Why is it that one of the first things we want to know about a person is what they do for a living?

Question

Whenever we're introduced to someone new, the first question people ask is "oh, what do you do"....like, it defines who that person is.

This has become just something customary, that's just asked. If you really think about it though it seems like we're actually providing people with a "quick take" of what we're about. But, in reality, I don't think people generally define themselves by what they do, even when they like their jobs. It's just one aspect of who they are. Some people even hate what they do for a living and consider it a mere necessity that pays the bills. So, what then?

When we meet someone new, isn't asking "oh, what do you do??" just as arbitrary as saying something like, "oh, I like raisins, what about you"?? Do you think people really want to know what a person does for a living, is it just cordial, do we use it to judge what kind of person they probably are, are we just robots of macro social etiquette ideals??

Tylernmi: Honestly, I'd LOVE to talk about weight or religion, even sexual preferences.

Behaviorist: Australia sounds *real*.

Smudgeward: The depth I was seeking. Thanx.

Hi Bernie M!!! Long time no speak huh?? Thanx!!

Lynn: Thanx for the laugh.

Honest_funny_charlie and fra_bob: I think you may also see the hypocrisy. Thanx.

Vegan: May or may not prefer it. But, it certainly would be more genuine and less boring, as well as a distraction so I wouldn't have to occupy 96.25 hours or more of the (as you say) 96 we ALREADY put in at work :-).

I am NOT what I do though, not even close...even with an education and job the majority would deem as important. It's just one aspect which, I feel, at a deeper level, can be likened to eating raisins.

Answer 1

It's not just etiquette, Western culture has so embraced Consumerism that what you do and how much you make are the sole definitions of your worth.
I don't like much about Eastern religions or Islam but at least they are not entirely enthralled and consumed by Consumerism and an unobtainable ideal of unbridled Capitalism.

Answer 2

Well the times u would ask a person what they do you more then likly don't know them so well so that is about the farthest away u could be from someone mentally and emotionally by knowing what there job is it is can also tell alot about the person whether they liked the job or not and what they say about it gives u a taste in what they like or dislike doing and what they can tolerate Even if they don't like the job they have that tells u they are tolerant and are determind if they aren't determind the wouldn't have a job unless it was there fav. cause they wouldn't care understand? So it's probably a sicological think asking what they do for a living cause even though the part of the mind that u really think w/ I guess doesn't know it sicological somewhere up in there u know and u wouldn't normally just ask some kind of random question to someone u don't know cause alot of peopl are scared about getting to know someone to quickly it is also taught u know to say that kind of thing from experiance someone has said it to you or u have heard someone say it that is the only way we can learn .....from experiance

Hope I helped

Answer 3

I say that it is just used for an ice breaker, most people use it for small talk when they are just getting a feel for a person. I cannot say that I have ever used what do you do as a start of a conversation though. I always use my surroundings for ice breaking , for instance in a line-up (not a poilce one either..lol) movie theaters or some place like that I would ask if they were waiting to go to a specific movie and who they liked starring in it? If I was in a hospital waiting room to see a doctor, I would say something like ,"wow I have been waiting for 1/2 hour and you were here before me , how long have you been waiting? etc....What they do for a living I only ask that after I have known a person for a while or if I see them repeatedly at different places after we have already been acquainted.

Answer 4

We talked extensively about this in my high school US History class. The fact that it is the first thing that we ask has a lot to say about what we value in society, even if it is just to break the ice. Europeans criticized this because they felt (especially in the 1950s and 60s, and during the student revolutions) that Americans were only concerned with how much money you make. "Oh hi, what's your name? What do you do?..."
Actually, what you chose to do with your career does say something about you, even if you don't like your job. If you love your love, and you are passionate about it, it shows, and you worked hard to get there, it shows. If you see your job as just a necessity that pays the bills, it says something about your lifestyle (not necessarily a fulfilled person, no?). It is not just as arbitrary as saying something like "do you like raisins?" We spend our time and energy towards doing well in our jobs, be it for monetary incentives or intellectual satisfaction. We are not just robots of macro social etiquette ideals, haha.
Oh man we talked so much about this, I just don't feel like talking about it all over again. Sorry.... but I hope what I did say helped. I know I am being horrible to the ideals of Yahoo Question and Answer, but I have just gone over this so much...
Ok, so in Europe, a guy who makes a certain amount of money is entirely different from a guy who makes less money (at the time of historical studies in my class). It means different family, different education, different social class, different language (dialect, accent, vocabulary...).
In the U.S., one guy is as good as the other. One guy can make it, he has the opportunity to become rich. It is all about the money. It stops there. You could be an intellectual or just a silly ignorant person, but you are on a level playing-field. What qualifies you is your job and your income.
This is pessimistic, I know, but it is the interpretation of American society during earlier decades. Hope it helped.... there's more but you will have to read on it.
Kind Regards
Loup

Answer 5

I hate being asked this question because I don't "do" anything for a living. I'm on disability, and when people ask what I do, I feel obligated to tell them I don't do anything--and then they want to know why I'm on disability. I am not defined by what I do or don't do in the "work world." In fact, I would say that the "work world" isn't even a real world. If your best friend was a doctor and then became a janitor, would he/she not be your best friend anymore? Of course he/she would still be your best friend. So what is work? It may be different if it's a passion, but for most people it's nothing more than a paycheck. So please, don't ask me what I "do for a living." I "do my life." And even when I was working, I didn't ever define myself by what I did in the work world. I defined myself then, and still define myself, by what I value and love.

Answer 6

Dear K; when I meet someone for the first time; I also ask that same question mainly for two (2) reasons; First (1st) to compare what that person does to what I DO! for example if a new friend tells me that they work as a Police Officer (Cop) than in my mind I will conclude that they Earn more money than I do and they have a more exciting job; Second (2nd) If a new Friend tells me that they work as an Auto Mechanic; than I will call that person When ever I have problems with my car and get some advice! When we ask a person, What do they Do? It is out of our own self Interests!

Answer 7

Society has determined that a person IS what he or she DOES.
It is used as a benchmark for immediately forming an opinion of the other person.
A very poor practice indeed.
Many opportunities to meet fascinating fellow humans have been passed by due to the wrong initial impression given.
Do yourself a favor. Try to find out who a person is, not what a person is.
Try it next time you meet someone new. Who are you? not What is your method if making money?

Answer 8

Sleeping and working a full time job take up the majority of a person's time. 96 hours out of 168 hours.

Of the two, employment is a more interesting subject.

It's a lot more significant than liking raisins or not.

----
I do not believe you would really prefer someone to walk up to you and ask: "So why are you so fat?" "What is your opinion of buggery? Do you think blood makes a good lubricant?"

I suspect you'd slap or punch anyone who tried that.

Answer 9

Work is such a huge part of alot of peoples jobs that many of people have very few other interests or hobbies, if you can connect with a person over their job it gives you common ground for conversation. People also tend to identify THEMSELVES with what they do so it is typical that they would apply same identification to others........

My sister and her husband talk about their jobs all the time. I would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than have to listen to them go on and on about it......neither of them have any significant hobbies.

Answer 10

It is a good ice-breaker. How would you deal with a question about your weight or religion or sexual preferences instead??
Most adults can easily adapt to a question regarding careers, and in some instances actually benefit from it, as it can be a common interest, or they may have mutual friends. Best wishes