i feel awful... everything is so blah. no matter how hard i work, i can't get ahead, and i don't seem to know who i am. i can't put my thoughts into words, and i'm a mess of contradictions. i come from a wonderful family, and have many wonderful opportunities ahead of me, but i don't think i'm strong or "special" enough to get what i really want out of life. i'm afraid i'm weak and insignificant, and will be forever; my nightmare since i was little. does anyone have any advice for me? any tips, thoughs, anything?
2007-04-11 15:04:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
You seem to be having an existential dilemma. My advice is this: Own your life. You can only find the meaning and significance in it if you supply the meaning and significance in it. It really is up to you.
2007-04-11 15:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Erik R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have low self-esteem. You can change that.
Here's what I want you to do. Right now & from now on stop saying negative things about yourself. Start saying positive things (even if you don't really believe it, say it & it starts to feel true). You are strong & special enough. You are not a mess. You are articulate. Right now, I want you to go to a mirror. Look into your eyes. Say "I love you." Yes say I love you to yourself & even give yourself a hug for that matter. Hey it might feel goofy but it's going to help! Do you realize that we live our whole lives saying I love you to other people & never to ourselves?! No wonder we feel depressed & stressed & insecure.
Now I want you to force a smile. Force a big grin. Stay that way until you start to feel bitter (the brain takes cues from the body. You can actually fool it into being happier! It works!)
From now on, you are not going to say anything about or to yourself that isn't positive. In fact you are going to practice saying affirmations. Make up some little statements that you'd like to be able to say about you & then say them as though they're already the case: for instance I would say "I'm a successful singer/songwriter & artist making more money than I'll ever need." Ok it's not true yet but I'm working on it & if I keep saying & believing it it could happen.
I want you to say "I am strong & special. I can do whatever I want. I am happy." or whatever works for you. Your thoughts are very powerful. So start saying positive things & see how it affects your life for the better.
Other things you can do that are concrete: take walks. Fresh air & sunshine help. Exercise. Force yourself to do some cardio. Being physically healthy helps. Eat right. You are what you eat. So if you eat garbage guess how you feel? Get enough rest. A car can't run without gas & we can't function without sleep but most of us don't get enough & it takes a toll. Give up bad, self-destructive habits (smoking, drinking, drugs etc.) Take better care of yourself & you'll feel better.
The most important thing you can do to be happy is love yourself. Too many people don't realize this & spend their whole lives trying to fill the void with money, power, superficial things not realizing that without self-love nothing will fill the void.
Engage in hobbies. Do something fun. Treat yourself. You deserve it. Life is to be enjoyed not just endured.
Be good to yourself. I heard a quote once "Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong." So be good to you.
I had a rough day yesterday. At the end of the day I needed to treat myself so I had a nice hot bath & I had a glass of milk & an aero bar as I sat in the bath. Bubbles all around! Tee hee! It was so decadent. I wouldn't recommend chocolate all the time (you can have too much of a good thing) but once in a while it's a nice treat.
You are a beautiful miracle of nature. Be more kind to yourself. Then explore what your dreams are. Then go after them. & then my dear, you will be so strong & feel so special that there will be no stopping you!
Take care.
:)
2007-04-12 00:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by amp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. that's difficult to answer, especially because i don't know what you're doing, and what you could do differently.
three words jumped out of your question: 'wonderful', 'nightmare', and 'contradictions'.
i'm no psychiatrist, but if you've been having that same perspective of yourself since you were little, i'd bet it has something to do with your problem way back then, and maybe, something that's been reimposed on you time and again.
here's something very simple you can do...
when you feel bad, KNOW it. catch yourself feeling like a crap and immediately find the trigger. was it something somebody said? was it someone you know next to you? what memory did you just dredge up?
keep tabs on when you feel anxious, nervous, fearful, inferior, etc. find those triggers. i'm thinking the triggers will lead to the source.
oh, and i've been there. i really hope this helps. take care.
2007-04-15 08:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by EchoHound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very easily fixed. Start focusing on what you want, and what brings you joy, from now on. I'd bet money when you do this with intention you'll life will start changing back to marvelous quick, fast, and in a hurry. If ever you feel bad in the process, force it out. And if by all means you can't feel good. Then atleast neutralize the bad, by focusing only on your breathing until it passes. Then back to the good thoughts. Watch how good your life becomes after this now.
2007-04-11 22:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by Answerer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every morning when you get up . See yourself in the mirror and say to yourself " I love you, you are beautiful , intelligent , confident and a very good person, you are lucky to have a wonderful family and friends who love you. " Set a goal for each day ( can be a small one like , just saying something nice to 3 persons that would make them smile) or do a hobby that you like the most . DO THIS EVERY DAY ! You are worthy of all the good things in life and you can achieve them.You know, you have it in you to do whatever you want and become. Be strong!
2007-04-11 22:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by potpouri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a break. At some point in each of our lives we have all felt like that. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open and you will find who you are. Sometimes it takes awhile but contentment will come. I am weak and insignificant also...to the people who don't know me but not to the people who mean the most to me. I am strong and very important to them. Positive thoughts create positive actions...
2007-04-11 23:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by redlucky7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it is O.K.. I was just like you. I am 45 now. It could be the reason you are feeling conflict is you are realizing the direction others are taking you is different from where you feel you want to go.
Your path is going to be bumpier than some, but you will come out ahead. Stick to your gut and do what it tells you.
2007-04-11 22:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Wait a Minute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to do all of that "tell yourself you love you" crap. The problem comes down to this, one person can't make a significant difference in this world. You aren't going to cure cancer, find world peace or make everyone happy. Even though you aren't going to do something world altering, YOU still matter! You need to find out what is REALLY important to you, and that you want to do.
2007-04-12 01:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by Michael M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same things from time to time but there is a different situation for both of us, i lost my parents 4 years ago but all u can do is keep on keepin on and know one day it will get better
2007-04-11 22:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Christen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start living for other people instead of just for yourself. Become involved in helping other people...in teaching others. It's when you begin to look outside yourself that you truly begin to realize how special, and worthy of life, that you really are.
Read "The Tao of Pooh". I was at your place in my life when I read it...and I realized the above truth.
2007-04-12 00:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by latech76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋