do i have to believe my husband?

Question

3 months ago,he cheated me. they broke up and now his telling me that he will never do that again.

Answer 1

He has to earn your trust now........But you will always probably have that nagging suspicion....until he does that.
good luck

Answer 2

I don't know the entire situation here but it is possible that he will never cheat again. It is possible that he will again. What were his reasons for cheating in the first place? Is he just out a place to stay right now?

Again I must say... Marriage is for those who can love eachother unconditionally, for the mature, for the honest and there is no room for jealousy and communication is part of the whole, if you have these things love can withstand any obsticals and any illusions and trust is there. But both must have the will and have the desire to want a lasting relationship -you can start off by syaing o.k. this is what we'll do but if one of you lacks the giving of these things you are back the square one. Good luck!

Answer 3

I've been through this with some friends of mine where the husband cheated on the wife. There were a ton of reasons why he cheated and of course they weren't good ones, they never are, but the way he made up for it and they're still married (with some consequences) is he never went out, stayed home, helped with the kids, helped in the house and all of that. They used to argue perfusouly, and he'd leave and do whatever...but here's the thing, it's been two years now, and she's not over it, no matter how much he's proven to her otherwise, she's emotionally not over it and refuses to go get help. I've honestly had to cut my ties from her because when we talk she complains and whines for hours and looks to me for answeres that I cannot provide.

So yes, it can work, but not without a lot of help and communication and proven actions on both parts. To this day she and I don't talk simply because I won't. He and I are still good friends (we used to work together). But the key thing here is also, she's an enabler, so being on the outside of their relationship looking in, that's created a lot of problems that didn't need to be there. Good luck!!

Answer 4

No. He will probably cheat again. You have two choices. Move on without him or live with him knowing he will probably lie and cheat again. Can you live with that. If you give him another shot at it start filling up your piggybank because he will need it when you are on your own. Why dont you tell him he doesnt have to sneak around because you want to play the game too so why don't both of you go out looking for a date and see how he feels about that! What about that gorgeous guy that you sometimes see on the bus. Do you think he would mind if you asked him if he would like your number?????????

Answer 5

Well, you probably will take a long time to ever believe anything he says.
If you love him still, though, and want to make your marriage work, he will have to BE trustworthy from this point on. Give him the opportunity to be a decent husband, if you have the will to do so. It will take effort on both your parts to make your marriage work.
Don't let him make you feel bad because you don't trust him, he 'earned' your mistrust. Now He must earn your trust back.
I can't tell you he will never do it again, only your husband and God above knows that. I say put your trust in God, He will keep it safe. I'm not saying this will make your husband always true to you, but it will make you strong enough to do what you have to in the days and months and years ahead.

Answer 6

Unfortunately only you can answer if you should believe him or not. You know what's in your heart. Only you can say if your marriage is worth saving or not. He has to understand though at first it's going to be hard for you to trust him and if he's not willing to give you the time to get beyond it then he needs to be honest and leave. Even if you do decide to stay and make your marriage work, it's going to take time and both of you need to work on it or let it go. You have to work on forgiving but not necessarily forgetting. Ask yourself months or years down the line when you get into an argument with him will you bring this up and throw it in his face? If the answer is yes then perhaps you should consider counseling or just leaving. Right now, when he not with you or he answers his cell phone your mind is going to wonder what he's doing or who's he talking to.

Take time to think about what you want and what will benefit you best. That's your answer. Never mind what others will say, others aren't living your life nor do they walk in your shoes. I wish you the best in whatever choice you make.

Answer 7

No you do not have to believe him.
I don't believe my husband. And he didn't leave me for the girl. But he talked to her on the phone and confided in her. It is hard for me to buy his bull crap excuses now. Like when he is late getting home from work.
I check his cell phone for new names and numbers etc., while he is in the shower so that we don't have to argue about it. I love him and I want things to work out for the two of us but once they have done this it is hard to go back to normal.
It is really hard to completely trust where they are and what they are doing.
I am like ok. Be careful I love you and I am really thinking, who is he going to see. Or his cell phone rings and its iin unrestricted and I answer they hang up I get suspicious.

Just know that whatever you decide. You be sure to let him know that it will be a while before you completely trust him again. And that if he is ever caught doing it again you won't be held responsible for your actions. And that she can have him and a quarter because you are going to take everything else.

Answer 8

1st of all trust is something to be earnt, he cant expect you to forgive him and pretend it never happened. You have to set out some ground rules so he can start earning your trust back again. It will take some time for you to forgive him no doubt, so dont rush things and go at your own speed, maybe a holiday might help, so you can concentrate on each other instead of everyday life. Then its for you to decide if you really want to make a go of things, and if you trust him enough to carry on with your marriage.I hope you get on ok x

Answer 9

I guy can change, but I don't think in a 3month period. You ever bothering to ask shows that a part of you wants to believe him. I understand it’s hard but please if you want to forgive him don't let him get away with it so easy. 3months is in my opinion enough time. Let him know there are consequences, that you no longer trust him and have no reason to trust him. Cheating is a big boo-boo and guys just expect for us to forgive them and forget about it. They are willing to cheat but not willing to accept the consequences. Make him earn his trust again.


I can only imagine what you’re going through.
Good Luck and you will be in my prayers tonight

PS I like what Momof3 said "Don't fall for that, value your self worth".

Answer 10

No! I know a relationship where the guy lied to his wife 2 times that he broke up with his girlfriend...and each time he said so, he was still with her...he still is cheating on her with the same woman!

You either learn to put up with the lies, or get out of there!

Answer 11

Totally up to you and your situation.
Once a cheater, always a cheater - and it is true. No matter what they say.
When he tells you he has to work late - are you going to believe him - no questions asked?
When he tells you he has an out of town business trip - are you going to believe him or follow him?
You will always wonder for the rest of your married life w/ him if he's telling the truth.
I couldn't handle that.
I would get out - you have all the reasons to.