does love change when you have been together for a long time?

Question

Im just curious and at the same time confuse. Sometimes i wonder if i dont love him anymore or if im just with him because off all this time. I dont know if this is normal do you have to feel like the first time you fall in love andwhen your married or does that evolves in something else but still is love. I hope someone can answer my question. I still feel i love him but fwel at the same time that is differrent. I still think our relatioship needs work and i up to do it and for the first time yesterday i really felt that he was up to it too.

I have think of separating but i dont want to i feel a deep pain in my heart when i think of that and i think that means i dont want to do that, and that i still love him.

i have 2 childrens

Answer 1

Yes it does. It gets harder, b/c you get used to it. People fall into routines. If you can keep it exciting, by sharing experiences together, keeping the lines of communication, and learning that what you have together is a privilege and not a right you two will continue to grow into something special. Trust me, thinking about breaking up is a lot different than broken up. You two have built a stronger attachment than you might realize. I applaud you for making the attempt and finding answers to make your relationship work.

Answer 2

Wonderful question!
Indeed, love does change with time spent together.
It matures along with each of you. Just as you and your other will go through many experiences along the road, these when experienced together, give you a "history" to build upon.

The love isn't quite so much the heart-pounding to-die-for experience, but rather one of a slowly building fire ... the coals become embers and these are the things that make for a continuing respect for, and appreciation of your differences as well as your similarities. Love, at this point leads to a recommitment of sorts to continue building and growing together. It's a very comfortable phase of a relationship where the trust has already been tested and built upon.

From my own experience (which is considerable after so many years)not every relationship is "meant" to last forever and ever. Sometimes it's only for a short while during which each is teaching the other. Once those lessons have been learned, or perhaps the learning is just too darn difficult, the relationship may just dwindle away.

Unless you're in the relationship for the long haul, you're better off in relationship with someone who's more like yourself. Sometimes the differences become too much to sustain and the relationship warps and falls apart.

Picking the right person is of major importance to begin with. You don't need to accept just any old body or monkey swinging from a tree. Be selective. Find someone "simpatico" with you and your own personal aims and ideologies.

I hope this helps you see the progression in love. It even gets better!

Answer 3

I think love changes from day to day. Some days you'll look at the person and you'll remember what it was that made you fall in love in the first place. Other days more of a friendship love. Or those days when your like do I really love this person? I think it's normal to still question your relationship even after all this time it shows that there's still room for growth. Or that there's something that you feel is missing. You should talk to your partner and let them know how you feel. Relationships aren't easy and need a lot of work it just doesn't stop over night or after a certain amount of years. It's okay to feel like things are different because they are. You're not the same person you were when you first met and he's probably not the same person either. Just talk.

Answer 4

Well, there is a difference between love and passion. Passion is what you feel in the first mouths and love is when you like some one unconditionally. You love every aspect of that person and you are capable to don't feel the need to be with him all the time. You love the great and bad things about him and you want whats best for him and accept his priorities. Love is when you think about your self and the other person. And you don't ask anything from him, you just want to see him happy. I don't really know how to explain what love is...who does ? I guess I never felt it like that the really true love that is not for your family. If you have things you don't like in him that are always bugging you and you try to forget, that is your head saying that he is not for you. It's not your or his fault.
The true is...you don't need to feel passion all the time, because that is one feeling that you only feel for a few mouths. If you really love him, that lasts for ever. I can't answer about your feelings, that is one thing that only depends on you.
I hope that something that I said help you see or understand something about your problem.

Good luck.

P.S.-sometimes its better to break up and instead of taking all and become dependable on that relationship. If something bothers you that is a sign that maybe just maybe you grow up to different directions.

Answer 5

Yes! I've seen way too many of my friends get married or something like that based simply on the lusty love that began the relationship or because they "already made it this far."

The love you start out with -- they one that makes your chest ache when you look into each other eyes and make love, and all that -- that almost never lasts. You have to have a strong bond with the person on more levels than that. You have to be best friends. You have to really want to spend the rest of your life with them and feel like they are almost a part of yourself. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for heartache and disaster later on.

Simple exercise: Stop and think really hard about what would happen if you broke it off entirely. Make a list of the things that you would miss. Ask yourself, would it really hurt all that much? Can you live without him? Or do you find that you need him and want to be with him forever?

Answer 6

I was just writing to someone else about how after a LTR ends you feel like half of you has been cut off. As a couple you compromise (what food you eat, what movies you watch, where you go) and sometimes one or both of you get sick of all that. Try doing new things together and new things apart, share with him what you do when you are apart.
After months of just cooking din-din and watching movies my bf and I went for a walk through the park and to the waterfront last night. We looked at birds and plants, saw little fish in the water. Just during that 2 hour period we had so many memorable experiences that we can say "remember when..." and and it won't have anything to do with putting too much pepper on the green beans or anything to do with Tony Soprano. Try new things, don't force it but try new things.

Answer 7

When you first get with someone, its new. You just cant get enough of that one person. You want to be together all the time, its so touchy feely...then after a while..being with that person so much, you kind of start to know them almost as well or better than u know your self. You know how to make each other mad, you know the other ones pet peeves...and sometimes you do little things that just really start to annoy the other person. But, sometimes you can work through that, and even tho ur love changes, it doesnt die....and then, theres times when you just fall out of love with eachother. It just depends on the couple, because it takes TWO to make it work. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Oh it certainly changes. You get comfortable with each other. Life is not a fairy tale. But that doesn't mean you stop loving each other necessarily. You just find another ways to show it. Sounds like you're having the honeymoon's-over syndrome,(completely normal) Have a date to the zoo or something. There's nothing wrong with initializing a little fun.Hang in there.

Answer 9

Love definitely changes! We've been married almost 15 years, and the love is deeper, and our relationship sweeter than the day we married. There's a certain amount of trust that has to be earned in a relationship, and once it's there, the bond becomes tighter.

Great question!

Answer 10

Love naturally changes, but its not a bad thing. At first its all hot and heavy love, and after a while it grows deeper and it fills up all the parts of you not just the horny parts. when you are married ans you go through the normal things togther like seeing them through bad or annoying times, or simple times, or just knowing their habits, takes someof the "crazy' stuff out of love..but then you realize you know that person better than anyone and love grows even deeper.