Witty/wordplay statements.............?

Question

-If a groom can have a best man for his wedding, then why can't he have a worst man as well?
-A really talented fashion designer can: make lawsuits for lawyers, make jump suits for basketball players, and make straight jackets for heterosexuals.
-We always see people kissing butt to get ahead in their careers, but we don't see much butt-kissing in porn!
-Thank God there's no social stigma attached to getting crabs from Red Lobster!
-Richard Pryor was a comedic genius. Mozart was a musical genius. Einstein was a scientific genius. Can George Bush be considered a dumb genius?
-It makes sense that we have body wash and mouthwash, but why hogwash?
-You can polish a polish with grease.
-Always remember to resume to update your resume to get jobs.
-You can expose a funny expose about someone.
I won't spend another minute studying the minute details of this case.
I drank the sake for the sake of getting drunk.
Her p*ssy was so p*ssy b/c of the STD.

Got any good jokes?

Answer 1

if you ask my dad why he went into the Navy, he'll say "I wanted to see all I could see but all I could see was sea."

Answer 2

did you hear about the sick skeleton who thought he was bad to the bone
did you hear about the cross-eyed man who was so sad that when he cried the tears ran down his back and then one day he died. the autopsy showed he had a bad case of bacteria.

yours are much funnier than mine - very good!

Answer 3

JOKE:
PATIENT: Doctor, so how did my physical go?

DOCTOR: Fine, you will live to be ninety!

PATIENT: I AM ninety

DOCOTR: Well, - that's it then.