Have you ever been "too" close to a female friend of your wife? Not to say you did anything, but did you feel more than attracted to a friend of your wife? Did your wife realize it and say something?
I'm asking because a few years back I think my husband was attracted to my friend. I've never seen him be that way with anyone else, so it's not like I'm always suspicious. But this friend of mine is a better 'housewive' than me and is easy going and fun. I'm fun, but I tend to be a ***** at times (I'll admit it) and I'm clean but not like near-perfect like my friend. They always laugh just a little too much together, ya know what I mean? Well when I confronted him, of course he denied it. Should this worry me? We're happy and are best friends, so am I just tripping out or what?
2007-04-11 04:37:48 · 10 answers · asked by me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Happiness in marriage, and in life in general, requires trust in our partners, or in people around us. This however does not mean we make fool of ourselves by being blind of what is happening around us. I am glad you confronted your husband about it. You have the right to express and make explicit your fears and doubts to each other, in order to effectively communicate with each other. This is the secret of successful marriage. Just come to think of it, if you did not confront your husband and instead turn sour to him because of your suspicion? COuld your husband have any idea of what is wrong? Surely not. But by being vocal about your suspicion, you are telling your husband," be very careful because i know and i am watching!" This is itself is a deterrent factor for an extramarital relation to go further because you are signaling to both of them that you are not dumb and naive, you definitely knows what is going around.
Talk to your friend as well. You can be honest with her. It is better for her to know it from you than from others. You know the danger of gossips. You are just telling them a chick, by the end of the day it is already a chicken.
Since you are aware of your weaknesses and deficiencies. DOnt be a losser. Improve and repackage yourself. Learning is lifetime. Its never too late to change.
2007-04-11 04:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by BigBro Paul 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Totally been there done that. She was a coworker and our relationship started down a path that should have ended badly. My wife finally called me on it and I realized the screw up I was making. They are actually still friends, and my marriage is better than ever.
What I wanted to comment on though was you comment, "They always laugh just a little too much together". It is too easy to have fun with someone you have no life issues with. It is like meeting people on vacation. No worried makes for a fun time. Someone different makes for a fun time. You think they are the greatest, but you don't have to LIVE with them, fight about who does the dishes, who pays the bills, who watches the kids. This is why cheating is so tempting. This is why often when the cheat runs off with the girlfriend, they come running back, why reality hit.
If you husband had to live with little miss perfect homemaker and party girl, he'd get tired of her too. Yeah, he may actually be tired of you, and your day to day lives. People need some change, some distractions. That is why people on here with sucky marriages are told to date again. Go out, get a sitter, do things fun again.
2007-04-11 11:58:58 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman but I have an answer to your question because of my experience with my brother in law who is married to my older sister. We are ten years apart.
They are still married and he loves her very much. But I stay far away from him except when it comes to family gatherings, and even then I keep my distance.
About 4 years ago he made a pass at me, and told me that if it were allowed by law he would have married me too. My sister is a more serious type of person where as I am exactly how you described this female friend of yours. I was not married at the time, and I never told my sister. But it is possible that he is too close to this female friend of yours.
Keep your eyes and ears wide open. A word to the wise is sufficient, as the saying goes.
2007-04-11 11:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
are you feeling left out or does he or they tell you whats funny ? are you part of the loop ? do they let you in on the joke or are you the joke ? is he just being a good friend or is he flirting ? these are 2 people who are your best friends . try not to hurt either of them as you may lose both if you confront them on this . stay outside and watch them to see if your feelings are correct .
2007-04-11 12:05:41 · answer #4 · answered by northernwolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a moment of insecurity. Go on and act like everything is good. If he is doing something you will find out. But I am sure it is nothing. Work on yourself and it will all come together. Don't compare yourself to your friends. But examine yourself and work to improve what you feel needs to be improved.
2007-04-11 12:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by tprx899 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes to all your questions except the last. You are not tripping out. My wife said something and it stopped because my marriage means too much to me.
2007-04-11 11:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your husband has been very critical of you. What do you mean, she is a better housewife than you?
I wouldn't worry about it at this point, but I would definitely keep your eye on her. If she's any kind of a friend she'll back off.
2007-04-11 11:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
god, just a OLD happy married guy feeling his oats, long as he is next to you at night and you know where he is all day, let it go, must be tons of other things you can find to think about ??
2007-04-11 11:53:14 · answer #8 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, yeah. He's schtuping her.
2007-04-11 12:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lorenzo Steed 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Happily Married Men is a term like Military Intelligence, they just don't belong together.
2007-04-11 11:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 8⤋