Parental help??

Question

I m just asking for my own knowledge. I have one son and ive raised him by myself for almost 5 yrs. His father isnt around and hasnt payed a cent not by my choice. I am pregnant again and me and boyfriend have been together a year, i was wondering if we ever broke up, how does it work.. will i loose my child, can he get full custody and if so.. how if ive done it for 5 yrs with no help and i know im a damn good mother my only concern is ive on antidepressants and have been for years.. will that hold bad in counrt.. im just wondering in case.. please someone educate me! thanx

Answer 1

I do feel for you. You are anxious!! Because of your past experience with your first son, and his father left. You raised him for 5 years alone without any help. I commend you for being a good mother.

Now your are asking on advise regarding your child that was conceived with your boyfriend of one year. You are afraid that history might repeat itself. You fear that your b/f may want custody of the child. First of all I doubt very much that the antidepressants you take will have any standing in court if you are under doctors care, and the court finds you to be a fit mother.

You asked for advise, well I have some advise for you on a different matter. Please take it as one friend to another.

After you do give birth start using birth control so you won't be in this predicament again. Then when the right time comes, further your education and get some working skills so that you will feel and have the ability of independence.

You might be depressed because you are bogged down in the home all the time, and do not feel any self worth. It is important for you to find a way to build your self esteem. By going to work, and being around other people in a different environment. Even if it is a part time job it will make all the difference in the world to you.

There are day care centers once you give birth, and the 5 year old will be in school by the time you are physically back to yourself.

You can't imagine how good you will feel about yourself.

And if g-d forbid your b/f does leave you, you won't feel like it is the end of the world.

Another bit of advise is to stop shacking up with boys/men. Find someone who will love you for who you are and want to commit themselves to you in marraige.

Do you have family? Mother, sister, uncles aunts who can lend a helping hand. You know the expression, "blood is thicker than water"

I wish you all the luck in the world, and please heed my advise.

Sincerely.

A yahoo friend.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to get a court order for child support. There is no reason that you should be supporting your son financially alone. You didn't "make" him alone, right? Okay.
Why would you lose custody of either child - are you a bad mom? Do you neglect your son, not feed him, not provide clean clothing, leave him all by himself for hours, hit him, yell, etc???
Just because you are on anti-depressants does not mean that you are incapable of being a good parent. Millions of parents take anti-depressants - so what!?! Now, if you needed them but were NOT taking them, I could see a problem. But, that's not the case.
You need to talk to the father of the baby you are carrying now and set up some sort of "understanding" about what would be best for this baby when it's born - should you break-up. I really think shared custody is best, as long as both parents are able to take care of the child.
Finally, not that I'm judging - because I was in a similar position with my son, but, how about no more babies until you are married. Then you don't have all the stress that these kind of situations can cause. Good Luck & Congrats on the new baby!

Answer 3

I am not really sure how that works, the fact that you are on antidepressants might look bad in a custody case but I do believe that it has to be more evidence of you just being not a good other to your child. I would talk to a lawyer to be sure if I were you. My question to you though if you are just pregnant and already thinking about you and your boyfriend breaking up and you losing custody..Why did you get pregnant in the first place? If there is no stability to begin with, the child will only add more issues to the situation...Good Luck

Answer 4

Oh expensive..octuplets to boot. Haha. never happening. Ever. Delilah Alice Madeline Victoria Genevieve Isabelle Alexandra Kathleen Oliver Henry Benjamin Charles Nathaniel Thomas Frederick William

Answer 5

For the sound of this, it doesn't look like this guy is going to stick around with you and your kids. Just wondering if you two are considering in getting married for the sake of your kid and one on the way, just to make it right and to show a good 'moral' example to your kids as well.

Just don't know why you are even asking such a question about losing your child. He can only get custody of the child if you are an unfit mother or if you show any type of abusive behavior. But, if you are bi-polar, his chances to get custody of your kid is pretty good. Because, no court will let a child in the hands of someone who has such behavior or any type of violence. That's where you will lose and he will win custody.

So, for the sake of your kids, do what ever possible to make a good example for your kids, by getting married, only if you two are serious in being husband and wife and mommy and daddy to your kids.

I would consider on reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I challenge you both to be that husband and wife for the sake of your two kids. Don't let this be another statistic where kids will be without the father in their lives. Make it work!

Answer 6

being on antidepressants do not look bad in court. being depressed and not taking your meds look bad. you have a health issue and you are handling it. if you ever break up with your current boyfriend and he leave, immediately file for custody. once you have filed, your new ex will be restrained from removing the child from your home. thus establishing the child as living with you. and then you have to move forward to do an OSC hearing to establishing you having full custody. once you have custody, odds are the child will never be removed frm his home unless something severe happens, such as you abusing the child or unstable to raise the child on your own. but as you have an older child you take care of as well....it would be retarded for the judge for you not to have the second being unstable and leaving the other child behind. chances are...your meds won't be big enough of an issue.

Answer 7

Hey by the sound of things your not to sure on your partner sticking around. If you have one child and you have never had any difficulty in looking after him then no court in this land would take your second child from you whether you are on anti-depressants or not. You want whats best for both your children and that is to be with there parents and when this cant be done the best place for them is with there mother especially when your doing what sounds like a good job. Email me if you fancy a chat or if you have msn send me your addy and I'll add you.... Good luck

Answer 8

in most states the biological mother will have more rights then the father..if your medication is helping you and you see a doctor regularly and you say your a good mother then get it in writing from other people and document bad or wrong things your boyfriend/husband does and he will definately not have a leg to stand on when the time comes...p.s.( go to the child enforcement division in your city and they will fight for you to get child support ..the child deserves it!

Answer 9

no because you are on that is a good thing becuase you can take care of your kids no he could not ger costdy of the kids unless you are doing somthing really bad like drugs drugs not pascrption all you have to do if that ever happens when you go to court make shure you have your doctor wirte a note stating that you do take it. and you can take care of your kids 5 years will be a enife to tell the court no matter you are takeing this and you still can take care of your child.

Answer 10

Being on antidepressants doesn't bode well if your boyfriend ever decides to play that card whether you are planning to marry or not. You may want to get some serious help and get off the drugs if you want to be sure this won't become an issue. Please try.