Should spouses have hidden email accounts?

Question

Is it wrong for husband and wives to have email accounts that
the other does not know about?

Answer 1

In a marriage, there should be nothing that is "hidden". The only people who "hide" things, are those who are up to no good.. and cannot be trusted.

I believe that when a couple is married, and they love each other, that they should share everything, and never keep secrets, or secret accounts of any kind.

It's like they always say "Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing".

Answer 2

suspectingwife,

FWIW, I administer computers for a living, I have approximately 10-20 email accounts for a variety of reasons, one I use as a spam bucket when I register at a commerce site when I don't want my "real email" account thrown into a spammers, lists, other emails accounts are for being a contact point for websites I administer. When I retire I will have no computer or email in my house.
If by your handle you don't trust him, email is a small part of a bigger problem.

Trust. Something has jeopardized it. No amount of snooping in emails will fix it.

If he has a problem with honesty then asking him point blank if he is screwing around on you will likely elicit a lie. If he realizes you are on to him for something, chances are he will get better at hiding it.

If you have children think about what you need to do for them 1st. Ask your hubby if he would go to counseling with you. As you would like to have more open communication in the relation. If he is a good honest man, he probably would agree to it with some trepidation but it may save a salvageable relationship.. If he is not honest and has a problem with being so, then maybe you ought to consider hiring a lawyer.

Answer 3

Communication is key.. Sneaking around and trying ot find "hidden" emails won't solve anything. It will end things if that's what you are looking for but this is in your head no matter what. I am not saying he's not cheating {how would I know} but I can assure you there are many other ways of finding out whether than just getting old emails. Good luck though

Answer 4

I think it is wrong. My husband had a secret email account for several months. I never confronted him about it because I knew he would deny it and then close the account like it never happened. I was able to break into it and found out that he had a secret friendship with a woman in our town. To my knowledge they never met and the relationship seemed to be ended by the time I got into the account. However, it's obvious that many affairs start out this way. It has changed the way I feel about my husband altho I don't feel like he exactly cheated on me. I feel like some of the innocence is gone and that makes me sad about us. I somehow never thought he needed the attention of any other woman in his life. Scared the hell out of me to know what he was capable of. I will never trust him unconditionally again.

Answer 5

Depends on what it's for. I have one that I set up to join an online group for people with loved ones living with combat-related PTSD and veterans wit PTSD. My husband is a 2-time veteran who has had serious problems. We did share an email account. I didn't want to hear the blow-up I would get if he knew I thought he still had a problem, so I created an email account. I know, it was secretive, but I was desperate to make contact with people who were in the same position. It's not OK, however, if you use it for singles sites, etc.

Answer 6

It depends on why. I have a couple e-mail accounts that my husband doesn't know about, but if he ever discovered them I would gladly give him access. I'm not trying to hide anything, but at the same time, I don't tell him every little thing I do either. He can check on me any way he wants and he won't catch me doing anything, because I don't do anything I wouldn't do if he was standing right next to me. He also has his own account. I have never accessed it. I think everyone has a right to privacy, and just because we are married doesn't mean that right means anything less. I trust him and he trusts me.
If you have a secret account to receive dating services then Yes, that is wrong,

Answer 7

Why would someone want a "hidden" account? Do they have enough respect for each other to know about the account and not go through it? Respect and honesty are a solid foundation for a good marriage, relationship or friendship. This does not mean you have to tell your significant other everything, but not to hide it if they find out something they did not know. This is assuming they have nothing to hide.

Answer 8

It's not wrong, a little privacy in the relationship is good for both of you. If you trust your husband, and lets suppose you do, then I see no reason for making a big deal of it. If you don't trust him, simply asking about it would give you the answer if he uses it to hide something, or it's just something that hasn't come out in a discussion. You two, even married, are separate people, and everyone needs little privacy.

Answer 9

No. I'm using one right now! If the spouse is using it to cheat, hook up with other women, etc...then that is wrong. If they just like to have an extra yahoo account to screw around on stuff like this without having to worry about yahoo deleting their main account over something stupid, what is the problem?

Answer 10

This is a sign that they are ashamed of what they are doing or they could share their email accounts with each other. If you can't show it or share it with your spouse there is something wrong. The wild litte emails to a friend, if you are ashamed to share it with your spouse come on. All you are doing is the starting of an affair. It is a form of cheating. They just don't want to admit it.