i had an arranged marrage my husband left me once he came out to america..ive been looking for someone to spend my life with but when they find out i was married they look the other way. why is this
2007-04-11 19:08:54 · 17 answers · asked by jeeven0 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have lived in America with your husband, & must have seen many people getting divorced & remarried there. But in India after your divorce you find it difficult to get remarried. O.K. Like Cadbury here has pointed out reasons for not getting remarried so easily, this girl has the same problem & was even looking for leaving the social world & become religious but I advised her in my reply that she should have self confidence in herself, believe in her abilities & look out for a suitable match for getting remarried. You can see her question & my reply to her question. So I will advice you too. In India the concept of getting divorce is not as prominent as in western countries, there a couple goes for divorce on petty matters but here the grounds are very tough & really difficult to be proved in the court. The only ground which is simplest is divorce on mutual consent, where no evidence as such is required by the parties. So in case a lady gets divorce from her husband on any of the grounds it is the physiology of the new man to see on what grounds this lady got divorce? Was this ground such that he may also face similar problems in his future with this lady or not. All this gives a doubt about the divorcee lady & hence he looks the other way. If he himself is a divorcee he may consider such a proposal but if he is not a divorcee but only unmarried man he would like to go in for an unmarried girl for marriage. Even the divorcee if got divorce from their first wife for same or similar grounds as this lady will always avoid her as no one wants re-happening of such incidences in their life. It is a fact that we may have become very advanced in our technology structure but our matrimonial structure that is being follow in our country is still centuries old, for this reason you see the occurrence of such issues like dowry etc that although have been made offences punishable with imprisonment but do take place in our society. It’s not only the groom side which demands but even the bride side that come out & offer such dowry of their own. I am not telling anything wrong here, only recently the High Court of Delhi had held parents of the bride guilty of giving dowry to their daughter for which the groom & her parents never demanded, so you see all such issues in Indian society are root cause of all the matrimonial problems whether before or after marriage. I have nothing to say regarding whose fault it is but what is sure we the people of India are the real culprit for all these matrimonial issues. I have been giving reply in this forum for the last few months, guiding every one regarding the matrimonial laws applicable to Indians, & even replying to many members who write to me directly, my observation to all this is that we make a big issue about our matrimonial life starting from small bickering amongst the couple which ultimately leads to divorce. Don't think that it is always easy for a divorced man to get remarried so easily as the same problem he face as you are facing. Best course for you to do is concentrate towards a professional or job career now & with the passage of time you will meet a suitable match who can be your life partner throughout your life. Best of Luck.
2007-04-11 20:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Our society though technically educated by Degree and Diploma but culturaly not educated ans till two day most of the Hindi belt besides Punjab girl child is being treated badly.
You are one of the victim.
Nobody can help unless you get properly educated person to marry you.
Till today all the Indian parents want that their son will be doctor or enigneer or scientist ir IT professional nobody wants my son will be real man with all qualities.
2007-04-12 02:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by Gobinda Lal T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur having another option, u can marry another person or a man who had a failure 1st marriage, thats Ok in the indian culture. But if u dont want a man who had shared a marriage life and want a fresh candiate in ur life then it is diffult cause when u tell them that ur married they think u have some problem. then other think is that love marriage but dont be desperate and fall in love with anyone u see is handsome, take ur time and fall in love with a understanding person who cares for u, if u think time is running out and u want a man in ur life, search internets and follow my first option and start a new life, but ur having time of 1 or 2 years, then take slow and fall in love with a man who understands u and make him fall in love with him.
Good Luck !
2007-04-12 07:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Rizwan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must watch Babul starrin Amithabh and Rani and you will really come to know the indian mentality. It's a real eye opener for our indian tradition and culture but people here are broad minded but aurthodox frminside it will take years to come out of their old age thinkings. I pray for you may some one come up and accept you as you are.All the best!!!!!!!
2007-04-12 02:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by naina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel u should not hurry for ur second marriage. U should wait for sometime, enjoy ur life, and in the meantime u may get a partner who will luv u despite the fact that u are married. just pray to god. Be happy.
2007-04-12 02:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by kashifunnisa k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its just the way indian culture is. I guess society thinks that something must be wrong with you just cuz your husband left you. its the sad truth and you know how gullible society is. but i'm sure you'll find someone good enough. ju should try love marriage this time and the guy that likes you despite knowing the fact about your first marriage is truly genuine.
2007-04-12 02:15:54 · answer #6 · answered by SWEETME 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Coz they think there's something wrong with you, for your first husband to have left you.. Never made much sense to me but people are weird. Best of luck, I hope you find a worthy life partner.
2007-04-12 02:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by Weird.Beryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello dear i m also in same situation as you are only our culture and thinking of " We live once, die once and married only once" makes us not to get married second time the main reason is we are very emotional and we only think about our society and community at first we did not preffered our feelings , emotions and identity . thirdly due to our first experience we got afraid of getting married again. so please don't loose yours hope do be leave in god
best of luck!
2007-04-12 02:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by cadbury_rm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last I knew, virginity was highly desirable in the Indian community. If you've been married before, you obviously aren't.
2007-04-12 06:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You search in your categories. You find your mistake and change your attitude.
One can not clap with one hand, Forget what misdeed your husband has done with you, Find where you went wrong.
You will get suitable man very soon.
2007-04-12 02:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by amarkantjha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋