We are in a committed relationship, but a year ago, he and my sister started an affair and ended up having sex several times. I've thought of how it has affected me. I still love my partner. I have forgiven him and my sister from the moment I found out. But i have trouble committing to him again. We have a lot of friendly togetherness in our relationship which makes it hard to leave coz it is great source of happiness for me. We can irritate each other alot tho. Also Im not very physicaly attracted to him. My desires stemmed from his faithfulness and our deeper connection. He said that he had the affair coz he got more affection from her. We have since been living separately, and iv found men who i find appealing attracted to me. Ive been faithful to him anyway. I can do more things i want if im not in a committed relationship. Do i stay and build on our friendship or should i go single and see the world b4 committing to any1? is it unfair 2 him 2b with me? He wants 2 work it out.
2007-04-11 11:06:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you already know the answer to this one. If you are not attracted to him and cannot commit with him, then it is time to move on. This would give him the chance to find someone who can be committed and attracted to him and it will give you the chance to live your life and see the world before settling down.
2007-04-11 11:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While you may have forgiven him on certain levels, you've not completely forgiven him or else you would still be together. I think at this point it might be best to take a break completely ... at least for a while, and see what else this big, bright world has to offer. Then in 6 months or a year, if you want to get back together, it might be worth a try. However, right now, since you don't have much physical attraction to him, friendship might be the better, safer course to take.
2007-04-11 11:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JEEzus girl, get rid of that butthole. How fun for him to be free and single (and probably sleeping with your aunt now) knowing you are sitting there faithfully. Now that's just downright pathetic. Draw the line, get some boundaries. Cheating men are a dime a dozen, you can find another one by walking out your front door. Find one who has higher aspirations than chasing skirt, the guy has a problem if he can't even control himself around your family for God's sake. Where is he so I can slap him. That's just rude, no class behavior and you can tell him I said so and just about every other woman who reads your post. Linda
2007-04-11 11:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Linda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK first off I don't have to read this whole excuse that you are right to set here and cut it off by saying " WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!" Come on now wake up and smell the dick girl he slept with your sister for heaven sake come on now and the only real this that you are worried about is being alone "BOO WHO WHO" get a grip if you say that you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you then start growing up and leave him alone, your sister on the other hand knew better then to even do something like that, if that was me I would first bit the creep out of her then forgive her for doing something like that.
Girl you need to really set down somewhere and pray
matter of fact I'll pray for you.........
Dear God,
Help this little girl to grow up cause she doesn't understand that every time she sleeps with this men that she is with she is also sleeping with her sister. Help understand that there are better men out there for her and not to settle.
in your name we pray A-Man
2007-04-11 11:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by smiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you should leave and why should you care whats fair to him he banged your sister more than once and if it was my sister she woulda done got a beat down cause that is so low to do that i would eventually have forgiven her but guarantee she woulda thought twice about messin with any of my other men...leave the loser and work on your problems with your sister before you get another boyfriend she had to have done it for a reason
2007-04-11 11:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by moonshine momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out in the world and explore!
He's not that important, and it's not fun being in a relationship where there is NO attraction! It feels dirty almost!
Go out and get the dreams and life WITHOUT HIM!
2007-04-11 11:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, find a man who hasn't hurt you so deeply, you're finally now being honest with youself. Good for you. This means you're getting stronger, find a man who deserves you and you are attracted to.
[as for your sister, never trust her again.]
2007-04-11 11:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He slept with your sister...and it's good that you were able to forgive them because I don't think I'd be able to. But I still think you should find someone new and leave him. Let him find someone else and you find someone who will be faithful and that you're physically attracted to.
2007-04-11 11:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave!! If he cheated with your sister(blood is thicker than water)who knows who else he may have lined up.(get away with it once...try it again later).The trust is gone if you sit back and look.(Everybody Needs Trust in a relationship)You could never really trust him with your sister could you?
2007-04-11 11:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by Tony R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man wasn't faithful to you, and you don't really find yourself attracted to him then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. It's not fair to him or you!
2007-04-11 11:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by Joy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋