Developing my career has been a struggle and has proved to be well worth the effort. I am taking a mental health day off from work as I simply don't know how to communicate with a man at work who has made it quite clear what his feelings are. What is the best way to tell him I am straighter than a straight line?
2007-04-11 06:48:47 · 17 answers · asked by Buddy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Asking the Stupid Questions is part of why I am so good at my career! There are no stupid questions.
2007-04-11 07:24:59 · update #1
Well, you dont want to hurt his feelings. The best thing you can do is to tell him that you are very flattered by his interest in you however you prefer women. In most cases this respectful answer works well with out hurting feelings. The fact that they know you are "flattered" makes them feel good, and they can not blaim you for your sexual preference. I have used this phrase with women hitting on me as well and most of the time they are very understanding... I also got one heck of an awsome friend out of it too.
2007-04-11 06:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By "has made it quite clear what his feelings are" you make the question almost unanswerable.
Does that mean that you BELIEVE that he is gay and interested in you, but all he has DONE is flirt or even just appear to be gay? Does it mean that he ASKED you to go out with him? What does it mean?
I'm gay. I, without any conscious effort, flirt with everyone I meet. I've been with the same partner for going on 16 years. My bowing over women's hands, and flirting back with straight guys who flirt with me as a joke are, while a sign that I'm secure as myself -- NOT an indicator of anything else. I've never had a negative repercussion from any of it either, people understand who I am. On the other hand, I have been forcefully propositioned by both men and women who were determined to have sex with me (when I was younger) -- those situations are difficult.
If the latter is the issue. If the other man is directly pressuring you to have sex, attempting to use his position to "force" you to have sex or actually has physically touched you in a private place on your body IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU CAN CLEARLY PROVE IT HAPPENED -- then you shouldn't be talking to us, you should go straight to your HR department.
If the guy, on the other hand is "thought to be" or has said that he is gay -- and is friendly to you or flirts mildly with you -- which is for some reason more the feeling I get out of what you posted than the other --- then if I were you I would take some serious time to examine my own self-image. That sort of thing goes on all the time by every gender to every gender. It is harmless, and being overly concerned says to me that you are extremely insecure. There is a huge difference between sexual harassment and flirtation and an even huger one between sexual harassment and thinking that someone is after you when perhaps they haven't even flirted but are "known" to be gay and are making their feelings "evident."
Only you honestly know which it is, but I hope you will act accordingly in EITHER case.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2007-04-11 07:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm not gay," has worked for me the past 40 years. (It used to be 'homosexual' a few decades ago when 'gay' was a more generic term defining mood - except in the Gay Community.)
2007-04-11 06:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Ben 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, that he's barking up the wrong tree- then proceed to flirt with a female coworker. That should give him a hint.
2007-04-11 06:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him. First, let him know that its disrepectful, non-professional and rude to carry on with flirting at work...ESPECIALLY if its not wanted and not reciprocated. You dont have to be nasty or have a bad attitude when u say something to him, but u can demand that he stop.
2007-04-11 06:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are straight and not interested in a gay relationship.
2007-04-11 06:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him, I'm straight. And if he is making you feel uncomfortable let him know, and if he doesn't stop report him to HR, nobody should feel threaded at work.
2007-04-11 06:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by rickyhunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop man i'm straight
leave me the frick alone or i'm gonna frick your face
you even lost work over this piece of work
shame on you-be a man dude, be a man
2007-04-11 06:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell dat person 2 lay off if ur not gay . if ur gay than i cant tell u what 2 do.
2007-04-11 06:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by kittykat923 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him on his face: You are barking at the wrong tree!
All the best!/
2007-04-11 06:55:57 · answer #10 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋