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I've been married to my husband for 7 years, and for the nine years that we've been together he has been my best and pretty much only friend. I have a girl friend who I've known since high school but she's only really looked at me as a back up friend and never has invited my husband and I to join her and whomever she's with at the time for drinks/dinner/etc... Even though we've invited her numerous times (she and her date do come, but never reciprocate). My husband has aquaintances that he socializes with at occasional sporting events but that's all. We are happy though and very much in love. In fact, I enjoy doing everything with him and he feels the same way. But I can't help but wonder if we're doing something wrong here. Like it's unhealthy not to have other friends. I'm shy anyway and although my husband is more outgoing he's never really made any true friends since he moved here nine years ago--except for me of course. Any thoughts?

2007-04-11 19:29:17 · 19 answers · asked by lookforlight 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

19 answers

For awhile, but............I've never know any one person to meet all my needs, and never heard of it anywhere else, either.

Another thing, think of all those people that need someone like you as an example, (loving, stable relationship).

Just be aware when people try to get to know you.


Enjoy

2007-04-11 19:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0 0

Same boat here! My husband and I are in our mid 20's we have 5 kids though so that may be the difference. It is not "bad or unhealthy" but it can leave you wanting more. Not because you aren't happy with the time you spend together, but because as humans we crave interaction with others. Its hard to get out and meet people that have the same interests as you especially when you have been this way for so long (speaking from experience) Maybe you could join a group out on the net of people that live near you and then when you and your husband felt comfortable you could meet them in real life? Or join a dance class, or something you wouldn't normally do, take a chance and just see what happens, at the very least you are broadening your horizons. Have a great time!

2007-04-11 19:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by Raven 2 · 0 0

If you are content then there is nothing wrong. Seeing as you posted this question makes me think that you aren't quite too content though. Maybe a little resentment towards your high school friend?

A good way to make friends is in neighbors, family members and in-laws, church and/or support groups or even co-workers. It doesn't take much to offer your number to someone you strike up a good conversation with. For example, I had the cable guy come over to hook up my HD and my husband and I are new to the area, he shared with me that he shares a lot of the same interests as my husband and we exchanged phone numbers after having a small chat. He has a fiance and is close to my husband's age. I am a social butterfly though, I am not shy at all. I hope this helps a little. :)

2007-04-11 19:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by SpoiledBrat 2 · 1 0

I think it is fine if you are both happy and all then great. My wife and I are very similar we spend time with family and
just enjoy spending time together as a couple married almost 8yrs no real close friends. I would however recommend you go out once in awhile out on the town and just mingle and socialize it is good for the mind to talk to other people. I do mean as a couple of course and no flirting allowed. Really though if you have stuff you do as a couple and your both happy then what does it really matter what others think.

God Bless and Best Wishes to many more happy married years.

2007-04-11 19:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1 0

My husband and I are like the two of you - we love spending time together as a couple, in fact that family time is precious, because there is little of it. When we do socialize, it's mostly with extended family. I don't think there's anything wrong with it - after all, what could be better than living with and being married to your best friend?

2007-04-11 20:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0 0

It's very taxing on the relationship. You need outside contact with other people. Sooner of later, they are going to be eating at eachother for the smallest things.

You're not doing anything wrong. A couple needs to have other people to talk to, even if it's about relationship problems. I can't begin to tell you how many times my close friends have saved my relationship from falling apart.

You also need to release frustration and stress to different people. If both people are constantly venting at eachother, they will kill eachother!!! It's ok to give a shoulder to rest on once in a while, but don't carry the whole mountain.

2007-04-11 19:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by Real-Estate Guru 1 · 0 0

You know, my wife and I were having the very same discussion the other day. We have very little company, nor do we socialize often other than in the workplace, and we don't feel that we're missing anything. That speaks volumes for the completeness of a relationship. Maybe the people who make you feel unhealthy about this have some serious voids in theirs.

2007-04-11 19:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by jesus_chrysler 2 · 0 0

My partner and i are exactly the same and we've asked ourselves if this is normal! But he works alot i study and we get to come home and spend time with each other not worrying about going out and stuff. It's perfectly normal, you have more trust and faith in each other from being around each other so much although this can lead to more arguements than most couples with buzzing social lives it also makes you stronger and you and your husband seem to be very much in love

2007-04-11 19:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

There are times when you would like to have someone else to talk and confide in other than each other but then sometimes its best not have too much friends as they sometimes ruin what you have as a great relationship. But what about kids ?? Do you have any they are good companions too or is there family members who you both are close to and what is his take on the issue.

For what it is worth continue enjoying each others company.

2007-04-11 19:37:09 · answer #9 · answered by Pebbles 3 · 1 0

Why create a problem where there isn't one? Friends are not something people HAVE to have to be happy! Friends are a lot of work like any relationship, and sometimes can be detrimental to a marriage. If you and hubby are happy as it is, please don't go looking for answers when there aren't any problems to ask about! Stay happy - you are blessed - many out there don't even have what you have.

2007-04-11 19:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1 0

How Sad, You need to get out and make some friends, My Girlfriends and I catch up every week, have a coffee and talk, my best friend and i talk everyday, 50 times a day, and if im not up there she is over here and our husbands and kids are good friends, id be lost without her to talk to, even though my husband and i talk about everything and i can tell him anything, you still need girlfriends to talk to, do you work, go to an aerobics class, mates and there wives over for dinner or something, get out there and stop being so lonley....good luck

2007-04-11 19:40:27 · answer #11 · answered by mumma_of_4 2 · 0 2

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