A question for Principals, counselors, therapists, pshychologists etc.. that can help re: my 9yr old son?

Question

I have a 9 year old son (in the 4th grade). We moved to Texas from California 2 years ago. In California my son was an honor student and made straight A's. He never had anything lower than an A. My sons grades were a's when he began the 4th grade. He was happy with his teachers and very comfortable in class. In January the school switched one of his teachers to another grade level and brought in a new teacher in his class. In 3 weeks my sons grade dropped from an A to a C. The teacher never told there was problem and for 2 months I tried to get a parent teacher conference and finally got one yet his teacher did not show. She had another teacher of his give the conference. This teacher has made comments to my son "what a great example your parents are setting for you" when she doesn't agree with my husband and I. If you have an email address or a phone number please email it to me so I can go into further detail as this only allows so much detail. Little more detail below

I am not saying my son is innocent at all. He does admit to talking in class. When he does something the teachers automatically think he is doing something bad and won't let him explain. When he has gotten a chance to explain (very few times) they say " I think your lying" and thats it. They tell him what they think his punishment at home is (we took all his toys and games etc...out of his room 6 weeks ago and he has not watched TV in 6 weeks and he is not allowed to go outside to play with friends). Yet the teachers feel that is not enough. Against my wishes my husband allows our son to go to a church function on Friday night with (a kids church function) and that is when one teacher told him "Your not grounded are you...if you were your parents wouldn't let you go to FNL". My son then says "thats all I am allowed to do" and the teacher said " I don't believe you" and the other teacher said "what a great example your parents are setting for you". Oh there is so much more!!!

Bottom line I am trying to figure out how to help my son and figure out what is going on with these teachers. Can anyone tell me where I can find free or very affordable counseling or therapy or what ever. I need to know how to help my son before it's too late.

Answer 1

You have every right to sit in on the class and observe. Go and talk to the principal and ask if any other kdis are having difficutlies with this teacher. (They will not tell you!!) but ask anyway.

Take the kid out of school for a few weeks (there are only 7 left) saying you will be homeschooling in August. And do it. Homeschool is easy for the elementary grades and the kid will love it.

It only gets worse as the years go on. I am about to take my 9th grader out of public school (his first year at a public school for 5 years) again. He is mixing with a grim group and needs better education.

Answer 2

As a fourth grade teacher, I can tell you that the behavior you describe on the part of the teachers is unacceptable. I agree that an appointment with the principal or school counselor would be a good idea. I don't think that the teacher should comment at all on how you choose to discipline at home. That being said, I think that 6 weeks sounds like a long time to not play with friends (unless there are some other behaviors you haven't mentioned) - particularly since you've just moved and he might need to establish some friendships. Talking in class is part of being a fourth grader (if it isn't excessive and disturbing the learning of others). I don't think homeschooling is practical for everyone, or necessarily beneficial for everyone. Schools and parents can work together. I agree that your son is the victim and needs you on his side. Is there another fourth grade teacher that he could be transferred to?

Answer 3

As a teaceher on the out looking in, that seems very harsh for a teacher to say. I have a rule that I lay out for my parents - I believe half of what your cchild tells me goes on at home, if you believe half of what your child says goes on here. Kids are very all about them. So, if the teacher says something once, they will remember that. So, even if they don't say it again, the student might falsely qoute the teacher, knowing that there will be trouble.

As for the grades, school changes A LOT in two years. I tell my parents that K-2 is where you learn to read, and 3 & up is where you read to learn. Have you notieced any academic changes. Do you read together each night and discuss what is being read? Is he advancing at that point? Is he having a stress from the move? Is there any shift in the home - parents, new siblings, new economic or social status?

I don't think that sitting in the class that he is in will give you an accurate representation of what is going on. However, if his room has an adjoining door to another room, ask the prinicipal if you can sit in the other room with the door open a bit (if the other teacher does not mind). We had a student who would spit & curse at us, but the minute a parent or another adult would come in he would play victim and his parents didn't beleive us. So, we had the mom sit next door and she was finally able to witness the behavior. She still tried to deny that her baby would do that, but he didn't know he was being observed, so he was himself.

The next question I have is, why are you taking things away from your son when you are posing this as having an issue with the teacher? So, you are telling me that the kid is locked in the house with no tv, no interaction with other peers? He has to be miserable. Think of it like this - you ahve a horrible day at work, and you come home and it is bad there. Do you have any motivation at that point? Maybe get the student involved in a sport so there is a release.

You need to meet with the principal immediately and discuss these issues with the principal. If worse comes to worse, ask to meet with the class change committee to move him and see if these behaviors continue.

Answer 4

You should get an appointment with the principal or the student councler and explain everything to them. Don't leave a thing out. Even if you have to write things down.Get some answers. and advice. If you don't get any where there, go to the school board and tell them what is going on and get their advice. If all else fails, get in contact with the Board of Education. They are going to harm your son mentaly. Bad enough he had to move and then to be with situations with these. Don't hesitate and get on them. Good luck.P.S. I don't think right now you should get a therapist for your son, he is the victim here.