he says thats why he goes on myspace to tell other girls that he loves them. i hate it so bad i want to rip my hair out sometimes.... how do you deal with this? im trying to keep our marriage lasting but im starting to disconnect when he wants affection... what do you think?
2007-04-11 20:04:53 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have a 1 month old son and i still dont know how it would turn out without his father being involved with me
2007-04-11 20:55:14 · update #1
The fact that you are failing him in the "affection" department doesn't give him the right to fail you in the "faithfulness" department. You both have work to do with your coping mechanisms otherwise you'll lose your relationship. I'd mention that to him and try to work in a healthier direction. Lead him by example by giving him attention for a reasonable period of time and see if he follows you by being loyal to you or he takes advantage of your good intentions. That would answer the important question of whether to stay in the relationship or to leave him.
2007-04-11 20:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by F A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mrs SunShyne!
Give him affection..not only physically but affection in word and deed.. Meaning, some men will shut down IF a woman nags or even ignores his emotional side.
As humans we all have needs. Affection comes from emotional comfort. Since he feels that you are not providing it.. it appears that he is looking for it on MYSPACE how sad..
Or is he using this MYSPACE as a cop-out or excuse to be on-line instead of getting busy with you.
O.K. Shyne.. Here is the deal..before he falls for a girl on MYSPACE, change the environment.
Stop, talk and ask him what does affection mean to him and what would he like for you to do. It's quite obvious that you have neglected him in some areas and so the computer has become is solace.
Gotta change this... Ask him what is it that MYSPACE is offering that you are not.
Before U pull your hair OUT. Get it together. Give him conversation, talk to him, listen to him and then show him who you are as his wife.. Remember sex is the by-product of affection. Be there for him and begin to make necessary time for him.. He needs you too.. Pamper you and then pamper him..
Girl, he is your man.. And before U loose him to a MYSPACE girl, get him back.. and now!!!
2007-04-12 03:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by KeraniBai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be too affectionate eithe if I were you. You give what you get and vise versa, you can't be the only one giving in a relationship. He needs that attention from other women regardless of what you are doing. He is blaming you so that it isn't his fault, but don't be blind, it IS him... not you! He may not actually love those women, but it is a compultion to hear "I love you" back from more then one person. Especially if he feels he isn't that attractive such as over weight maybe. Then even if he is a greek god, there is the vainity issue he may have with himself that causes this. I have seen it a lot with men and women on the internet. People aren't even looking to cheat (although that could happen) they just want to hear those three words. No matter what the person really looks like on the other end of the computer, meaningless even... it is a compulion and I think he needs help. It seems to me that you deserve better! I wouldn't put up with it personally.
2007-04-12 03:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by SpoiledBrat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I wouldnt show him any affection either if he is on myspace spreading "THE LOVE". Its just an excuse to cheat and be a slut. If you are disconnecting from him then you have a good reason. If he cant come to you like a man and be honest with you about his real needs then I would leave. You cant be the only one holding the relationship together, its not fair to you. Let him have them Myspace sluts.
2007-04-12 03:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are with a silly, immature, self centered, uncaring, disrespectful man-- Clearly spell it out for him--you do not appreciate the other girls and you will not tolerate or increase you affection until he grows up and shows you some respect and dignity. It is not your fault. It is clearly a problem with a man that is not for you---you can try but he is not making the marriage very nice.. better just take a hammer to the computer.
2007-04-12 03:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe because you have just gotten past your pregnancy and you have a 1 month old. Do you still have the desire to give or receive affection?
Still not a reason for him to go off on line to look for it. Some people have post-partum depression after a pregnancy and feel they dont look or act as attractive or want to have anything to do with the affection. If this continues i would see a therapist. good luck
2007-04-12 11:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know why he feels that way!
Ok, think about this. In comparison to when you net, how often do you do it? Sex? How often? is the sex forced? By you or him? Do you enjoy the sex? Does he?
You two are done. You said you are disconnected when he wants "it." You are out of the relationship.
If he wants it, what do you get in return? Does he talk to you? Listen to you? Hug you? Kiss you? Romance you?
Well, you need to answer your position of where you belong in this. Sex is important, but not the only thing. Emotions run high and need to be take care of also.
I hope you the best.
2007-04-12 03:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by javarick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is so pathetic. But if he tells the true about you not giving him eanough affection then why not to give him some, well that if you still loves him. It makes no sense to keep a marriage if you don't like to show some affection for your partner.
2007-04-12 03:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you would feel distant when he wants affection! He should be telling YOU he loves YOU...not strangers (and possibly minors) or My Space. Tell him he gets the same affection from you that you get from him...then threaten to start your own My Space account "because you need to tell guys you love them"...he won't like it and neither should you when he's doing it!!!
2007-04-12 03:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, being that me & my bf just split over chatting with other girls - I'd ask him 1) What do you mean by affection? and 2) How can you ask it from me when you're asking for it from other women online?
In my experiences, "affection" usually means laying on your back or giving head, and it's BS. If you want your marraige to last, he needs to stop talking to other women. If he's not going to stop, divorce his @ss.
2007-04-12 03:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by melissa_53105 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋