Terror Alert Increased?

Question

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also , the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Devil - Hey go for it. Where do you think I got it from :)

Answer 1

ROFL.
You forgot the American levels of terror alert.

We recently elevated from "Blame America First" to "Blame George W. Bush."
If things continue on their current course we are expected to be at "Blow up our own Buildings" by the end of the month. If all else fail the Department of Defense has enlisted the Rutgers women's basketball team as our last hope. Let's see someone try to put a burka on those nappy heads.

Answer 2

The threat from terrorism may very well have been stepped up a notch here in London, who knows? Few of us seem to be even vaguely aware of it.

As one WW2 veteran said a few months back, "they cannot get us all". He was right, so why try to inject 'panic' into the crowd? Londoner's just don't give a damn.

I know of one WW2 London artist, who during the Blitz spent his time drawing sketches of the Luftwaffe planes overhead, while waiting for the air raid to end.

I've been in a couple of air raids myself, when I was about three. Not very nice but far more spectacular than a ten pound body bomb, that's for sure.

The bomb 'what' blew up the bus went off about a hundred yards from me. Most people around just ignored it. I was driving at the time and just headed north and drove on right out of London and came back home via the M25, which at that time was fast flowing. It got jammed as more joined it later when central London got gridlocked. Blimey! That was the 7/7 event.

The terrorist threat comes from within and is very unlikely to come in a truck load. Well, hope not. I mean, the IRA managed a truck load or two here in London and Birmingham and N.Ireland etc. Who knows anyway?

Answer 3

The problem with this conclusion is that it is completely unsupported by anything other than Tom Ridge's assertion. I am not saying that it is false, just merely unsupported. In order to raise the threat level a consensus from several council members was required. These council members included the likes of Sec State, FBI Director, CIA Director, Attorney General, Sec Def etc. Now I know all of these were Bush appointees, but so to was Ridge. What I have seen about Ridge is that he does appear to have a political axe to grind. Often complaining that his recommendations were not followed on a variety of issues including nomination of other political appointees. In one instance he claimed that the threat level was ordered raised on what even he considered credible intelligence, but he did not want to do it. Stating that it would cost local municipalities money to implement the security procedures required. Of course you are free to believe whomever you choose to believe, but in my opinion Ridge has a personal stake in sensationalizing this because he is now peddling a book. Without some corroborating support for his position I have a hard time classifying it is anything more than political disagreement and cannot legitimately support a claim of conspiracy. Edit: I should also point out that I always thought the color coded terror threat level was useless anyway. For those it didn't unnecessarily frighten, it desensitized to the potential threats which exist.

Answer 4

Lovely post.

Just FYI, Norway recently heightened theirs from "We Admire the Swiss So Much" to "We Really Wanna be Neutral, Too". They have two additional levels: "Okay, But You Can Only Use Our Roads," and "Now's a Good Time to Stick our Heads in the Sand."

Answer 5

That would make a great Monty Python Skit.

Don't forget the Japanese have raised it from Alert level SkinnyElvis to Alert level FatElvis.

Answer 6

England thinks terror is nothing to fear. Have they forrgoten 9/11. And the London Bombings have they

Answer 7

Yeah, and the Americans have raised their security level from "Friendly Fire" to "Kill Everybody".

Answer 8

Im laughing out loud here..!
Your a funny MF.

Answer 9

a lovely Pythonic start to the day

Anyone have a problem with my little scheme of marching up and down the square?

Answer 10

You rock! Busting a gut right now!

What about Norway? You gotta come up with one for them . . .