A close friend recently divorced her husband due to his infidelity. Only 3 weeks later he married his mistress. Their local pastor married the new couple and now my friend wants to leave the church. The new couple are no longer members BUT my friend feels betrayed by all involved.
Was the pastor wrong in marrying the couple.. He explained to my friend that he and the gentleman have been friends for over 30 years and that he believes that God would want them to be married... less they live in the sinful manner? (Adultery)
My friend is planning to leave the congregation because she feels that the pastor should not have gotten involved and should have NOT married the couple.
What are your views.. Only God can judge this situation, right?.. How would Jesus handle this? Who is at fault - if any? Is man being too judgmental.
2007-04-11 19:55:39 · 16 answers · asked by KeraniBai 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To be honest I share the anger with you! The minister should of have taken the time to sewn the relationship back together or at least try too! If the pastor was really friends with him, he would of been supportive of his first marriage.
This was total betrayal not only against her, but also against the congregation. He sent the wrong message to his congregation, and it is a matter whether she wants to continue to remain there, because he suppose to be the minister for her as well.
I will keep her in my prayers and any decision she makes I would ask God to be with her. I pray that she will find a very good Christian man in her life.
God Bless
2007-04-11 20:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not the pastor's business to look inside the relationships and to guess or understand what's going on. They were divorced and they are both free to merry and manage their own personal life. Pastor hasn't got anything to do with it.
And to leave the church because pastor married them it means she doesn't appreciate Jesus and involves HIM and church with her personal life. It's not mature and it's not a Christian way to walk!
We can't blame others for our problems or mistakes.
Judgment is not our job, it’s God’s job, we have to leave it for HIM.
Help ur friend to come out of a depression, be next to her all the time. Better to pray for strength and forgiveness for the silly ideas traveling in our head when we are angry.
U were asking how Jesus handle this!
After all suffer Jesus had, after all the betrayal he had…even on the cross he was praying for people who betrayed him and was asking forgiveness for them. That’s what Jesus did.
Good luck to ur friend.
2007-04-12 03:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Panther 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A story among a zillion others. I keep repeating that a institutional church and your faith and believes are not the same. Of cause the behavior of this pastor is totally hypocritical and unethical, but senseless as well (his 'friend' don't even care to remain in his community...)
Your friend should make her point before searching for a church where she can worship her believes with trust in it's representative, where she will feel protected and respected, if this pastor doesn't apologize publicly...
because he disrespected what he preaches, so it's a conflict that the entire community is concerned about!?
I send my regards to the both of you.
2007-04-12 03:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lucas 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she is feeling betrayed by the messenger (her Pastor), she will not be getting the message (the word of God). Best to find another congregation where she will have trust in the pastor.
2007-04-12 03:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jesus cannot stop ppl to love each other right? Nor the pastor.
What you can tell your frd that this is a blessing for her as at least she knw that the guy is not worth to be by her side till she old. Is a matter of time.. so now is time to let go and forget everything and carry on with her new life. Don't blame anyone as this will not do her any good.
As a frd , you shld help her to carry on her life ahead and let her forget the past. Always thik positive .
Im was in the same boat as your frd and it might feel hurt at the begining but think back is a blessing to me cuz i feel that i knw that he is not the right one for me to live n die together.
Jesus will bless her..amen
2007-04-12 03:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pastor had no reasons not to marry them, unless one of them was still married. Pastor is not supposed to judge or question anyone's decisions.
Your friend's feelings and decision to leave them all is understandeable.
2007-04-12 03:00:19 · answer #6 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she should do what makes her feel better. If leaving a congregation that obviously turned their back on her makes her feel better then let her do it and support her every step of the way!! Good friends are hard to find so stick it out with her! love jen
2007-04-12 03:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by jennifer y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend has to step way back and realise that life is going to go on normally whether she wants it to or not.
She is obviously upset and wants everyone to sympathise and take her side, however she may wind up very surprised and hurt to find out this may not happen.
BTW, if there is a god then why would he judge something like this... surely he's busy with more important things, like smiting poor and hungry people with famine, earthquakes and tsunamis.... this gives the evangelists something to do so they quit bothering him.
2007-04-12 03:11:19 · answer #8 · answered by Ratsoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well technically if the pastor had refused to marry the couple he would have been getting involved. By marrying them he remainded nuetral and non judgemental!
2007-04-12 03:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by sick-o'-yo-sh** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the friend should leave the congregation if she feels betrayed.. the minister was not very understanding.. divorced people still are living in adultery even after marriage..so thats what i have been told before.
2007-04-12 03:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋