custody emergency?

Question

my friend has recently left her husband, and during his third visit has refused to return the child to the mother and has made motion to gain full custody. Lawyers won't give her a straight answer on whether or not she can remove her child from school as she has not yet been served papers. Can she take back her daughter without fear of being criminally charged at this point?

she has yet to retain a lawyer as of yet, legal aid won't accept applications on fridays. She had been keeping the childs schedule as normal and the father was to drop her off to school and didn't. He's since been denying her access

the child is 5, my friend was trying to ammicable(sp?) but her hubby has decided to play not so nice. Update, she's on her was to the court house to get an emergency hearing before a judge upon duty council advice :D Why a lawyer wouldn't have suggested this is beyond me. The last thing she'd wanted was to fight, but has been backed into a corner

Thanks everyone for their help! Duty council has recommended she go before a judge today and get the bal rolling, then she'll go and pick up her daughter. The school has been notified and has no problem with it. Duty council has also said she'll get a police escort to pick her up if the ex has her at his house. Hopefully after today he'll try harder to be reasonable. And yes, it was an abusive relationship, but not towards the child, he's a recovering alcoholic with a long list of criminal charges including assault on an officer

Answer 1

If the lawers wont give her an answer I would say no. She doesnt want to do anything that might jepordise her case. Wait and do it when she has the law on her side.

Answer 2

you need to get a good lawyer, it comes down to this if she goes to the school the school to remove the child and the school knows about the divorce then they could notify the soon to be ex. then whats to say your friend takes the child and then the next day the dad takes her back, it's just an emotional tug of war over the child. Normally the judge will award physical custody to the mother as long as the mother is fit and the father will have visitation of every weekend or every other, including split holidays or all holidays along with anytime that there is a three day weekend that's the weekend the dad will get with the child. If she doesn't go and get the child she can always tell the judge that her husband took the child and prevented her from seeing it and it looks bad on the husband.

Answer 3

It appears no-one has been granted custody of the child yet - is that right...? If so, both parents have equal rights to the child - mad i know - it`s like first come first served or something ! What your friend needs to do is get a lawyer asap, if she doesn`t have one, and get him to act quickly. If the father has not been given custody of the child, yes she can go ahead and take the child back and nothing will happen. As i said they have equal rights. But this is not good for the child, being taken from one place to another. If the child is safe i would leave her where she is until this is sorted out properly. The fact dad did not return child to mother will not go down well in court - he will appear the irresponsible one - as indeed he is if your friend is a good mother. Just coz he has filed for custody, it doesn`t follow he will get it. His recent behaviour won`t help him.

Answer 4

This is a stickly situation...because the laws are different in each state. But generally, if they are still legally married and there is no custody agreement at this point, then she is still technically considered a legal guardian. As long as he has not contacted the school and had her removed from the list to pick them up, (which most schools will not do without proper paper work) then yes, she can go check them out of school. If he has not filed for permanent custody, then I'd have her do it IMMEDIATELY upon picking up the kids. Just remind her that this is all very traumatic on the kids and to try to stay calm and keep the details away from them!! You did not mention the details of their separation, but if there is any incident of physical abuse, I'd use it to get a restraining order and full temporary custody. If he's the one that left, she can claim abandonment and explain that when he did finally come see the kids that he did not return them!

Answer 5

Well, since nothing has been filed legally in court, she has just as much right to child as dad. Update please - how old is child?

But, this going back and forth is not good for the child, and ground rules need to be set.

Until something is legally in stone with the court, they could play this back and forth game, but for the sake of the child, they need to grow up and be adults, instead of acting like kids themselves.

Sounds like the both of them are only thinking about themselves, instead of the child.

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FOR AMITY S - If there is no legal separation filed with the court - they are both legal guardians of the child, and can both go to school to get the child, at any given time unless SPECIFICALLY stated in custody agreement, both parents can go to the school to get the child, that is a right that cannot be taken away from a parent EVER.

Being a Primary Custodial Parent, only gives that parent the right to decide where the childs primary place of residence, not to take the rights away from the non-custodial parent.

Not trying to be rude, but some of you people need to know a little of your facts, before you give advise to someone, and they do something illegal, or worse.

Answer 6

Yes, no custody agreement has been reached so shared custody is in place. Remember though that the childs welfare is most important. Will she be taking the child to school and back every day?? Or will she keep the child off school so her ex does not do exactly what she is planning to do. The little one isn't a play thing.

Answer 7

She can have access to that child anytime that she wants. He hasn't gained temporary custody of the child yet. She can go to school and pick her child up and there is nothing that can stop her. He can't just take her and refuse to give her back..

Answer 8

what country are u in.in the uk they would pull the child straight back off him hes a recovering alcoholic and there is no custody papers.here he wouldnt have a leg to stand on.she shouldnrt have to wait to get child back.its unsafe child stays with him.but tell her not to snatch child back that will make matters worse.but get it dealt with asap see any lawyer u can FAST

Answer 9

If she has physical custody, yes she can. However, if the child is not in danger, she should wait for the court to make a decision so she does not traumatize the child unnecessarily.

Answer 10

YES- AS LONG AS SHE HAS NOT BEEN SERVED WITH ANY KIND OF PAPERS - SHE CAN LEGALLY GO PICK UP HER DAUGHTER FROM SCHOOL- BUT IF SHE GOES TO THE SCHOOL AND THE PRINCIPAL TRIES TO KEEP HER FROM GETTING HER KID - THEN TELL HER TO ASK THE PRINCIPAL FOR PAPERWORK OR PROOF THAT SHE LEGALLY CANNOT PICK HER UP- BECAUSE THE PRINCIPAL WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHOW HER ANYTHING-BUT THE FATHER MAY HAVE ASK THEM TO NOT LET HER GO WITH ANYONE- BUT LEGALLY CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT IF THE MOTHER INSIST ON IT- SO - BUT ALSO WATCH FOR AN OFFICE EMPLOYEE OR ANYONE THAT MAY SECRETLY CALL THE COPS WHILE YOUR THERE - CAUSE THEN IF THEY SHOW UP - THEY WILL SERVE YOU WITH PAPERS MORE THAN LIKELY- BUT NOT NECESSARILY- IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE BEST IF SOME HOW YOU CAN GET TO YOUR DAUGHTER FIRST- THEN GO TO SIGN HER OUT - CAUSE NORMALLY THEY WONT WANT TO ALARM THE CHILD WITH ANY OF THE PARENTS BULLSHIT SO YEAH LIKE GO TO EAT LUNCH WITH HER THEN TELL HER YOUR GOING TO TAKE HER AND YOU TO THE MOVIES FOR A SPECIAL DAY- THEN SURELY ALL WILL GO WELL- BUT I WOULD NOT HANG OUT AT THE SCHOOL LONG TIME CAUSE DAD HAS PROBABLY ASK THEM NOT TO LET HER GO WITH YOU BUT LEGALLY THEY CANNOT STOP YOU UNLESS THEY HAVE PAPERS THEMSELVES STATING AND SIGNED BY A JUDGE THAT YOU CANNOT GET HER- I PROMISE AS I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MYSELF -IF THE SCHOOL SAYS THEY CANT ALLOW YOU TO GET HER - THEN SAY TO THEM- WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS SIGNED BY A JUDGE STATING THAT ? WHEN THEY DONT SHOW YOU ANY PAPERS- TURN AROUND AND SAY - HAVE A GOOD DAY- YOU CANNOT BE CRIMINALLY CHARGED AND THEY WILL NOT PLAY TUG A WAR WITH YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER- HER BEING IN THE MIDDLE- YOU CAN GO FILE FOR YOURSELF TO GET A TEMPORARY CUSTODY ORDER IN WHICH YOU WILL BE GRANTED UNTIL A COURT DATE IS SET- ESPECIALLY IF YOU CRY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - BUT UNLESS THAT REALLY HAPPENED I WOULD NOT SAY IT DID WHAT EVER STATE YOU LIVE IN - GET ON THE STATE WEB SITE - LOOK UNDER COURT- FORMS-- THEN CUSTODY - AND TADA - YOU WILL FIND WHICH PAPERS YOU NEED TO FILL OUT AND FILE AT THE COURT HOUSE- BUT WHAT IF THE NEXT DAY SHE GOES TO SCHOOL- THE HUSBAND GETS THE KID OUT EARLY- THEN WHAT - YOU CANT KEEP THE KID FROM GOING TO SCHOOL BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN ISSUES THAT WILL NOT LOOK GOOD - SO YOU DEFINATELY WANT TO FILE THIS YOUR SELF AT THE COURT OR GET A LAWYER TO DO IT- SHOOT - REALLY JUST MAKE BACK UP WITH THE DAD UNTIL SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER - THEN PLAN TO LEAVE HIM THEN--- THAT WOULD BETHE SMARTEST THING TO DO I THINK - SAVE MONEY AND GET PREPARED FROM NOW TIL THEN --- WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR KIDS - YOU HAVE TO THINK SMART- THATS WHAT MY DADDY ALWAYS TOLD ME AND HE IS RIGHT-- THINK SMART THINK SMART THINK SMART -- OK- TRUST ME - GO MAKE BACK UP WITH THE DADDY AND PLAN TO LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND- DONT JUST UP AND LEAVE AS THATS NOT THINKING SMART ------