I met my husband 8 years ago when I was 15 yrs old, we have been happily married for two years. He saw my sisters grow up. I am going through a very difficult situation. My 18 yr old sister is telling me that my husband has been sexually harrassing her... At first I believed her since this is something that no one can lye about. But after talking with my husband he assures me that this hasn't happened. Of course he'll deny this, but let me add this, my sister has always been perfectly comfortable with him around and she would even look for him when she needed advise, or someone to go to the gym with, wanted to sleep over at our house to watch movies. Now she tells me that she was afraid of saying something and she was acting normal so she would not hurt me, but how can you act normal with a person that is sexually harrasing you and not be intimidated. Who should I believe. I see truth in my husband's eyes but my sister accuses him of something extremely serious.
2007-04-11 07:28:57 · 14 answers · asked by Lil 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
According to my sister, the sexual harrassment started when she was about 17
2007-04-11 07:37:49 · update #1
I know my husband and he has never stared at other girls when he is with me, and I have never noticed an awkward situation with my sister.
2007-04-11 07:40:38 · update #2
I know my husband and he has never stared at other girls when he is with me, and I have never noticed an awkward situation with my sister.
2007-04-11 07:40:39 · update #3
So she was about 10 when he started coming around? Maybe she liked the attention and that's why she still came around and wanted to spend the night. It may have been very flattering to her to have her older sisters boyfriend (at the time) giving her that kind of attention, but as she has gotten older she now realizes how wrong it is. I can't tell you who to believe, but just because she wasn't in tears when he was around doesn't mean it never happened. Kids do strange things in those circumstances. I don't think she would bring it up unless she had a reason to.
2007-04-11 07:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, there are some serious issues going on here. You're right, it's a very serious situation. This is what I would do, but I'm sneaky and clever sometimes, and sometimes to get the truth you have to be. When they're together in a room or something, or even in public, slip away, and then kind of spy on them for say like fifteen minutes or so. You may have to do it more than once when the opportunity arrises. Don't tell her ahead of time or your spouse (otherwise it's not spying). Do this for say a couple of weeks or a month, or however opps you can get.
Then, if nothing comes about , you don't hear anything etc...then there's your proof. Maybe she took some kind of behavior of his the wrong way, people do all the time, you know? But really , to find the truth in a he said/she said situation, this is the way , I think. Let me know! Good Luck!
2007-04-11 07:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My gut tells me your sister is right. However, to find out for sure, set up a situation with your sister's cooperation in which your sister and husband are alone in a room or a location. Unbeknown to him, you are either in the next room, or nearby watching and listening to what he says and does. You'll find out the truth soon enough. How ? If your sister is lying, she won't want to do this; and if your husband has been lying, he'll fall right into the trap, think that he's alone with her, and start coming onto her.
2007-04-14 19:37:16 · answer #3 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your sister the type who has made up stories in the past to get attention? If she is, you might be skeptical. If she does not have a history of lying, then I would be apt to believe her. She is your sister! You have known your husband for eight years, but you have known her for eighteen. I wish you the best of luck, this sounds like a situation no one would envy.
2007-04-11 08:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, it doesn't sound like he's been harassing her...it sounds like they have been seeing each other. Being as how she's soooo comfortable asking him for advise, asking him to go to the gym with her, sleeping over at the house to watch movies....
I can guarantee you that when you're asleep, you're probably the only one. Sorry to hurt your feelings, but I think your sister told you that as a punk a$$ way of telling you that your husband and she have a relationship.
Maybe they don't want to hurt your feelings, but my instinct tells me that if you don't get down to the gritty on this one soon - we'll be seeing you on Maury Povich!
Good luck!
2007-04-11 07:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your husband? If he was over 18 when he met you at 15 and still a minor, then he definetly has an "eye" for younger girls. He could be a pedophile.
Believe your sister.
Good luck
2007-04-11 07:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am so sorry for what u are going through,i can imagine what a nightmare u must be going through but remember an accused person is presumed innocent until proven guilty,it is difficult to choose whom to believe,i think the best it to do is to set a trap for them without them being aware of ur present from what happen between them u can know who to believe.i wish u all d best.
2007-04-11 09:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not that hard really...believe your sister! why would she lie about this??? think about how hard that it was for her to even get the courage to tell you something like that...ive been in her position its hard...you ignore it at first hopeing that it will go away you ignore it because you dont want it to be happening and his actions make you feel somewhat responsible like youve done something wrong...the reason she acted normal and pretended like nothing was happening is FOR YOU because she didnt want to hurt you! its not easy for her to be going through this. i understand that its certainly not easy for you either but think about it thats your little sister and its your responsibility to take care of her no matter what age she is. also ask other females you know and are close to if he acts a little too flirty with them and when they tell you yes (because they will) then you will know...leave his a$$ because if hes hitting on your little sister hes nothing but sorry!
2007-04-11 07:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister what reason would she have to lie remember blood is always thicker than water there is no way he would ever admit something like that to you if you're wanting him to tell you the truth its not going to happen that's your baby sister she needs you to believe her -i hope all goes well with your family !
2007-04-11 07:39:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has perhaps your sister made an advance towards your husband and he turned her down?
Sounds a little strange, but I would seek answers and not just blow it off.
2007-04-11 07:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋