I have remained friends with my ex since she ended things 3 mths ago.
The relationship was very good, we talked of moving in etc. On 2 occasions, totally out of the blue, she said she was unsure about us. The 1st time, within 3 hrs, she said to ignore it and was feeling down. The 2nd, she got upset and she said she felt she held me back.
When she ended things she was depressed, her Dr prescribed prozac & counselling. She took the meds but refused counselling, said she wasn't depressed & blamed the relationship, ending things. She has since told me she was depressed but it was coincidence.
She also has had:
- Anorexia & Bulimia as a teenager 10 years ago
- Self harmed as a teenager
- She had a 2 year relationship with a woman 4 yrs ago, despite saying she is not bisexual & has said she will never be with a woman again, and never had been before.
Was she just fed up with me? Was depression a factor?
Should I try and help or get her back? I do love her.
2007-04-13 04:21:01 · 8 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have also wondered if she has maybe other major issues?
She also has very low self esteem.
When she raised breaking up she did it at the same time as talking about things we would be doing together in the future.
It is all weird and I don't know what to do both in terms of getting back with her and as a friend??
2007-04-13 04:22:02 · update #1
do what you feel is right there is no real answer here you just have to do what you fill is right best the luck
2007-04-13 04:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by dream theatre 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should only get back together with her if you are willing to help her through all of her bad times. That is also true about being her friend. She has had a hard life and doesn't need someone who will bail when she feels crazy. I have a friend like her and I have always been there, even when she thought she didn't want me to. She is dealing with life a lot better now that there are consistent people in her life that won't abandon her. If you can't handle her you should let her go and never look back. It isn't easy, but whatever you do good luck to both of you.
2007-04-13 04:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's comforting to know I'm not alone! I have just posted my experience on this site and am looking for some independant advice. The question is, are you ready to accept it's all over? I know I'm not.
My view is that if you truly love her, rather than fearing being alone, then ask her how you can work towards a reconciliation. If she asks for space to sort things out, give it her. It will be tough but the alternative will be to drive her further away.
Try not to take advice from male friends, they tend not to understand, better to seek out a mutual, and trustworthy, female friend.
Good luck!
2007-04-15 04:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to step on the sidelines and let her medication kick in and get stabilized.
She's going from one extreme to another and you are being held hostage to her indecisiveness.
You may love her and may want to be with her, but you should also be looking at her mental state now. What if she continues to be like this? Are you willing to stand by her?
She has a lot of problems. Maybe too many. It's your decision if you want to be with her. If I were in your shoes, I would cut my losses and find someone new.
2007-04-13 04:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whew! That sounds like a lot of baggage. I think for your happiness you would be best to let her go and get on with your life. I know you love her but if she stays in your life it sounds like your going to have a lot of drama all the time. I wish you only the best and ultimately your the only one that can make that decision.
2007-04-13 04:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lorrie W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she has just one too many issues. You really can't save her, you know. You have to let her go so she can get herself into counseling. I don't believe that she could realistically handle any type of relationship until she does.
2007-04-13 05:46:55 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said: "I have also wondered if she has maybe other major issues". Do you need other major issues when she already has so many? This girl needs work - I say leave her alone, let her work on herself.
2007-04-13 04:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, she has too many problems and no direction to life. She will drag you down with her if given the chance.
2007-04-13 04:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋