We have been married 3+ years, together for for over seven years. I still love her, and I have no intention of being unfaithful. Our relationship is fine, no problems beyond the occasional "standard" issues. We get along well. And she is very caring toward me.
Is this all that love is? A lot of excitement and heat at first, only to slowly fade away over the years to a kind of "comfortable-ness"?
2007-04-11 07:00:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The excitement doesnt leave unless you let it...... think about it,,,when a couple first gets together they bust their butts making things romantic, planning surprises, doing it in unexpected places.......romance becomes an afterthought.....(it happens only at the end of the day, when all the chores are done, TV on all night, etc)....you have to make it a priority in your life, by priority I mean spend the entire evening in bed, sneak out to the garage, do the things you three years ago. Ive been with my wife for 5 yrs and to this day neither of us knows what to expect. We still leave steamy voicemails. She sends me sexy text messages, a walk in the woods could become a very erotic experience. If the romance is gone its because you two havent worked to keep it up, talk to your wife, you might find out shes missing that part of your relationship too.
2007-04-11 07:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congradulations, you've discovered life. Love is not the passion and excitement that you have in the beginning of your relationship. Love is far more simple and more complex than that. Yes, love is all the little things you do for one another. If you're not being unfaithful, there aren't any problems in your relationship, why are you worried? There will come a time when you will full out hate your wife at least once a day, but even under that, you will love her. If you didn't, you wouldn't have married her. Why look for more than that. As long as you work on keeping your interest in her, not just in the bedroom but in everyday life as well, your relationship will flourish. And who knows, you might even find some of that heat you had in the beginning.
2007-04-11 07:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by lupinesidhe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is hard work and in order for the excitement and heat to remain in the marriage both parties have to work to keep it there. I admit there may be times when both people may become comfortable but when that happens you and your partner should work to rekindle the fire in the marriage.
Marriage is not I think I love you and want to spend my life with you today and hate you and want a divorce tomorrow; its a life long commitment and there will be times when you may doubt, question, feel frustrated, angry, etc. with the situation but you must remember that its a life long commitment. Besides she does not sound like a bad spouse and sounds as if she is doing her part very well. I think that you are just bored with the situation and looking for an easy way out in order to see other people. My suggestion is to just stick it out because she sounds like a great wife to have (most people are not that blessed or even lucky to find someone like the person you have).
2007-04-11 07:26:59 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional intimacy fuels sexual desire (and that 'in love' feeling) so start working on getting it back.
Reading material to consider:
Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, Shechtman
Passionate Marriage, David Schnarch
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
The 10 Second Kiss, Ellen Kreidman
2007-04-11 07:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
good question i think alot of people wonder the same thing i think very few relationships stay exciting forever and there are times when you need to try and put some spice back in your relationship maybe its time for that maybe you could plan for you two to get away even if for just a weekend and just try new things the longer you are with someone its probably good to try and add new things to your relationship i wouldn't give up on your marriage just yet it sounds like for the most part you have a good marriage it just needs a spark put back in it remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side !
2007-04-11 07:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about you, isn't it? There's such a thing visitation rights for parents who no longer live together. And don't live with your son - with you as an example, he'll only learn that if things aren't all romance and flowers forever, it's okay to skip out on your relationship and find someone else who can provide the romance and flowers while leaving the wife to rear the child.
2016-05-17 21:04:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right. You should be comfortable with each other after 10 years. If you want excitement, date her. Go to exciting places together, buy some erotica, etc. You sound like a nice guy that is kind of bored. You need to jazz it up. How about playing doctor/patient with her tonight?
2007-04-11 07:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who was married for 8 years, I can honestly tell you that as long as the relationship is still rolling along, the newness has simply worn off is all. It is not always going to be horns and whistles. Now if it gets to the point where one of your cheats, then divorce court might be a option
2007-04-11 07:05:32 · answer #8 · answered by Brian Gee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is normal. Marriage is what you make it but it is not all fireworks all the time. I have been with my husband for 13 years and sometimes it is just cozy cuddling and hanging out like old friends but other times it is still hot. It all comes down to love. I don't think that you should say that you are not in love with your wife, you are from what it sounds like. If you are wanting to make it interesting then do so. Go on trips, go on dates etc.
2007-04-11 07:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what are you asking exactly? It is up to you to figure out if your marriage is just going through the motions or If this is a phase & you need to figure out how to bring back the excitement in your marriage. If you feel like your missing something than you probably are, you just need to do some soul searching & figure out what it is & how you can retrieve it. Try not to leave your wife in the dark, maybe she is feeling the same way................
2007-04-11 07:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by Reckless 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋