don't judge him.

The other thing you could do is maybe try at a different time of the day. Maybe he is exhaused in the evenings and evenings just dont' work. Try waking him up extra early in the morning and get some action before the kids get up. He might be more energized after some sleep.

Answer 7

This question has been asked by many different people, many different ways on YA. I have just gone through a similar situation and the best advise here or anywhere is to seriously work on the ROMANCE and stop counting the # of times you've had sex. If you can figure out some ways reintroduce romance into your marriage the rest is easy.

Answer 8

I'm sure he is tired and men don't "work" so well when tired. Try having sex in the mornings instead, that should work if you can get the timing down.

You really need to get away together, find someone to watch the kids for a week and head to Hawaii or somewhere. Give him a day to rest up and then hit it hard and often. Reconnect and remember how it was like.

Answer 9

Give the guy a break. He may be home, but he's not home yet. My wife and I not only have a no sex policy when I get home, there is no talking to me until I get in the door and relax a little. Work can be tough and its even harder for a young man working to support his family. Your're thinking sex he's thinking bills. Why, because he's been thinking work all day. Your job is hard too, but you are home. My wife and I leave the sex for the weekend. I am able to concentrate on her more and spend more time with her before.

Answer 10

Exhaustion can create all kinds of small and big problems in our lives. We start losing interest in enjoying the things we enjoy daily. Spend time with the kids, watch our favorite programs, go out to dinner, you name it. And of course...lack of sexual desired. Once you're tired...hard to encourage yourself and your partner to have sex...it doesn't become pleasant.

You sit down with your husband...alone. You go over the things that are going on. Jot them down in a paper...elimanate certain things that are not necessary. Only do the things that matter the most. Manage your daily schedule. Don't overload yourselves with all kinds of activities. Believe me, it helps. The more time you give to each other...the better your sexual activities will be. Your body reacts according to your emotions. I'm sure your husband knows this...after all...he's a doctor. If you're exhausted and try to have sex...not going to be pleasant. Try practicing some Kama Sutra too...it helps a lot better.

Answer 11

I wouldn't expect too much from him on the days he works. Instead try letting him get as much rest as possible on his day off so you can jump him that night and he should be up for it! My husband is the same way... he works 10+ hour days and by the time we get settled in he's out like a light. It will all start to come back once he gets himself on a roll.