mother of 2, sexually unwanted?

Question

I'm a mother of 2 boys. I'm 24.

I was told I am "used", "abused", and insecure. No guy would ever want me because of those factors.

My "husband" told me that during an arguement. I feel depressed still very depressed and disgusted with myself... it's been a week or so since but I can't get it out of my head.

Advice?

yes thats my pic....

my ex from 15-22 was evil and abusive he thinks he saved me from him when he is no better himself in some ways....

Answer 1

Typical fashion for you to strike out and turn simple things into monsterous things. Arguments have a way to surface heated words. Context considred out of place. I wish you would just let it go, and learn to grow with me once again rather than apart.
Stop comparing me to your scumbag ex. Stop airing our dirty laundry, and stop burrowing your head in the sand, and start confronting the one person who stands before you desperatly seeking resolve.
Im sick of your mind games, and your tales of sorrow. You have something potentially beautiful right here before you, open your eyes befor i become just another addition to your stories of sorrow.
Allow me back in, and why dont you try using some of the nice things Ive said rather than always focusing on the bad. In conclusion I love you, and would have doen anything to bring you to realize that. However now, I am considering to accept the truth. In preparation to move on, from my unforgiving past.

Answer 2

Can guarantee you that any man who says "No other man would ever want you" is worried that there are many that would! Since your husband said/used it during an argument it is a fair bet he said it to hurt you - and he succeeded. He chose to wound your soul with his words. One question - does he treat you that way, and say this to you often? If so that's abuse. That is a definite RED FLAG.
You deserve better, and should tell him so.
Your man is an insecure little boy, seeking to lower you to his level, so he can feel better about himself. Don't put up with it. If you feel the relationship is worth it, get to some marriage counceling.
I think that you might need some help with the depression you feel. The remark was cruel, but if your self esteem was already low, and personal health was poor, this would have increased the trouble you have dealing with this. Go to your doctor for referalls to councelling, and maybe some meds to help you over this period. Take care of yourself, you need to put yourself first, for the sake of your boys.

Answer 3

I sugest you move on. Because the "no other man would ever want you" crap is just that, crap! Your a beautiful person, and its going to take a special man to see that, simply your husband is not that man. I am sure there is more under the surface that you arent saying, and that is okay beacause I have heard those same lines from an "ex" myself. The key word there hun was "ex" I left with 3 kids, and found a man that litterally worships the ground I walk upon, but you know what I worship the ground where he walks as well. Take what you can from this relationship, consider it a learning experience, and move forward. Remember, you are the master of your own happiness, and it is up to you to show the world your worth. After that everything else will fal into place. Please make time to take care of YOU! (((Hugs)))

Answer 4

"I was told I am "used", "abused", and insecure. No guy would ever want me because of those factors." that is exactly what a person abusing you would tell you. So what if you have had some not so great luck with relationships, for someone to tell you that no one would want you, is an abuser themselves. You are young, and by your avatar are very pretty. Have confidence in yourself. You cannot let what others say affect you like that, they are not you. They are looking from a very judgmental point of view. The first step to feeling better is to realize these things, and ask yourself "why am I listening to someone else tell ME what I am? When I am the only person in this world who knows me 100%". Gain some confidence and get rid of this guy, OR he should gravely appologize to you for saying that. Stand up for yourself, people only tell you these things or emotionally abuse you (or otherwise) if you let them!

Answer 5

Wow that was nice of your ex husband to say that to you, seeing as he the one that used and abused you! no wonder why your insecure what a pr!ck huh! you'll be fine honey, i've learnt to not bother with what people say about you, its what you think of yourself and what your family and friends think that counts, because at the endof the day there the ones that are still going to be there, and if you dont like the person you are then you can always take small steps to change that, good luck, who needs men anyway!!

Answer 6

He is right as far as used, abused and insecure.
He has used and abused u and made u feel insecure.
But always there is a light at the end of tunnel. Get up and speak out. Remember that u r as good as u feel. And no one can feel u insecure more than ur own thoughts.

Answer 7

Jeez, whoever told you those things deserves to be removed from your life forever. I am sure that when you get a chance to be out there again, you will find plenty of guys wanting you. Being a single mom is very hard, you will have alot to balance. I don't have any advice, I can't put myself in your shoes....just trust me when I say, as a guy, you WILL be wanted. No doubt.

Answer 8

"used", "abused", and insecure. No guy would ever want me because of those factors.

Sis he's just telling this so that you wont try to have another relationship,he's afraid to accept the fact that a lot of guys will always be around you despite of all this factors his telling you.You got a lot more to offer guys which is not applicable to him.So just wait & see.

Answer 9

girl... I am going through the same ****! I am also 24 and mother of one. I am try n to fight my depression too. all I can say is that is just trash talk. if any of that was true then your man wouldn't be with you. he's just try n to knock you down so you think no one else would want you, probably because he is scared of losing you. don't let that **** get to you. you are a beautiful young mother and don't ever let any man take that from you! keep your head up that's what I'm try n to do!

Answer 10

Find thee a good councelor, seriously. Not a pschiatrist, but a psychologist or less:-)

You need to start feeling better about yourself and not take the verbal abuse from your "husband."

Although, I'm not sure how YOU argue either. The councelor will help you with how to argue (not a heated arguement but conflict resolution)...you "husband" should probably be in on it. He might tell you "no," "We don't need to go to a councelor." If he tells you that, or something similar, go by yourself. Good luck!