Can I stop my husband from taking the kids to his mistresses house?

Question

My husband just took off 2 weeks ago, I am pregnat by the way and we have 2 beautiful kids, 3 1/2 and 1. We are still married and I just dont think its fair my children should be around her. Do I have the right to ask for a custody agreement that states he may not have his children around this woman? I asked legal aid, and they said they heard of it being done before, but dont know if its oftemn a factor. I just want whats best for my kids, I think seeing their dad hug and kiss me just 2 weeks ago, and now do the same w/ this woman is immoral, WE ARE MARRIED! What is that saying to our kids?

I forgot to mention that they just signed a lease together, so now they share a residence

Answer 1

You have to get past your anger for what your husband has done. Unless this other woman is a danger to your children you probably will not have any legal standing. You are grieving right now, and the last thing you should do is to punish the children for something they have no part of. They need both parents right now. You may think you are punishing him , or maybe her but in fact not seeing dad will only hurt them. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you really have to let dad pick up the kids, give them a hug goodbye and put on the fakest smile you ever had to make. There will be a time and place for you to air your anger and concerns, at the courthouse most likely, but do your best to keep it in that arena. As much as you hurt and are confused, the kids are even more huhrt and more confused. Be strong for them, and I and others will keep you in our prayers. Not much of a concilation but it will have to do untill you get your life back on track. Good luck to yoou.

Answer 2

Ok, let's play devil's advocate for a second here:

You may be married, but he's obviously left you for another woman. Your marriage is probably over, honey. Maybe this other woman will be the woman he will settle down with forever -- you just can't know this now. Your husband may know he's in love with this woman and feel secure having his children around them, may want to share them with each other.

I know that's not what you want to hear -- because the other side is that his timing is truly heinous! Your husband is a first class ******! Yes, life happens, You can't help who you fall in love with, or who you fall out of love with. It happens... But, jeeze -- what in the hell was he doing sleeping with you quite so recently?? It says much about what kind of a man he is... kind of a shady character, I'd say.

Unfortunately, in most states I would presume that you will NOT be able to bar him from bringing your children to visits with his new ladyfriend, not even overnights. You'll have to do some supersleuthing to dig up a good reason (and be able to prove it in court) to keep your kids away.

Honey - Life is short.

You've got a new baby on the way. Why not try to make your life happy - and not be sad or mad. Dump the dork. Imagine how great your life will be with a truly great man... they're out there. And embrace being a single mom. Forgive your husband. Meet the homewrecker and give her a chance -- she may have a hand in raising your kids.

It sounds very Zen - but the anger and hurt could really ruin your life otherwise... and it could especially ruin your childrens lives.

Answer 3

No, you can't stop your husband from having his mistress around when he is with the kids. If he was a decent man, he would arrange to see the kids in the absence of the mistress, but seeing that this is a sticky situation already, he is a jerk and don't care about the awkward situation he may be placing his children in or the message he will be sending.

Just trust that the woman will be good to your kids, and if she isn't, take steps to gain sole custody. In the end, he will lose out on special times with his kids, and eventually the mistress will realize that he is a jerk and will no longer want to be with him. Nothing good comes out of a situation when folks purposely hurt children.

Answer 4

Remember this is your childrens father. It will very hard to prove he smokes pot and I do not think it would be a good idea to discredit his name . Get your divorce, work out visitation, and get child support. You will not be able to stop him from seeing his mistress, or taking the children there with him. As long as he is being a good father, and this other woman is being good to them, I think you should be okay with that. You will have to accept the fact that your soon to be X will always have another women in his life, it will be this one or another one. I know its hard for you because you once loved this man and he has hurt you so terribly, but you now have to think of the children and not your self. You want them to have a good life, as uncomplicated as possible Do the right thing. Don't fight through this divorce, the kids will only suffer more. Time will pass and you will be happy again. Do not worry. : )

Answer 5

That's very selfish of him to mess with those kids emotions like that and yours too! You are still married and he did this? Get custody right now and do it as abandonment if you can and he can have visitation not at his resident as a decree in the custody agreement.

Answer 6

first off Congrats on the baby news What that is saying to your kids is that when they grow up they can cheat on there husband or wife. Talk to your husband and tell him that you do not want your kids around that woman because you and that woman are setting a bad example being with me, being with her than back with me(me=you). Or i hate to say this you might have to file for a divorce and YOU get the kids.
If you what the marriage to continue there is nothing wrong with seeing a Therapist. But tell him O.K. Be Brave It is Ok

Answer 7

It is confusing for children in any situation where there is separation. The best thing you can do is stick with the access and allowing him to and get legal advice simply because if you stop him seeing your children it could harm your defence and you don't want that. The thing with children they forget very easily and very quickly. Fancy a chat if you have msn email me I'll add you I'm in a situation with my ex and it is difficult i no

Answer 8

Obviously this is going to be largely dependent upon what state you live in.

But...if they have signed a lease together, than it is his residence. And unless he (or she) has some history that would indicate a danger to the kids, I doubt you would be able to keep him from taking his kids to his residence.

Answer 9

you need to file for divorce, and go for either full, or joint custody. and no, i dont think you can stop him from having his kids at her house as long as they are cared for. In being seperated and the fact that he moved out to his mistress and took the kids with him is grounds for divorce based on Infidelity! you have the upper hand in court,,,,,go for it and get your kids back. And dont forget about all that child support! good luck!

Answer 10

By all means, put a stop to it. This will confuse the kids even more. Sue him for adultry and get all you can get from him. The sneaking jerk deserves nothing better from you. Tell him if he takes them there again, you will restrict visitation to NOTHING. Seems he cares more for this ho bag than you or his kids.