I was with a girl for 4 years and she moved back home 1 1/2 years ago (to S. America), so it became long distance. Even though I was ready to marry her and was planning on doing it this spring, she told me 3 months ago that she met someone in her country, he proposed, she accepted, and they got married last month. I think she was obsessed with getting married and this is what she did, she didnt think I would do it and made a rash choice. Her family/friends did not agree with her choice, wanted her to marry me. I begged but she wouldnt change her mind. I love her and am in a immense depression. She has been married 6 weeks and last week she emailed my mom out of the blue and said she cries every day for me bcs she knows I am sad. She said she thinks about me and dreams about me each day. Says her husband is trying to help her "forget me." She said she wants to try with her marriage but that she cries every day bcs. she knows I am suffering. Can I write her? Call? Nothing? Girls, advice!
2007-04-11 04:23:53 · 17 answers · asked by robert7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best thing is for you to let go of her. Her marrying another man despite your plan is an indication of her commitment to you. Desperation to marry is not a reason for her to rush this out. If she really did love you she could have waited for you.
This crying thing and letting you know is just a show or a compensation that she is apparently concern about you. Which if she really do, should not have hurt you in the first place. The earlier you cut this relation with her the better.
Do not be depressed you deserve a more faithful and commited GF or wife. I can feel you are a good man.
Cry if you must. Lets those tears wash away all the pains in your hearts but never ever communicate with her again. If you do you are just like rubbing salt to your wounds.
I hope you are not that. There are people who love pain and sufferings but you deserve more. Be happy, be positive remember the saying if God closes a door, He opens the windows. Just let go, you'll just be surprized a more loving, caring and commited girl will come your way. God bless you!
2007-04-11 04:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by BigBro Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is what dating is all about. It gave you an opportunity to really get to know her before you married her. It sounds like she is in a hurry to have a family. Marriage vows should be taken seriously, it's a life long commitment. It isn't trial an error. She wants to try it with him first, then if it doesn't work she will try it with you. Do you not love yourself enough to be bother by that? Assuming she would come back, how secure would you be with some one like her?
You should also consider that if she left her husband for another man she would be commiting adultery for breaking her marriage vows, and if that other man was you, you would also become an adulterer.
Carlos
http://www.valleypraise.org
2007-04-11 12:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by Carlos & Tes -Marriage Ministers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really dodged the bullet on this one. Your mother should have never have forwarded the email. The girl had no right to contact you. Send a reply to your mom and tell her " to never forward any email from this girl again, that you are over her and have moved on." and make sure your mom sends it back to this girl. This girl is playing a game with you if she had wanted to marry you she would have. Chalk it all up to experience and be happy you didn't waste any more than 5-1/2 years of your life on her. Of course her parents would love you as a son in law you probably have lots more money and don't live in a rat hole. They were trying to get her to use you to make all there lives better. People do what they have to do to better themselves. She could not bring herself to do it.
2007-04-11 11:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sad and very painful. I really can't understand the husband motives. I don't know why it's so important for him to be married to someone that is not in love with him. If she want to make her marriage work, then you must let her do so. Calling her, writing her Will only hurt the both of you even more. I know this is hard for her, especially when it come to her wifely duties.You have to keep in mind, she want her marriage to work.
2007-04-14 23:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. Just believe in the old saying. If you love someone, then set them free, if they come back they are yours. She didn't come back, she wants you back but still married. Keep on open mind maybe one day she will have the courage to walk away from that mistake. Don't help her because if anything goes wrong between you and her, she will blame you for breaking up her marriage.
2007-04-11 11:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by Gail S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am answering this again. She is a fool. I know you love her and your feelings for her may never go away. Write her and tell her you hope she will be happy with her new life and you wish her well. Tell her you will always love her but it is time to move on. You will love again. I am so sorry, I know how much a broken heart hurts, believe me. I drank alcohol for the last 2 years trying to forget someone. I finally realized I could be happy. I moved on and stopped drinking so much.
Go out with friends, go meet someone new who will not do this to you.
2007-04-11 11:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How very sad. She gave up her true love, probably realizes she made a mistake, and now is trying to be honorable to her husband. If you have her email address, maybe you could email her and ask how she is doing, tell her you hope she is happy because you love her enough to want happiness for her, but you will always be there for her.
I could be wrong about my advice, but I'm such a romantic at heart, and this is so very sad.
2007-04-11 11:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to give her one last message. Because she couldn't wait for you and was in a hurry-she now has to live with her decision. She made a bad choice. She was living a dream of you showing up and interrupting the wedding she agreed to. You need to move on as well. You need a woman who is willing to wait and has the maturity to deal with the wait and faith in your love. She may have issues with those very things for a long time.
2007-04-11 11:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to forget HER. she played you like a fool. I know its sad and depressing when a relaionship ends, but you need to start over without her and find someone else that loves you and appreciates you, not just up and leave and marry for the sake of marrying someone. she is far away, keep it that way. She made her bed let her lay in it
2007-04-11 11:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by debbie v 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be mean but it sounds like you lucked out. She is so immature that she marrys for the sake of marrying. She needs her new husband to help her get over you? Boy did you luck out is all I can say... Forget her and move on. Don't let her keep you chained to her.
2007-04-11 11:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋