My husband's uncle died 6 months ago. We were both very close to him. I take care of opening all the mail in the household, paying all bills etc - my husband never even looks at the bills or mail. So a letter came addressed to my husband. I honestly didn't realize what it was , I just opened it out of habit. It was his uncle's will. My husband is upset with me for opening it. Was I wrong?
2007-04-11 07:52:29 · 32 answers · asked by casey308 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His exact response was "how dare you open that letter"
2007-04-11 08:08:45 · update #1
No - If he left it up to you to open the mail, you have done nothing wrong.
Does your hubby have a secret past life that was revealed to you in said will? Is the uncle going to be upset? (I doubt it.)
Did he tell you it was coming and not to open it?
TELL HIM HALF OF WHAT HE GETS WILL END UP YOURS ANYWAY!!!!!!!
2007-04-11 08:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Jamie 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. If you always open the mail, and he never even looks at any of the mail, then no you did nothing wrong. If he had wanted to open it himself then he should have let you know. Just tell him that you didn't realize what you were opening. You may also need to remember that if he was very close to his uncle, then it could have just been more of a reaction to the passing of his uncle and not really the letter at all. Let him know that if he needs talk about what he is feeling or going through than you are there for him. Hope this helps.
2007-04-11 08:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lulu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband stays upset, it suggests that something is indeed wrong -- with him.
He may simply have had a knee-jerk reaction, especially if the contents of the will were somehow sensitive. But if you're the one who normally opens the mail, then he should quickly realize -- after he's cooled down -- that he was out-of-line for getting angry at you. Then, if he is a truly decent guy, he will apologize to you for flying off the handle that way.
In any case, given the fact that you always open the mail in order to pay the bills, you did nothing wrong by simply opening the letter.
2007-04-11 08:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Georgia Fella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you are so use to opening all the mail, then it seems like an honest mistake. If your husband is going to get that upset about it, then perhaps he should open his own mail from now on and take care of the paper work to pay for the bills if it is under his name.
2007-04-11 07:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by NobodyHere 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
While technically, nobody should open mail not addressed to them, if he has never had a problem with you opening all the mail before, (including things with his name on it) and you've never given him a reason to believe you're trying to spy on him or be nosy, and it was really an accident, then he should forgive you, forget about it and move on.
If he continues to make an issue of it, then every single day, make him open all the bills and pieces of mail that are addressed to him, and tell him that since he got so upset about that one thing, you don't want to take a chance on it happening again.
2007-04-11 07:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you open all the mail, why should you have made an exeption for one thing when you didn't even know what it was? Your husband either needs to get over it, or take over opening the mail and pay the bills himself. You are spouses, why wouldn't he trust you anyway? That's just plain weird.
Tell him to get a P.O. box for his top-secret private mail if he going to be like that.
2007-04-11 07:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't. When I was married to my first husband, I also paid all the bills and opened all the mail. If it was for him, I gave it to him. But, if your husband KNOWS you are the one who opens the mail, and you have ALWAYS opened the mail, he has know valid reason to be upset. If he knew he was expecting this, and he asked you not to open it, that would be different. But does he expect you to pick and choose which mail he may or may not want you to open?
2007-04-11 08:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. I would have done the same thing. I open everything here also. Maybe he is not really upset with you for opening the will, but just kind of taking it out on you because he is still grieving over his uncle?
give him some time, maybe getting the will just brought out some raw feelings.
Good luck
2007-04-11 07:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Holly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it couldve been a bill and if you wouldn't have opened it and it wouldn't have got paid he would have been upset then asking why you didn't just open it plus hes your husband why would it be a problem if you seen that letter anyway this is just petty stuff whats the big deal ?
2007-04-11 07:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong. It was an honest mistake. And what does it matter if you opened it, anyway? Does it make it invalid? Tell him if he can't accept the apology then he can be responsible for the bills from now on. I bet he gets over it really quickly.
2007-04-11 08:15:06 · answer #10 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truly opened on accident then he shouldnt be upset with you. there shouldnt be anything to hide between the two of you anyway in marraige. if you opened it though cause you were curious then in a way you were invading his privacy a little, im sure he would have told you about it anyway. but if you deal with all the mail and bills how were you know that it wasnt one. personally i dont think its a big deal, he should apologize to you for being upset.
2007-04-11 07:59:47 · answer #11 · answered by loveboatcaptain 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋