To start this off, I'm 24, this will be my second marriage (his first) and I have two children from my previous marriage. My ex and I had a horrible split and it's made my parents a little judgemental. We've been dating on/off for the past 3 years. He's recently proposed, I accepted. Without even meeting, my parents have formed a negative judgement based on the issue he's 11 years my senior. Now I need to know how to break the news to my parents with out them disowning me. He's wonderful Mr. Right. Loves my kids, accepts my past, and wants to build a future. I've told them this and it all seems to fall on deaf ears. Need help finding the right words.
2007-04-11 06:58:45 · 11 answers · asked by C_M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are mature enough to get engaged you are mature enough to approach this subject with your parents. Have your b/f take your kids out for dinner and invite your parents over for some tea. Make sure there will be no interruptions (no cell phones, turn the phone off, no tv, etc). Sit down at the kitchen table and tell your parents that you realize that your messy divorce was difficult for them but that you have moved on and you believe it is time for them to do so also. Tell them that you realilze they hold some judgments because of that against (your new boyfriend) and that you would appreciate it if they would take a new look at him and realize that he is the best thing that ever happened to you. List all his wonderful qualities and all the things about him that you absolutely love and make sure to mention that he loves your children (and that is an absolute must for a woman with children from a previous marriage/relationship) and he treats you so well, etc. After all this tell them that (your boyfriend) has asked you to marry him and that you've accepted with great joy and anticipation and hope that they will accept him and your marriage with as much happiness as you feel. Tell them you appreciate everything they did for you while you were going thru your divorce, and the aftermath and that they know you love them with all your heart and that you know they want you to be happy for the rest of your live and that (your boyfriend) makes you happy and you believe this marriage to be the right thing. Good luck to you and God Bless your marraige.
2007-04-11 07:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think you've built this up the wrong way - but the past is the past, and that can't be fixed.
If this man is so wonderful, then why don't you introduce him to your parents? Let them see this great guy - they'll be confronted with an actual person that they can no longer form uninformed opinions about. And if he's so great, he'll (eventually) win them over.
Your fiance will have to work hard, though. He'll need to try his best at every meeting with your parents (which should be frequent, so that they'll know him better and better) and let insults, hurts and other problems slide off of his back.
I wish you the best of luck and a happy marriage!
2007-04-11 07:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by TWWK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what. You are 24. You are a grown woman! I know that having your parents like your spouse is important, but your happiness is even more important! If this man makes you happy and you want to marry him, just tell your parents directly. Don't beat around the bush. They will either choose to accept it or not. You are their daughter and they should love you no matter what. They need to realize that it's your decision who you marry, not theirs.
2007-04-11 07:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by aishawallis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're an adult, and able to make your own life's decisions.
UNLESS you live with your parents, and they're supporting you and your children.
At any rate, no need to use words, simply show them your ring finger! I assume he's given you a ring? I would also want their explicit reasons against your age difference.
2007-04-11 07:07:36 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your an adult and you need to do what is best for you and the kids. Sounds like your folks are being controling and childish.
2007-04-11 07:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by mickey n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them how happy you are..and that he is right for you..Spill you heart out..If you mom is more understanding I would talk to her alone or your dad if he is the understanding one..but I would do it ASAP because then they will hold more resentment.
2007-04-11 07:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow your Mr Right to meet and make a decent impression on your parents. Once they see he is not like your ex, they should welcome him with open arms
2007-04-11 07:02:37 · answer #7 · answered by Brian Gee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i now know that parents are right most of the times they have experience so its still for you to decide follow your mind,your heart or your parents,
2007-04-11 07:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them in the bet light possible for your intended and if they have problems you are 24 yrs. old.
2007-04-11 07:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them it's your life-they need to realize your not a little girl anymore
2007-04-11 07:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by amanda 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋