How do I make my 19 yr old get a full time job?

Question

She graduated high school and moved in with some 26 yr old guy who had a 3 yr old, and he put his utilities in my daughters name. I never even met the guy, and she was missing for about a week when I finally found out what she had done. I was totally disappointed, then after about a year, he kicked her out and she came crawling back home. Now she has all these utility bills gone to collections and no full time job. She works 1 day a week in a store in the mall
She fills out applications and they never call. I just find it hard to believe she cannot get full time employment. She refuses to work in fast food, so we have been to all kinds of stores and places, but they just never call
What can I do? I work 12 hour shifts 4 days a week and when I am home, I would like to have the house to myself. She needs insurance and something to do besides sleeping in till 2 pm and on the computer the rest of the day.
What can I do to get her to get a full time job?

Answer 1

This is coming from someone who has been there and done that. Your daughter is using you. There are full-time jobs out there and if she is sleeping until 2PM she is missing most of them. This will sound harsh but she is 19 and it is time for harsh. You must give her a dead line for finding a job. I would say no more than 2 weeks. At the end of the 2 weeks she must start to pay you rent and board. Make this an amount that she will be able to afford only with full-time employment. Here is the hardest part if she does not find a job you will have to kick her out of your home. It is YOUR home. YOU worked for it. YOU pay your bills on time. YOU pay the mortgage. YOU supported her until she left home at 18. SHE must start to support herself. You are doing her no favors by allowing her to freeload off you. It can work. It worked for me. My daughter is now a self-supporting 32 year old and would not think of freeloading off me.

Answer 2

Couple of things...

1) Don't give her any, ANY, spending money.

2) Don't help her with the utility bills she racked up.

3) Start charging her rent. You don't have to be ridiculous, just $100 a month or something, tell her you're working hard and would like some help with the bills.

4) Cancel internet. Cancel cable. You'll suffer temporarily, but it will hurt her worse, she'll be the one lying around the house all day with nothing to do. You can take up hobbies to offset your temporary entertainment strike.

I ordered them somewhat by severity. Start with #1 and move down the list depending on how much you want her to develop personal responsibility and your comfort levels allow.

Answer 3

You can't make her get a job. That is her choice but you can stop enabling her lifestyle.

You can give her some tough love and kick her out. Yes, she's your daughter and you love her. But if she refuses to take any sort of job and doesn't help around the house she's not contributing to the family well being.

If you don't want to do that. Get rid of the internet, cable and anything else that you can think of. You can also lock up the fridge and cupboards so she can't eat you out of house and home.

Answer 4

Kick her out of the house. Sorry, I know it sounds harsh, but she needs some tough love.

At the moment, you're enabling her behaviour. It's your fault that she's sitting around your house like a big sack of potatoes, because *you* are allowing her to do it. You have the power in this situation - take it!

You need to make it very clear that she cannot get along like this. Say that she needs to pay you rent if she wants to stay in her room. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. Really simple.

I know it seems difficult, but it really will be best for her - and for you - in the long term. She may resent you for a bit, but she'll thank you in the future.

Answer 5

This situation stinks so badly that I can't imagine actually following through on this advise. Nothing exactly like this has occurred in my family, yet.

1) Make it clear that you love her, and that from that love you want to help her get on with her live.

2) Make it clear that she must work full time earning money, or she must work full time gaining education to position her for a better full-time position.

3) Make it clear that there are rules of the household that must be followed [fill in your rules here related to things like food, house work, guests, "overnight" guests, drinking, automobile use, financial expectations, ...].

4) Be ready to help her move out to some other living situation -- YWCA, a rooming house -- and that in that situation you will extend transitional financial assistance of X dollars for Y weeks.

5) Stick with it, and face down the challenges and confrontations. Don't make threats. Establish your expectations, with explicit predefined consequences both for failure and for success.

6) Avoid yelling and any hint of violence.

Good luck. No one wants to be where you are now, but many have been down similar roads. Find others for support, perhaps through your religious organization, or even a crisis intervention officer with your local police department. Call your local child welfare services office. Find a Yahoo group and participate. You aren't alone.

Answer 6

p.c.. up some Microsoft Excel and undemanding accounting expertise and you're able to particularly earn like $12 or extra. there is a lot of unfastened tutorials on the internet. GOOGLE it. you are able to then examine in with Temp companies that provide section time gigs. you additionally can coach somebody your newly won skills for a fee.