Would you cut off you own family if your in laws told you to?
Long story short, our families do not like each other, but my family just wants us to be happy so they're not a problem. But my in-laws from day 1 has made it their mission to tear us apart. Now, they want me to cut off my family. What do I do?
He's more willing to choose his family over me and our unborn child. I told him I'm willing to cut of mine, but I'm cutting of his too then. All I want is to be happy with him. But I'm beginning to think it's a lost cause.
2007-04-11 04:19:40 · 12 answers · asked by hsk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he doesn't have any problems with my family.. it's just that his family can't stand mine.. and they can't stand the thought of their son seeing my parents either.
so he hasn't since we've been married.
that's the reason he didn't go to my brother's wedding - b/c his parents told him not to go. even with that i still stuck by him.
2007-04-11 04:37:41 · update #1
Looks like you made a bad choice in husbands.
Not much you can do if he chooses them over you, only one person to blame...you. You are the one who decided to marry someone that loves his family more than his wife. Next time pick a better husband.
2007-04-11 04:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it depends how your family is towards you if they are horrible people what do you have to lose. but if they are good to you and have always been i would tell his family to stick it were the sun don't shine and let your husband know when he married you your family is just the same then as they are now whats so different and if he doesn't like them either come up with a plan that you can both agree on or if it causes too much problems let him walk and stick to your guns you are your own person married or not no one can tell you who you can and cannot talk to just think about it if he leaves your breaking up simply because he doesnt like your family in my opinion that's a really sad excuse
2007-04-11 04:32:31 · answer #2 · answered by crystal b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never cut off ties just because they don't like your family. First off you and your husband are grown adults raising your own family. In which you don't need his parents telling you what, how and when. If his parents are that childish, yes they are very childish, then I would personally consider doing as little with them as possible. Your husband really needs to step up and retrieve his manhood as he is nothing more than mommy and daddy's puppet. Do you really want them controlling every aspect of your life? Imagine if your marriage fails, who will be there for you?? His family or yours? Family is supposed to stick together unless of course there is some type of traumatic problem in which it interferes with your life, hence your in-laws. Do they financially support your family in which you feel your obligated to their terms?? I simply can't see how you're willing to just let your family go. How would you feel if your child's future spouse wanted to cut off ties with you. You know, after at least 18 years of loving and nuturing your child. Really think about what is being requested of you. Then get angry and stand up for your family who has done nothing wrong other than being who they are. You have to recognize that you are blessed to have your family. Not everybody is fortunate enough to have a family. I would personally step up and take hold of this marriage as your husband is not. Run your own family the way you want. And put yourself in your families shoes, the hurt and not understanding why. One day your parents/family won't be here for you to talk with or enjoy their company as we all must go home to God. Don't regret cutting them off. Also another thought for you, we as people are a reflection of our family. Our families help in creating the type of people we are today. Our families pass on their values, their love and hopes to future generations. Do you really want to deprive your child of such a thing?? It really is all up to you, but I would never compromise who I am or where I came from for anybody!! Good Luck & God Bless!
2007-04-11 05:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by zero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
biblically speaking, the man is supposed to LEAVE his parents and his wife is supposed to follow. THen they create their own family separate from both sets of parents.
Tell him, " You want me away from my parents? LEAD THE WAY, BUDDY!"
But cutting off any and all contact? That's just plain stupid! If his parents are the ones with the problem, then it's their problem. What good reason can a person have for completely cutting off their parents unless there's an extremely unhealthy situation there? It doesn't make any sense...
2007-04-11 04:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. None of that changes my previous answer. Never would I cut off my family because the in-laws wanted it. It still would not be a question worth considering. They have no right asking. You're husband has no right considering it. Even if my family was accepting of it, I wouldn't do it.
They are manipulating you. They are trying to drive you off. It seems to be working.
2007-04-13 05:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not understand the place to start different than you will not be able to restoration somebody else's problems for them. She has kin and you are able to desire to indicate which you will help her slightly longer yet on your person kin's sake, she will would desire to pass. Your a reliable pal for feeling approximately her such as you do yet do not enable your emotions over holiday worry-unfastened experience. you will not be able to do all of it. it fairly is between her husband and her and in the event that they don't restoration it, then she will would desire to p.c.. up the place issues left off and be responsible for her very own childrens and existence. do you want to be doing this ten years from now? extra efficient initiate making some arrangements quickly.
2016-10-28 10:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well thats absolutely ridiculous.
Never do his in laws have to see or be in the same room as your family.
They are being selfish and thats stupid. Especially being you said your family only wants you to be happy.
Why would your husband even decide something so stupid. Actually I would tell my family basically go screw yourself your not going to tell me and my wife how to live our lives and who to chose to have in our lives.
If he wants you to end ties with your family he needs to do so wtih his if thats what you feel...it would be different if you didn't get along with your family and it was ok but if you love them and want them to be apart of your life especially with their grandchild then I would tell him your going to talk to your family as long as he talks to his.
If you believe all you need is him and you two can start your own family and be happy then do that.
I think this is stupid that his family would make you choose
2007-04-11 04:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't seen my in-laws in three years - I have an 8 year old son who has only seen them 5 times his whole life - Stand your ground, thell your spouse how you feel, and stick to your guns, your husband has to stant up for you and your child, if he doesn't he is a loser, you and your child should be #1, then his parents. Been there done that one.
2007-04-11 04:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by kgperry70 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't care for my in-laws, his brothers and sisters.I resolved never to see them again after the events of my husbands parents' funerals. They pre-decided who could send flowers for the funeral. I was deviate by buying flowers for my dead parents-in-law. My husband had tried to stop me. It wasn't part his family's organized plan. Their controlling was the last straw. My husband has been one to choose them over me and it is still a problem in our marriage because he wants me to see those insulting people, while he makes excuses for them. I'm not going to grin and bare it anymore. He says he is standing up to them now, but I'll never see it because see or speak with them again.
Don't let them tell you how to goose step in their ranks. Do what makes you happy. Let them whine that you won't goose step for them. If your husband has a cult mind set and can't think for himself, good riddance. You don't need him. A puppet makes a poor husband.
2007-04-11 11:54:35 · answer #9 · answered by so tired 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't cut off ties with anyone that you don't want to.
It sounds like his parents are controlling and manipulative.
I would be severing all ties and communication with them. If their son wants a relationship with them, that's his business.
But for his parents to tell you to cut your family off?????
I'd be telling some in-laws to **ck off in a New York minute!
2007-04-11 04:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋