How am i going to raise a baby when i am just a kid?

Question

i am 16 and i just found out that i am pregnate i live with my grandparents and the baby's dad is 18 i have been dateing him for 4 years now and i dont know how to tell my family.i am scared and everyone probelly thinks i am a screw up but i know i can do this i just need so advice.and so help from the father but i know he will be there for me.

Answer 1

You aren't. Most likely you will mooch off of your parent's or society in an attempt to have someone else do it for you. Give it up for adoption now for the least amount of worry after the birth. For the least amount of worry, overall, get an abortion.

Answer 2

You are all ready on the right track by telling yourself you can do it. I was 17 when I got pregnant and my cousin was 16 we went through it together. I am now 28 and it was a struggle I will be honest ... kind of still is. But you will manage and remember God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. You will be fine, and it don't mean you are a screw up or any less then anyone else. I had to buy my baby stuff at garages sales and used clothing stores but hey dont' be ashamed you can get stuff that is practically brand new. Besides the baby only wears it for a month or so. Start buying Diapers now, not to many newborn they grow out of those in a month or so. Just start preparing now, that is the best thing you can do. I am here to help you... even though you don't know me I want to help support. Email me if you are interested. I am a Christian who wants to take up helping young mothers as my hobby and kind of my way to work for God. You can do this, and don't be ashamed.

Answer 3

First of all, you need to talk to your grandparents about your condition. While it's a very scary thought, it's very necessary for your future, and for your baby's future. Then, you need to include your boyfriend in the conversation. This is a very emotional time for you, and this situation can turn out to be very difficult, but decisions need to be made soon, so that you can get on with what needs to be done. Stuff happens. Yeah, you made a mistake. Learn something from it and move on. You can't take it back, so use it to make a difference in your life, and the life of your child. It's now about your child. Everything you decide will affect his/her future. Make it count. My daughter-in-law operates a foster home, so I know first-hand about these things. Right now, she's in the process of adopting a 9 month old baby girl, who's 16 year old mom & dad (yes, they're both 16) gave up their parental rights. This makes it possible for my son & his wife to have the child that they can't have any other way. It also makes it more affordable for them to adopt through the foster system than going through a lawyer. Whatever you decide, know that it will affect your child for the rest of their life. Do what's best for him/her. Don't think that the baby's dad will step right up and want to be a family. Too many young gals think this way, then are bitterly disappointed when it doesn't happen. No, I don't know your fella. But I've seen it happen personally, so many times. That's why I'm cautioning you now. Try to put a limit on your expectations, especially when it involves other people. You don't really know how they're going to react, especially when they've had time to think things through. But, for right now, you need to do the first thing first, and tell everyone involved so that you can move on. Eventually everyone will know anyway, so just get it over with. It might turn out better than you imagined. And please, for heaven's sake, finish school. The job market is brutal enough even with a college degree, so stay in school. That's the best advice I can give to anyone who's in your situation. I really hope everything works out well for you and your family. <*)))><

Answer 4

Everyone who is criticizing her for getting pregnant, you should be ashamed of yourselves. She is a scared 16 year old looking for some advice, not tons of people to tell her that she is wrong and her boyfriend is a rapist. There's a whole 2 year age difference - so get over it.

Anyways, back to you honey - first talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you are scared, that you want to have the baby (if that is what you want to do), and that you really need his support and you want him to be there for you and the baby. It took both of you to get pregnant. If he runs then screw him - it will be tough, but with the right support system, you can do it.

Telling your family is going to be tough. They'll most likely be mad at you and maybe try to convince you to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. Whatever you do, do not crack under pressure. Do whatever your heart tells you is the right thing. It needs to be your decision or you will have regrets for the rest of your life and always wonder "what if..." If you don't know how to confront them in person, write a letter. Tell them that you realized they are probably disappointed and yeah, you did screw up, but you're pregnant and what you need right now is not criticism, but support.

If you have one nearby, go to your local planned parenthood. They'll be able to support you and send you in the right direction for help and support. And you don't need to drop out of school. Most districts have an alternative school or will let you take night classes and are willing to work with you so you can get your diploma.

It is possible to raise a healthy, smart child no matter what age you are. My stepmother had a baby when she was 16 years old. She finished school, had no support from the father, worked her *** off, saved enough money to get out on her own, eventually bought a house, and raised a daughter who was valedictorian of her high school class, got her bachelors from Princeton university, and was studying over in England for her graduate degree before you passed away from an underlying medical condition. Her daughter was so successful because her mom, my stepmom, was supportive and encouraged her the entire way.

So I have seen it happen honey - you can raise a child who will make this world a better place even if you only are 16. Always look up and try to stay positive no matter what you encounter. Good luck, and if you ever want to talk, email me.

Answer 5

Man, so many judgemental people here!! You're not a screw-up! You simply made a decision that led to circumstances not being ideal...you can expect this to be one of many in your life. None of us are perfect, and all we can do is move forward and make the best of what we have.

The truth of the matter is that being a parent is HARD, no matter how old you are.

You need to be honest with your family. The good news about family is that even though they might be disappointed with you, they will still love you. On top of that, once they meet the baby, they'll all be head over heels in love, and all of their questions will disappear.

You need to see a doctor ASAP and regularly, as the baby needs to be your priority, even if you decide to give it up for adopton. Please remember that someone precious is counting on you, who deserves all of the best opportunities in order to have a good start in life.

I highly recommend that you look around where you live, to expand your support network...You might start with the public school system, as they will likely have a program for teen age mothers who need to finish school. From there, you should have access to parenting classes, counseling, public health nurses, etc. Additionally, you'll find people who are in exactly the same boat you're in, and can help you to get through the tough spots simply by sharing their own thoughts, experiences and worries.

I was 16 when my daughter was born. She is now a well adjusted almost 22-year old woman, with a good career path, and a fiance who worships the ground she walks on. I managed to not only grow up into a great adult, but to ensure that my child did as well. You can do it, too, if you want to!

Answer 6

My wife got pregnant at 16 and I was 18, we are now 21 and 23. The best advice I have is stay in school. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hopefully the child's dad sticks around to help. There really is no blanket advise that is going to work for everybody in every situation. Just try your best, stay in school, and love your child. with those three things you have a pretty good chance of succeeding and the only real requirement for being a good mom is loving your child with all you heart and protect him/her from danger in every way you can. That means that if you are in a bad situation (and I'm not saying you are) but if you ever find yourself there, get out. Don't let a man beat on you or her, kick him to the curb. Don't let a man do drugs around you or her, get out of the situation. (Again, not saying that your boyfriend is like that, I don't know him.) Good luck.

Answer 7

Ok I don't think your a screw up and I'm sure your grandparents wont think that either. You are very young and if you plan on keeping this baby realize its going to be very hard work and take a lot of time but you can do it. You can still finish high school and go to college a lot of community colleges have day cares on campus that are free if you qualify for financial aid. This isn't the end of your life its merely a bump in the road that A LOT of teens have gone through some decided not to grow up and take responsibility for their babies and others have to work really hard but do a great job. Good luck and keep your head up sweetie.

Answer 8

My daughter was your age when she found out she was pregnant for the first time. Raising a child at your age is tough but it can be done. You and your family and the father and his family should really discuss what you are going to be doing for the next 18 years(raising your child to adult hood). There will be many sacrifices, but it is worth it. On the other hand, since you are so young, and starting your life out, you might consider giving the child up for adoption.There is no crime in giving a child up if you know it is for the best.You can arrange an adoption through an agency which will allow you to still maintain contact with the child. What you do with the baby is up to you and the child's father ultimately so don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Good luck.

Answer 9

I am sure you are really scared, that's normal. It's going to be hard to tell your family but they will come around. At first everyone will probably think things that you don't want to hear but just be sure to give them time.

Raising a child isn't easy but there is a lot of support out there. You can get help for almost anything and you will enjoy being a mom. Having a child is the greatest gift ever!

Don't listen to negative comments because this is something that can't be changed. people will have to deal with it. Just keep you head up and good luck.

Answer 10

I was 16 when I got pregnant. I took a semester off of school to have my baby. I took extra classes during the summer and during the school year so I could graduate on time. I also worked as a waitress in the evenings so I could pay my daycare bill and buy things for the baby. I was scared to tell my family too, but once they got over the initial shock, they were very supportive and helpful. My baby's father also stuck with me and we've now been married for 6 years. I hope you are as lucky!

Answer 11

If you thought that you were old enough to have a sexual relationship, then you have to take responsibility for your actions. It will be hard, but it is something you will have to work through. Your boyfriend will have to get a job if he doesn't have one and help with the financial responsibilities and hopefully he will help you with the emotions that you will encounter throughout the pregnancy and birth of your child. Just know that you will have to be very grown up and responsible, but don't loose hope. One of my best friends got pregnant when she was 14, had the baby when she was 15. She finished highschool and she is 25 now and very successful. Her mom was very helpful and supported her. That's all you'll need is support, not just financial, but emotional. You will be ok, a child is a wonderful blessing. Good luck with telling your grandparents, they may be tough at first, but it will be ok. Things happen for a reason. Join a mother's chat room and don't be afraid to ask questions or to ask fr help. Just keep your head up.