My girlfriend says drinking while pregnant is OK because she's giving the baby up for adoption?

Question

She quit smoking but REFUSES to quit drinking (Stoly her favorite) because she says no big deal we're giving the baby up for adoption. She's been reading things here on Yahoo! Answers and might listen to YOU guys, she won't listen to me, she says I'm a broken record.

Answer 1

That is rediculous! What does it matter if you are giving it up for adoption? It is still a baby whether you are going to take care of it or someone else is. I hope she stops and does what is right for the baby. The baby cannot make decisions so she has to make them for the baby. I hope she makes the right one.

Answer 2

Just because she is giving the baby up for adoption, doesn't mean that the baby can get F.A.S.(fetal alcohol syndrome).

It is a good thing that she placing the child for adoption, because she sounds like an immature chick, who doesn't care about the life that the two of you created. Does she want the couple that the child goes to, to have all sorts of problems? The baby could have Down's Syndrome, born without any sort of appendage, even possibly die. The baby will and when born, has to be somewhat rehabed because of her stupidity.

Look up on the net about F.A.S. and look at the pictures that they have of children who were born into that. Maybe that will smarten her up.

It is alright (and I mean seldom) to have a half glass of wine or a beer--but not to drink everyday and say "oh well, we are giving the baby up for adoption." She sounds like a coward and doesn't want to accept any responsiblity for what happens. If you place the baby up for adoption, and it does have some deformitites, do you think that that child will be adopted? It will probably be placed in some sort of care system, and that person's life will be ruined. Is this what you are hoping for?

I wish you the best of luck getting her to quit. If she doesn't then I think that you better rethink some of your choices, like maybe keeping the child and making the both of you realize that this is no fun and games. That the two of you go through any sort of problems that the chid may have, and put the stress on you both. Then maybe she will learn.

Answer 3

It's good she's giving the baby up for adoption. If she were keeping it, no doubt it would wind up being taken away from her as a result of some child abuse further down the line. She's already an abuser.

What she's doing now is a form of child abuse--or fetus abuse. The baby, unfortunately, has to suffer because the mother's a self-centered blockhead.

Babies born to alcoholic parents are generally of low birth weight, which can lead to other problems. Sadly, the child and its adoptive parents will have a lifetime of having to deal with this, all due to the mom's selfish behavior.

From an article entitled "Babies born to alcoholic mothers may suffer permanent nerve damage:"

"Newborns whose mothers drank alcohol heavily during pregnancy had damage to the nerves in the arms and legs, according to a study by researchers at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), one of the U.S. National Institutes of Health. "

There is also plenty of information on the web about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). Your friend should educate herself.

Sigh. Some people were just not meant to reproduce.

Answer 4

Sorry to tell your friend this but just because she is giving the baby up for adoption does not mean the child will be adopted a adoptive family has the right to back out of a adoption if they find out there is some thing that is wrong that could have be avoided. and two in the US if your baby is born with any type of drug in their system they look at that as child dangering at she can go to jail for it.

Answer 5

You really need to try and talk to her. Drinking can harm the baby and even though you guys are planning to give the baby up for adoption, it does not make the situation any better. She would be very hurt and regretful in the long run when she has the baby and God forbids, it is born with some kind of birth defect. I don't know your girlfriend at all, and I am not the one to judge, but it would totally devastate her if it came down to that point. Your girlfriend needs to wake up and realize that she is carrying a child inside her and it is her responsibility to make sure she takes care of herself and the baby. I will be praying that she stops and gets help from somewhere because an innocent baby doesn't deserve that.

Answer 6

It doesn't matter if she is giving up the child for adoption or not. This is a life - and she needs to respect that!

Ask her how she'd feel if she was the one who was given up for adoption after her mother had been drinking throughout her pregnancy and she ended up living her life on the wheelchair because of prognosis like Cerebral palsy, MS...... and the like?

She is basically setting this child up for a life full of misery because the child's system is not able to deal with the chemicals that come from alcohol. The child will lead a really bad life. If she cares enough - she'd stop and she should stop.

Let me put it this way - you reap what you sow!

Answer 7

If your girlfriend drinks alcohol while pregnant, her baby is VERY likely to be born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, which causes mental retardation and lifelong physical and mental disabilties.

So the baby will have lifelong problems and may never lead a normal life. I can't really say anything else, because if that's not enough to change her behavior, then I don' t know what to say except this is sooooooo sad for the baby, who did nothing to deserve being so horribly damaged for life.

Answer 8

Regardless of whether she keeps it or not it is still a baby and drinking is very unhealthy for a fetus! She's not keeping it but someone else is going to be keeping that baby. Its called alcohol fetal syndrome and she is selfish, why put that baby through the stress just for her pleasure? She'll only be pregnant for a little while, but that baby would have to live with whatever problems will arise forever. She can drink freely after its born.

Answer 9

um...k im a nurse and first of all slap her with a stupid stick b/c it says on the lable it will cause harm if preg. (ex. me MAY cause harm) and its still not okay b.c yea you might get lucky and the baby will be normal but chances are it wont' be and not very many people want a diformed or disabled baby...so why are you ruining the life of the child when it could be normal and have a great life without her? tell her she's REALLY selfish and doesnt' care about anybody but herself...its the truth otherwise she would start thinking about "hey this kid would want a normal life with parents who love and adore it" most handicapp kids go through the system and STAY in the system THEIR WHOLE LIVES, some get really really lucky and go to a family who doesn't mind it...but gosh that chance is SO SLIM its not even worth talking about/ she sounds WAY TOO selfish...my advice FOR YOU is to get the heck outta that relationship b.c if she can't care about your unborn child then why the heck do you think she cares about you

Answer 10

The baby still needs to be treated correctly whether or not its being given up for adoption. No matter where they go they are still going to have to deal with the affects of the alcohol in their life. Its not safe for the baby for her to keep doing this. Tell her that in the future she will look back on this and regret drinking while she was pregnant. Give the kid a chance, and tell her to PLEASE stop drinking.

Answer 11

So let me get this straight. She doesn't care about the child at all because she's not keeping it? You should get her some literature on fetal alcohol syndrome. It can make the child a nightmare. There have been cases where adoptive parents have undone the adoptions because of such cases where the children are horrible and mean and violent and can't be controlled. Then, they end up in the foster care system. Is that what she wants for the child?