Parents got me married when 17 years old to a relative from india also 17 years old. After 17 years of married life and 3 children, I fall in love with a chinese lady in china who is 23 years old, I'm a business man so travel to china every 2 months from UK !! My mind is like matrix now, i realise now what it's like being in love but then think of my 3 kids. Any suggestions ?????
2007-04-11 04:16:21 · 11 answers · asked by saj k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick with your kids. You have a responsibility to them and to god to raise them properly. Their spirits will be crushed if you leave them because of another woman. They will never look at you the same again.
2007-04-11 04:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Snow Man 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
1) keep her in china as a mistress. they look at money in the long run. forget all those nice things that they say to woo your heart. the moment you are old and feeble they will disappear rather than taking care of you. even if they want to, they do not know how in UK systems and to teach her all over again will kill you anyway
2) after you die, they take your money and split anyway. the most they would moan for you is 1 year.
3) come into a financial arrangement with her. then you are not torn. by the time, you reach a certain age where you know you cannot do it anymore, then let her go and marry someone and have a life
2007-04-11 21:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by Matchstick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you considered a minor after marrying @ seventeen and having three healthy children.No, you are responsible for your kids and family.And being an Indian , you should understand the cultural and traditional values around you!Nothing beats more to bigamy.And you wife and children will be ostracised for your lovely pleasures.Thinking for you should be before you had your kids ,Thinking for them now is only way to break tis matrix mind of yours!I know for sure you will be not wanting your children to be eating noodles for you i suppose!
2007-04-11 11:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with your wife. Tell her what has happened and after she has had some time, perhaps the two of you can seek counseling and begin to work on your marriage. I truly believe that honesty is the best policy. Also pray and ask God for guidance. This can be very detrimental to everyone if you do not handle this well. Your wife deserves to know the truth.
2007-04-11 11:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by OTOTW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. I was with my ex for 27 years and always felt terrible when the song , "I wanna know what love is" played. I stayed with her for the kids and spent my life as a slave to my family just to be doing the right thing in my mind. Well she left me and I do know what love is now and can't believe I traded my life to be with that woman (wife). You only have one life and it is soo much better to be in love that be married for the sake of tradition and kids. Divorce wasn't my end , but my beginning!
2007-04-11 11:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love your wife? Can you make it work if you cut off ties with the chinese woman? Does your wife love you?
Everyone deserves happiness... you only have one life. Think about how this would effect your family, especially your children. Can you afford to take care of your wife and children AND the other woman?
2007-04-11 11:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have another kid and surely you must start respecting your wife regardless of the situation and take what you have learned from this and make your wife happier and everything should be OK. Other than that tell your wife, commit adultery and loose everything you have. Not much of a choice here.
2007-04-11 11:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. What a difficult situation. If the woman you are in love with lived near you, I would say go for it. EVERY person in the world deserves to feel love for, and from their partner. I wish I knew more of your situation to help you, but I don't know anything about your culture, the chinese culture, etc. If at all possible though, and if you were certain you wouldn't lose your kids or never see them again, I would say go for your love, not a loveless marriage.
2007-04-11 11:20:50 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you said you love the chinese lady but do you still love your wife too? if answer is yes, then i strongly suggest stick to your wife. if not, then take time to reassess. what makes you say you love the chinese lady? is it boosting your ego? will you be ready to explain to kids if you are really serious? for whatever, dont forget your responsiblities to your kids.
2007-04-11 11:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by meh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say you said your vows now stick to them. But in your case I don't know what to say. I am leaning towards following your heart but please never leave your children out of your life...
2007-04-11 11:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋