scared, confused, alone, need help n advice?

Question

this may seem liek a common question, but it is really serious. I am a month and a half pregnant by my boyfriend, but he doesnt seem to believe it is his b/c of his family n friends running around saying i cheated on him, he knows, and they ll know that i didn't. On top of all this, i live with my grandmother and she is saying that if i dont get an abortion, then i will be kicked out, n i dont know how i will raise a child on my own with no1s support or anything. Plus i just need to figue out a way to make him fully trust me about this. So anyone have any syggestions on how to make them or at leats him n my gram have a change of heart about this? id ont want to have an abortion!! but i dont want my kdi growing up without a father either

Answer 1

Ok this might be difficult, but I honestly can tell you this is the best option for you to take because it will give you the outcomes you want. You want this baby to live, you need a place to live, and you want this baby to be raised by two parents. Although it may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, the course you need to take is making an adoption plan for your baby. Although this may not be what you want, that is no longer important. The most important thing is choosing the path that will be most beneficial to your baby. I urge you to take a look at a website called Bethany.Org. This is an adoption agency. They can offer you a number of support options:
1.) Counseling from this point until post labor
2.) Living placement arrangements during the pregnancy
3.) Assistance in selecting a forever family for your child
4.) Open adoption plans, this means you can receive letters and pics throughout the childs life to see they are growing up in a happy and healthy family.
5.) They also offer counseling if you do decide to keep the baby.

BEST OF LUCK!!

Answer 2

I empathize with you but you have to think realistically. First of all your bf is just like his family if he can believe what they are saying and not trusting you. He seems to be a jerk and not much help in your time f need. You can not afford to be disturb at this time. You will get high-blood pressure. Your grandmother is not helping either but you can't blame her because she might be saying that you are too young to raise a baby right now. You have to weight the pros and cons and see what is best for you right now. I do not want to advise you to have an abortion but you are young and will be able to get more. Plus, a baby will only keep you down right now. Wait until you are in a better position to house and feed a baby as well as having someone by your side. If you want to keep it then you will have to talk to Granny and tell her about the joys that she will have with her grandchild. If she will not budge then you will have to look for someone to take you in or give it up for adoption after it is born. Pray and ask the Lord to show you a way out of your situation.

Answer 3

You can't make him trust you, that is something earned. Seems there is a reason he and others don't trust you, wonder what you are not telling us.

They won't know until after the paternity test, until then you are on your own. However that being said, it tells you a lot about the looser you picked to make babies with...bad choice on your part. This isn't the last problem you will have with him, and wanting him to be with you is pretty dumb.

Fact is you should have thought about all of these things and your grandmother kicking you out before you started making babies with a loser. You made your choices now you have to live with them.

Your best bet is to either put the baby up for adoption, or find a new man. One that you can trust and will stand by you. Good luck with that one.

Answer 4

This is a big decision for you and your baby please be sure to make the right one. You could consider adoption. I am waiting for a baby to become available for us to welcome home and believe me, there are so many families out there that will pay for all or most of your bills and see u thru your pregnancy.If you decide to keep the baby, I'm sure with time everyone will come around if you handle yourself as a resposible adult and love the baby once he/she is here in the world. You have to live the rest of your life with any decision you make. I was 19 a pregnant with no family and the father left before the baby was born, it's hard. But if you stick it out I'm sure you'll be glad you did.

Answer 5

I think, unless your boyfriend comes around soon, you need to just forget about him because you have more important things to worry about. I don't know your gram, of course, but I imagine that she's worried that she may be too old to raise a baby as well as finish raising you. There is another option....You could have the baby and put it up for adoption. You would be giving your baby the kind of life he/she deserves with a couple that can't, for whatever reason, have their own children. I know a couple that has tried in vitro 3 times with no success and are looking into trying to adopt. Why not try finding more information about that and present it to your gram? Maybe try this site:

http://courageouschoice.com/?gtse=GOOG&gclid=CJjRzsDeu4sCFR6AWAod3GDH1Q

Answer 6

Look in your phone book under "abortion alternatives" for a crisis pregnancy center. Not only will they have materials that may help you sway your grandmother, they will also most likely have baby supplies and things to help you when the baby is born, and they will be able to refer you to organizations that will help you in the event you do need shelter, paternity tests, adoption info, etc.

If your boyfriend is doubting you, it doesn't seem like a very strong relationship, and you don't need that at a time like this. Just get the paternity test when the baby is born to make sure he does his part. You're young; you have lots of time to find a good man who will be an example of integrity to your child, instead of a jerk who turns his back on you when you need him most.

I know it's a tough situation; you're in my prayers.

Answer 7

For Grandma - tell her you're going to carry the baby to term and put it up for adoption. If she accepts it, then conveniently change your mind later.

For boyfriend, paternity test.

You know who you slept with. You won't be without support (the father has to pay, of course). There are tons of programs for food and health insurance for single/unmarried moms too.

If your Grandma sees you being responsible and sees that the child will not be a burden or expense to her, I would guess she could have a change of heart.

Remember that you are NEVER alone. I'll be praying for you. My email is anne vaini @ hotmail. com if you need someone to talk to. (Take out spaces...)

BTW, my husband didn't think the baby was his :roll eyes: That was his way of expressing that he was really nervous about being a parent. I told him to go ahead and do a paternity test (I knew what the answer would be). Once he felt comfortable with the baby, he changed his mind.

Answer 8

i'd go to a women's shelter and ask for advice there. there are all sorts of programs out there for kids like you. you might want to consider an abortion if it's a last option. also, adoption is a beautiful thing. you can meet ppl out there who are willing to have you live with them through out your pregnancy and will take care of you for giving them the best gift anyone can receive. if your bf is so psycho, why would you want ties with him for the rest of your life? he doesn't sound like a good person and seems a bit controlling and that will eventually end up in an abusive relationship. good luck to you.

Answer 9

First off I had been raising 2 boys on my own without their fathers involvment.... then I met the man of my dreams who loves both my boys as his own and now I am pregnant with our child and very happily married....so you can do it without a father and eventually Im sure you will meet someone who will love your baby regardless.....so I would not worry so much about him....if he really cares he will be there if not forget him....go to your local public aid office...they will assist you with housing, a doctor, food, money, medicaid....everything to help you get on your feet...or at least refer you to programs....you can go to school and start a good career that will help you take care of yourself and your child...you need to take care of you and your baby...dont worry about him or your grandma if she is not going to stick by your side with your decision to keep your baby...its your baby and your body!!! The public aid office will also order a DNA test for him, you, and the baby, and when it comes back positive he will be ordered to pay child support and provide insurance for your child! You can make it on your own...just make the decision to do it, work hard, and look for the programs that will help you get on your feel!!!
Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 10

First off how old are you?? There are programs out there that will help you with the situation that you are in you just need to seek it out. There is not alot that we can do here on yahoo, I would seek out some help from your community. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you get the help that you need. If you need to talk more you can email me.