I need help making my final decision. Is it best to move out on my own without my boyfriend?

Question

I'm wondering if moving out will help me feel better. We've lived together for almost 3 years, and he still hasn't proposed. I clean up after him and his dogs constantly. He belittles me in subtle ways, sometimes in public. We were planning on buying a house, but now he says we can't because he can't come up w/his $. When he said that it crushed me. He knows I've been working hard for a year to save and find a nice home.

I'd be broke for awhile if I moved out, but what is my best option? Our other roommate is moving out in 3 wks and we'll barely be able to afford this place.

Dated for 3 years, lived together for 2 years**

Answer 1

sounds like a situation i was in a couple of years ago. i tried to put up with it but if ur in a situation that is makin u unhappy u have to do what u feel is best for u. if u stay ull just be misreable & thats not a good feeling to have every day. id rather be broke than unhappy every day. i understand u love him & want to be with him but dont let a man hold u back from something u want to do. remember NEVER MAKE SUM1 UR EVERYTHING CUZ WHEN THEYRE GONE U GOT NOTHING just sign a 1 year lease & see if he cleans his act up in that time. good luck

Answer 2

I would take the chance and move out. It will help you feel better because it will be your place! He can still come over if he likes, but make it clear, this is your place. This will give you independence, and you won't be cleaning up after his dogs. Who knows you may find you don't need his belittling in subtle ways, even sometimes in public. He seems to be constantly putting things off. I think this could go on indefinitely. Why should you be working so hard for something that may never happen. (House). I'm not trying to hurt you - I'm just trying to be realistic.

Answer 3

Seriously.....

Everything you said here except the "Still has not proposed" leads me to ask.... Why have you not left yet? That is what you need to put in context before you go. Ask yourself this also....If he did propose right this second, would you stay?

Take some stock in the emotional investment over the ecconomic. If you feel his heart is in the right place, try to make it work. But what I see is not there at all. I would leave based on what you wrote here.

Answer 4

Yes, the sooner the better. Maybe the shock of losing his "maid" and readily available sex will open his eyes. If not, the next step would probably be looking for someone else. Most men aren't wired to want to get married when they can have all sex without bothering.....

Answer 5

You would be broke financially but you would be rich in self-respect.

You can't put a price on being happy....leave him.