Gay people: How old were you when you came out? Straight people: Do you think there's an age limit?

Question

I was 12 years old when I first started to think maybe there was something different about myself. I finally came out when I was 14. My parents were very understanding and supportive. I am now 19.
Gay and bi guys and girls - are you out? If so when did you come out?
Straight guys and girls - do you think there's suh a thing as being too young or old to know what sexuality you are? If you do, at what age did you know for sure you were straight?
There's no right or wrong answer, I'm just curious as to what people think. :)

Answer 1

hi, I am a straight woman interested in your question. As a mother I would have to say I dont think there is such a thing as being too young or old to know your sexuality, its such an individual thing,some people seem to know from very young where their preference is, others only realise well into adulthood. I personally think the most important thing is for all children to feel safe and protected and loved whilst they work through these matters of their identity, that would be wonderful.

Answer 2

I was about 10 years old when I first felt attracted to women, and I was 13 or 14 when I came out.

Everyone around me (teachers, parents, some friends) said I was too young to know and I should have waited a few more years before I labelled myself. They all called it a phase.

Interestingly, when I was about 17 I suddenly started fancying men as well as women. I was worried that they were all right and that I'd labelled myself too quickly.

So, I would say that there isn't an age limit on knowing how you feel - but perhaps we are *always* too young to say for SURE that we are straight, gay or bi.

I think you never know how you are going to feel in the future or who you are going to meet - you should just go with what you feel right now, and if you want to call yourself gay, bi or straight, then that is fine!

xx Emmie

Answer 3

I started to get these feelings when I first started puberty, around 13/14 and it took me a long time to figure everything out, deciding if I was only Bisexual or full out gay. I came out of the college at the age of 18 and was welcomed with accepting arms from both my parents and the surrounding community, lost some friendships though but made better ones. One thing that confuses me is that there seems to be more and more people comming out at younger ages then back when this was so "forbidden, I respect that and wish you all the best of luck. Just part of me that thinks that is to young to know that you are this way or not, your only 12/13/14. Good Luck everyone.

Answer 4

It was something i'd known since I was about 10 or 11 - the fact that I loved Kylie more than Jason kind of made me realise I wasn't heterosexual! Close family too also questioned my facination with Kylie and my request of going to an all girls school - but it was only when I found myself in a relationship with my neighbour that I finally came out the closet at 25! Friends and family had guessed we were together already but didn't want to face the prospect of me being gay or bisexual.. and yes, it hasn't been an easy ride either. Having a four year old daughter from a past relationship has been a strain too, especially as I've had alot of stick from her father (who already had an idea I was). Over time, family and friends have got used to me being with another woman, but it's still a taboo subject for my mum who doesn't want some people to know. I've realised i've spent alot of my life trying to please others but it really hasn't got me anywhere. Now days, I just try and please myself..

Answer 5

I knew i was "different" at a young age but didn't know what that was until I was in comprehensive school and realised what gay actually was.

2 friends of mine pushed me into coming out at 19 and I wasn't ready. I had a lot going on in my head and was actually quite homophobic at the time. I only really began to feel comfortable with who I was in my late 20's.

Earlier than that I rembember feeling ashamed at myself for being gay and really didn't want it to be like that. While in school I though if I went around snogging girls the feelings go. It didn't work out that way.

Although now I'm totally happy, would I do it again the same way? No but too late for that now.

Answer 6

First of all, I think your great for being brave enough to come out at an early age. Good for you!
I had more crushes on boys than I did on girls, when I was very young, but I didn't come out to anyone (much less my family) until much later. Some of my close friends, I told when I was about 16-17. As for my family, I was 22-23 when I came out. One night I just got really drunk off of Capt. Morgan and Diet Coke and called everyone I knew, and delivered the news. Thankfully, they all were very understanding and supportive.

Over ten birds with one stone, I guess.

Answer 7

Whether you're straight, gay or bi depends on what sex you're interested in, right? I would imagine that most people have that pretty much figured out by the time they're in their late teens/early 20s or something. Though there's no particular reason why that couldn't change later in life; there's also no reason for that not to change. I don't know. I'm like you: it would be interesting to know what other people think.

Answer 8

im straight but have quite a few friends who are gay or lesbian and we've had this discussion before.personally i just new i was straight never fancied other girls never looked at them in that way.my gay mates have all told me different ages when they realised they where gay and came out ranging from 10 to 30 as not all there parents where understanding.so to answer your q.s no i dont think there is an age limit just think it an individual thing.

Answer 9

I was about 10 years old when I first came out and realised I was different from other people it was perhaps a little later when I realised I was gay but have never regretted the fact that I was gay in particular now that I have met my present partner and fallen deeply in love with him

Answer 10

thats good that you had supportive parents
most don't
and i was 15 when I came out to everyone at skool then family then I got kicked out and had to live in foster homes. It wasn't that bad since I had gay parents in one house.
then I moved on my own at 16 and woke up to the deeper reality of life started rave hopping and drug experimentation
So I figure if you have supportive family then everything is good. I am now in a state of complete satisfaction with my family. So everything is peachy I guess