How do I tell my 7 year old about her birth father who has never been a part of her life?

Answer 1

Is she asking questions? If so then answer what questions you can and be honest to a point but just remember don't bad mouth her father. It is still her father no matter if he is in her life or not and children really don't need to hear how horrible their father is of a person. And please don't tell her he didn't want her or love her. Just explain that sometimes people aren't ready to be a parent but that is ok because Mommy loves her very much.

Answer 2

I suppose the question to ask first, is there a man in your life that your 7 year old treats as a father figure? If so perhaps you can explain that there is sometimes a difference between the dad who looks after you and the dad who helped mummy have you.
If not, then is she asking about why there isn't a dad in her life? If so, be honest, but do not run the birth father down. If you do she may think you don't want her because you didn't like her dad. Be gentle, she is only 7. Give her only as much info as you think she can handle.
My brother married a woman who had a young son. He had never seen his birth father either. When he was 4 we were all at a family Christmas gathering and he went round telling everyone he has two dads. We all knew, so we just said "Hey, that's kind of special, isn't it?". The point is, as he grows there won't be some dark secret hanging over his head. Also if there are others who know, he may have been told by someone who didn't realize he didn't know.
To us her son is just one of the family.
So good luck and be prepared to answer her questions as they come up.

Answer 3

Way too many variables there, hone! Is there a Daddy figure in her life? Has she asked? What were the circumstances? (You don't have to answer these questions to us but consider them for yourself) You know your child. Be honest, factual and careful!! Write it down before you tell her. Just like some of the others answered, do not under any circumstances speak ill of him. That doesn't mean you need to make excuses for him either, though. I would probably wait until she starts asking questions. Oh yeah, don't make it out to be a "BIG" deal. Just tell her while watching TV, during a commercial or something. If you don't make it a big deal then chances are she won't either! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well at some point kids will ask questions mostly when they become school age and other kids who have their daddy's are asking your kid questions like "how come you don't have a daddy" I wouldn't know what it's like, but if my kid were in that position I think I probably would be just telling her the truth... Whatever it is that happend between you and her father I wouldn't get to personal into it with details but I would just simply say "mommy and daddy didn't get along, and he couldn't provide for you so daddy left" make it as simple as possible but truthful.. it's the best way. If you lie to her eventually she will find out the truth and then she'll be really mad at you for lying to her.

As in reply to the other people who answered this question previously to me, don't talk bad about her father to her, they are right it will only make things worse.

Good Luck :-)

Answer 5

she is to young any way wait until she's old enough to understand. She may be wondering about him and might be asking you questions about him. Don't be afraid to answer to her but do be wise on how you answer with not to much info. Even though he was never around for what ever reason that may be never say bad things about him to her try to find something positive about him and point it out. When she gets older she will know the truth on her own rather it's good or bad. She will respect you for being the conservative mother on this issue and the day she will meet him face to face because it will happen she will speak for herself and very highly of you. But if you are curious to know what would be his reaction if he ever met her now that would be totally up to you. He should at least introduce him self and may want to start a relationship with her before it's to late. Only you would know if it will be a positive thing to do your the mother and you make that choice. But what kind of man would want to do this to their own child? If you are married and another man is doing the part as the daddy well you wouldn't have to do it as long as she knows that's daddy and daddy is good to her. Let life do it's thing if it's meant to be then she will some day will have that privilege to meet her dad but until now leave things the way they are. My cousin never met his father and at one point very curious to know him but the older he got he it grew less and now he finds out it was better that way.Although my aunt never touched that subject and never talked about him and the mention of his name was countable that man was not in our vocabulary. My cousin is a great father and didn't need a (father) role model to show him. He turned out to be alright.
Good luck.

Answer 6

I would just tell her that she has a father but he was not able to be in her life. I would not talk down the father to your daughter because she will be hurt and confused. My mother from the time I can remember talked down my bio father and in a way I resented her for it. I always wanted to find out for myself. Turns out she was right about all of it but it will be better if she can learn for herself. Good luck

Answer 7

Well, tell her the truth, but in a nice way. Tell her what her dad was like, what he looked like, what kind of a job he had and stuff like that. Don't tell her about the bad stuff. If she asks why hes not there, just tell her that that's a question that only he can answer. If she demands an answer, tell her "because he doesn't know what he's missing by not knowing you" If she wants to see him, I suggest trying online to find him. It may take a while, but dont' give up!!!!!!! I found my husband's ex by searching online in the county that she lives in, then i contacted the Child Support enforcement agency there to see if they could help and they did! Good luck with that!!!

Answer 8

If he's a dead beat she'll figure that out on her own. I wouldn't bad mouth him when I speak to her because kids are not Crazy. They understand everything that goes on around them.When my son became of age he asked me "why doesn't my dad every do things for me? You always have to do it, why?). I told him to ask his dad. So continue to take care of your baby and find her a damn good replacement.

Answer 9

that is when i herd about my birth father!! i always thought that my step dad was my father! until one day on July 4Th we were at the parade and my dad came up and started crying and my mom told me he was my father! so having her meet him is a good way!!

Answer 10

tell her the truth -especially if she asks questions. try to refrain from opinions as this could bode poorly for you. give her the love and support she will need as she learns about her other parent.