We have joint custody, but when they stay with me, can I go get them tested?
2007-04-13 05:44:41 · 13 answers · asked by jeffrobucsfan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love my kids, I pay my support happily. They will always be my kids. Just thought I have a right to know.
2007-04-13 06:53:15 · update #1
If they are with you, you can get the test done without her consent. However check your divorce decree. There may be mention in that document if you have to let the other know when anything medical related takes place.
2007-04-13 05:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by general.veers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have joint LEGAL custody, then yes you may have your children tested w/o her knowledge or consent. Be mindful, you must have joint LEGAL custody, and have the right to seek and obtain medical care & assistance w/o her consent.
This is a very workable "grey" area, where you best judgement needs to be exercised. If you are doing this to spite her, STOP NOW. If you have GENUINE concerns as to the paternity of these children, by all means get the test. Just be prepared to handle the results maturely. Those kids DID NOT ask to be born and they certainly had no choice in who their parents would be, so take them into consideration when doing all this. They are really the only victims here. If you love these children you best bet is to just accept the past and move forward for your kids. How will they cope if the test says they are not yours? They will hate their mother, lose you and be forced to make even more changes that can devestate them, perhaps forever. There are may things you need to think about before making this choice. Somethings are best left alone.
2007-04-13 13:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. Are you wanting to determine paternity, or are you doing this as kind of a Saftey measure in case of needing to ID them should something tragic happen, pray not.
All you really have to do if its a real hassle just go to a drug store and get a dna test kit.
2007-04-13 12:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to? Does it matter? If they're not actually yours, then what? What are you going to do about it? Are you trying to get out of paying child support or what? Do you not want to share custody of them? If they're not yours it may affect your relationship with them. Better to not worry about it and treat those kids as your own whether they are or not.
2007-04-13 13:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by AnonymousGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have to have your ex's permission, since it's DNA. If you do it behind her back and she finds out it might end up worse for you if you find out that they are both yours. She might file for sole custody and then you wont be able to see them that much. Good luck
2007-04-13 12:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It probably would not make any difference since you were married at the time you had the children.
Contact an attorney and ask that question. I think you would be stepping out of bounds.
2007-04-13 12:48:23 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would be advisable, but why do you want to create such a riff. I mean if you love your children does it really matter if there your blood or someone else's. Both my children are adopted, and I love them very much. It's not who gives them life, but who gives them love. Don't be a shmuck!
2007-04-13 13:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by MARK S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah i think u need to have her approval, however if ur payin child support and u doubt there yours u can go 2 a lawyer and he can order it. i also heard there are sly internet ways of testing paternity but thats probably bullshit.
2007-04-13 12:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. when the kids comes over, just take them with you, and when she finds out, it will be all over with, better to know then not to know....
2007-04-13 13:32:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kas-O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It think you only need one parent's consent, but I'm not positive.
Apparently you don't think they are your's. Do you love them? Are you sure you would want to know?
2007-04-13 12:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋