Is this a weird/strange question?

Question

If you've had the same partner for a number of years, how do you know if you still love them. My partner has few faults and I have never entertained the idea of looking at another man. But I can't help wondering how I should feel about him. He doesn't make my heat beat faster like when we first got together, but at the same time although he's not a great communicator, I miss him when he's not in the house. I find I look at him with nice thoughts, a lot. Have I become comfortable with him. Should I be asking myself how I would feel if we were no longer together. Help!!!!!

Answer 1

Well, I haven't been in a relationship that lasted more than three years but,
If you can't see yourself missing a day without hearing his voice ---you still love him.
If you notice the the way his eyes twinkle when he smiles--you still love him.
If you can give him a kiss after he throws his underwear on the floor, you still love him.
If you find yourself doing little, silly things to get his attention--you still love him.
If you are not trying to change him---you still love him.
If it's a faster heart beat you want---that is done in the privacy of one's bedroom. If he's not giving you enough attention in that area, tell him---not during dinner, during the act--tell him what you want and you'll most likely get it. Just don't forget to return the favor.
And yes, you probably are comfortable. What you need to ask yourself is "Am I happy?"

Answer 2

Every relationship gets to the "comfortable" zone, and that's how you know you still love him. If you miss him when he isn't home, if you don't get disgusted when he touches you, you are still in love with him. All couples go through that "butterfly" stage for the first 1 1/2 to 2 years, and maybe it's just that the two of you are in a routine now. You can get the feeling back, but you do have to work at it. Change things up. Change what you do, when you do it, where you go, etc. Go to a comedy club together, go out for drinks one night and be sure to sit close and touch. Talk about things you wouldn't normally talk about. My husband and I do these things all the time to keep the sparks the alive and after being together three years (yes, a short time) we still have so much passion for each other.

You are fine and you are Normal!

Answer 3

Well you suffer the same misconception of what love is. All love is, is the uncontrollable desire to put someone else's interests ahead of your own, even if that results in pain to you. So if you would push hubby from in-front of a car and let the car hit you instead, you are still really in love with hubby.

However, what you are really worried about is the fact that you are no-longer infatuated in hubby, and this is normal, infatuation will always fade. It is impossible to feel that way for too long, as routine sets in and everyday life carries on.

What you need to be looking at is if you still love him and if you still bring each other happiness. You can still love someone, but can still fight and bring each other pain, and at that point you either fix it or walk away, but you will never get the infatuation back, but it should have been replaced by something much better.

Answer 4

Comfortable is a good place to be. I am sure that you would not want to be in those first stages of insecurity no matter how much heart flutter was involved. It is when you take each other for granted that is cause for concern. So try not to get in a rut and never, NEVER assume anything! Remember the Golden Rule and let him know that you still love him, admire him, and have those 'nice thoughts'. Act on those nice thoughts too! :)

Yes, you love him. No doubt about it. Just stoke up those flames of passion and go with it! Good Luck

Answer 5

Well, you've already said that you miss him when he's not in the house, so I think you'll probably miss him just as much(or even more) when you're no longer together. I basically think that this is a sign that you still like him. Maybe do something to spice up you relationship with him. But anyway, i think you should stay with him unless you REALLY don't feel anything for him at all.

Answer 6

You're missing the exciting part of yur relationship, when it was new and you were still learning about each other and everything was so romantic.

You're a fool.

Right now you're in the good part of the relationship... the part where you are comfortable together. Do you have any idea how hard that is to find?

If you are really missing all that other stuff try spicing up the relationship, but don't get flaky just because your heart does not flutter like it used to.

Answer 7

Yes it is a strange question. Of course you have become comfortable with him you've been together a long time. Sounds like you still love him if you think good thought about him and miss him when he's not around.

Answer 8

I don't think there is anything wrong with your relationship... however I do think you and your boyfriend have unknowingly stopped trying with each other. I have been with the same guy for almost 4 years and my heart still beats faster when I see him. I think this is because we still try hard to look nice for each other, dress up nicely, go out places and generally act like we are on our first date. I truly believe the love is still in your relationship, but maybe you should try harder to keep the spark. Go out and act like teenagers again xx

Answer 9

I think the heart beat faster thing only happens on first few months of being together. I don't know if anyone knows what love is but if you are happy don't want to stray and love his company then I would say it is love same as me.

Answer 10

Love evolves from the initial sweaty palms and rapid heart beat to something deeper, more meaningful and long lasting. If you miss him when he's gone and you can't wait for him to get back home, you're OK. It's when they leave and you do the happy dance when you've got a problem.